Master of Minds, Master of Me

Tuesday has passed in peace. I think I have managed to calm down from yesterday pretty well. There is nothing else to do but just wait for Felix to come back and face the consequences of my actions. I knew the risk of asking Felix to avoid the canyon. The good side of all of this is that this country will not end up in civil war this time, since I’m probably going to die earlier than that.

I spent almost the whole day in church this time. Trying to go back to being content. Back to asking for forgiveness and aid. But even I noticed that my prayers weren't nearly as sincere as usual. Like I’m just saying all of those things out of habit. I just hope that in time I find my devoted voice again.

When I’m finished with my bath and Milna leaves, I just slump into my chair. I’m probably not able to see my family in this life anymore. Or Father Owen. I’m glad I at least got the chance to visit Hans yesterday. Maybe I should go see him tomorrow too.

Knock knock.

My heart freezes. That wasn't the door. It was the balcony. Crap. Is he already here? The war never finished this fast. Maybe the effect of that ambush failing affected the war more than I would have guessed. I’m scared to turn my head. Scared to see the look on his face.

Knock knock.

I force myself to get up from my chair. I know I can't escape him.

I freeze even more when I see him. He is lazily leaning against the balcony pillar. He is still wearing his armor. There is blood all over it. His hair is messy, and he seems rather battered. Like he just exited the battlefield. Did he really come straight here?

I focus on his face. His face looks rather serious. His gaze peers right into me, and it is intense. Way too intense. My heart beats so loudly that it feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest. I walk slowly toward the balcony.

When I look at him now, I can clearly see him destroying the Palace. He seems dangerous. He looks like he is my doom. And in this case, that’s actually pretty accurate. He seems nothing like the happy Prince anymore. I open the door lock and take a couple of steps back.

He slowly twists the handle, and I feel my stomach twist at the same time. He opens the door slowly, like he is intentionally tormenting me, prolonging all of this.

He takes one heavy step forward, and a wicked grin spreads to his face. For some reason, my body reacts to that. I feel the heat rising. Why? I have no idea.

When he speaks, his voice is already low and dangerous.

“Ready to face the consequences of your actions, pretty flower?”

I gulp way too loudly. I thought I was ready for his accusations. But seeing him like this? I’m everything but ready.

“So now that I’m here for real, you are not going to even talk to me anymore?”

I start taking steps back as he approaches me. I can't find the strength to answer him.

“Don't worry. I have my ways to get you to talk.”

He shoves his hand into his pocket and pulls out a pair of handcuffs.

My eyes widen, and panic increases. I’m so doomed. Warning him about the ambush wasn't anywhere near worth all of this. What's the point of trying to save someone who is just going to kill me after? I gather my courage to talk to him.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? For what exactly?”

“Everything.”

“Everything?”

I nod, and my back bumps into a wall.

“So do you feel sorry for seducing me yesterday? Only that you could deny me today?”

What? Is that what he is mad about? I thought he would accuse me of scheming with his enemies or something.

“I didn't seduce you.”

“Oh, your look was most definitely seducing. Because you, I got a fucking boner during a fight.”

“What? I thought you–”

He cuts me off. “Do you remember what I said I would do when I come back?”

I just stare at him, confused. I’m really not keeping up with this situation at all. But before I get to answer, his hand grabs my throat. He pulls me against him, and his lips crash to mine.

The kiss is vastly different from last time. It was gentle and soft. This is hard and consuming. This feels more like devouring than kissing. But I still get myself lost in it. I don’t understand why he still wants to kiss me. But I let him. I answer him. And far too soon, he withdraws from it. I stare at his ocean eyes; the shimmering light is not there. Only the deep abyss of the bottom of the ocean.

And before I can even realise what he is doing, I feel the handcuffs clicking and a shock travels through me as I see my hands are cuffed together. What the hell is he going to do? I was just about to ask him that when he suddenly lifts me to his shoulder. I yelp and flinch when the hard metal of his armor grinds against my stomach.

He slams me to my bed, and I just lie there, so utterly shocked and unable to do or say anything. He watches me as he takes off his armor and drops it onto the floor. And he stands there with a thin shirt that exposes his muscular body. He takes his belt off in one smooth motion, and my heart starts to beat even faster. He slips the belt under the handcuffs and yanks my hands over my head and locks the belt to the headboard of the bed. I keep just staring at him, still too stunned about all of this.

He climbs on top of me and leans his head closer to me.

‘’What are you doing?’’ I’m finally able to muster out.

He grins, and just that makes me clench my thighs more together.

‘’Did you really think that I would have changed my opinion about you? That I wouldn't want you anymore? If anything, I only want you even more.’’

I really don't understand anything. He should accuse me, hate me. Not want me.

‘’But aren’t you suspicious of me?’’

His hand travels slowly against my body, and I already feel my body trembling. Probably out of fear of what he is going to do. Or at least I hope that’s the reason. His fingers land on my chin, and his thumb slides over my lower lip once again, parting my lips.

‘’Suspicious? More like curious.’’

‘’Aren’t you going to question me about it?’’

‘’Right now? I have more urgent things in mind.’’

He leans in for another kiss, and I feel his tongue sliding between my lips. It feels weird. I really don’t know how to kiss like this. Or even kiss in general. I don’t know what I should do. His tongue slowly rubs against mine, like it’s tempting it to answer. I hesitantly do just that. Us kissing like this makes the heat intensify between my thighs. And the weird need for pressure rises. His right hand starts to explore against me, slowly creeping lower and eventually sliding under my dress.

I can’t believe we are actually doing this. This is not a vision, not one of his spells. This is for real. And still I can’t help but surrender to his touch. I gasp when his fingers press against my panties.

He withdraws from the kiss and smirks at me.

‘’Who would have thought that an obedient daughter of a High Priest would be this wet only from kissing?’’

My cheeks flush. I hope he is just joking. I’m not that aroused. Or am I? I should not be. I understand that I felt attracted to him when he was being more like a charming gentleman. But he is most definitely not that now. He is clearly forcing himself into me. I should not be aroused by that. But when he slightly starts to rub me over my panties. I can’t stop the moan escaping from my lips.

Please forgive me God. I can’t just help my body react to him. I know it’s wrong. But I have no strength to resist him anymore.

‘’Your moans drive me crazy Lo. You have no idea how much I want to sink my cock inside you.’’

I snap my eyes open from the shock of his words. ‘’Please don’t.’’

He chuckles. ‘’Don’t worry Lo. I won’t. I have my rules too. But don’t think I will let you go this time that easily. Even without me sinking deep inside you, I make you moan louder. I will explore your body, every inch, every detail. I will learn you. I will figure you out Lo. And I promise. I will make you come.’’

I feel my… thing pulsing for the thought of that. I should say no. Beg him not to. But my stupid mouth just won't move. I just moan again when his fingers rub me against me harder. But then, suddenly, he withdraws his hand and leaves me aching.

‘’Patience Lo. Not yet.’’

He gets up from the bed.

‘’Where are you going?’’

‘’Well, I think we can both agree that I’m not pretty decent right now. I’m covered in blood and sweat. And I think you also need the time to repent your actions. So I thought leaving you there for a while would serve as a good punishment.’’

‘’What?! You can’t just leave me here!’’ I start to pull the cuffs, trying to yank myself free. But they won’t budge.

‘’Of course I can. I’m not the one cuffed to a bed.’’ He says teasingly.

‘’Please don’t leave me.’’

‘’Oh? Are you so desperate for my touch?’’ He smirks.

‘’I didn’t mean it like that.’’ I try to defend myself.

‘’Don’t worry Lo. I’m sure I can figure out something to keep you pleased while I’m absent.’’

‘’What?! Your Highness, just let me go.’’

He glances around the room for a while, clearly thinking. Totally ignoring my pleas. After a while, he walks toward my window and unties the long ropes that hold my curtains away from the window. He knots them together and walks back toward me.

‘’What are you going to do with that?’’ I ask, my voice shaky.

‘’You’ll see.’’

He lifts my dress and freezes for a moment, his eyes locked between my thighs. I start to feel embarrassed by his gaze.

‘’Fuck Lo, you really are testing my patience here.’’ His hand slowly travels my inner thighs, and I feel the heat from his touch travelling straight to my core.

‘’I’m not doing anything.’’

‘’Oh yes, you are. You are messing with my head, big time.’’

‘’I think you are the one who messes with heads! You jerk!’’ I suddenly snap at him, not sure why.

But in response to my outburst, a tiny jolt of electricity comes from his hand, making my body twitch.

‘’You'd better clean your mouth, pretty flower. I’m already on the edge. You acting like that is just pushing me closer to it.’’

If him acting like this is only being close to the edge. I never want to know how he acts if he goes over it. So I snap my lips tightly shut. Not risking him going even more mad.

He slides the rope between my legs and brings them up on both sides. Under my back and on top of my stomach. He wraps the rope around my neck. He tightens the rope, and I feel the rope pushing against my underwear, and the sensation of that makes me gasp. He tightens the rope and backs away, standing next to my bed. He looks at me with an extremely satisfied look. I feel the rope digging against my neck. Once again, the fear is starting to consume me more and more.

‘’Perfect.’’ He finally says after a while. ‘’So... I’m going to head to the shower now.’’

He turns to leave, and the panic and desperation take control of me.

‘’Your Highness! Please don’t leave me here. Not like this. Just untie me, and I promise I will wait for you.’’

I yank the cuffs again, and moving my body just makes the rope drill deeper between my thighs, and I immediately halt my movement. Felix turns slowly back toward me and leans over me, face too close to mine.

‘’I said, that I’m taking a shower. I need you to be a good girl for me and wait for me here. Bound and desperate. You have two options. You can just wait completely still and deny your need to rub your soaking wet pussy against the rope. Or you can let your body take control and take advantage of the rope I so kindly gave you.’’

‘’Kindly?’’ I ask in disbelief.

‘’I’m a gentleman, after all.’’

I’m just about to shout at him. But I feel the rope only getting tighter as I tense my body in anger. So I just keep my mouth shut.

He leans in for a kiss once again, his hand travelling along my body. I instinctively move myself against him, not able to resist. And the rope rubs against me harder, but this time I don’t mind it. Once again, I just surrender to him way too easily. He withdraws and smiles at me.

‘’You know. I was going to win you over in a soft way. By being kind and charming. But you yourself brought this upon yourself. You woke something in me, something I’ve been trying my best to bury. And you are going to take responsibility for waking the beast in me. And there is not going back anymore.’’

He straightens himself and walks toward the balcony doors. He turns to look at me one last time before leaving. He tilts his head and looks at me, pleased with a smile.

‘’This definitely goes to my imaginary scrapbook. See you soon, pretty flower.’’

My breathing is heavy, and my chest is heaving as he leaves. What scrapbook? And how long is he going to be gone?

I try to calm myself, but it feels impossible when I feel the rope around my neck and around my… thing. I feel my tears rising again. I should have avoided him better. I knew better than to tangle myself with someone like him. No matter how charming and joyful he seemed. I knew he was evil. And still I ended up in this situation. I wanted to live a safe life. A quiet life. Earn my salvation that way.

But this?

This is just going to drag me deeper into the pit of sins. Not only because he is forcing me to do this. But also because I find myself slowly grinding against the rope.

I’m so going to hell for this.