Azure: Gunner

The biggest design flaw with a wedge is that you never fucking know where the portal will end up. Occasionally you might be able to see it the moment you step foot into the dungeon. Other times you could have to fight through 95% of the Wasted thing to reach it.

It might appear hidden away in a difficult to find tunnel, sitting on a tiny ledge halfway up a cliff, or right next to the nastiest monster in the entire shitty place. But it will appear, somewhere.

Every ten years or so the Researchers claim they’ve figured out a way to solve this problem. Truth is, they just want another ten years of funding so they can sit around in their basement and jerk each other off or whatever the fuck they do down there. If anyone ever asks you to test a ‘new’ wedge design, run like the motherfucking wind.

Or offer to ‘test’ it – right up their ass. That usually does the trick.

- Delver’s Guild Handbook, Section 10.6 – “Wedges and Dungeon Technology”

Thompson gave him a level look, the projection still showing our first fight with the flying monsters in the background. I clenched my damp hands into fists, trying to control my breathing. Tara was the first of us to break.

“Turn it off!” she shouted. “I don’t want to watch this bullshit again! It was completely unfair and horrible!”

“Unfair. Horrible.” Thompson repeated in a cold voice. “An interesting choice of words, Recruit Gleason.”

“What would you call it then?” the blonde Defender asked bitterly.

“I would call it a valuable lesson,” the Head Instructor said calmly. “One that you were fortunate to survive, yes, but all the more valuable for that.”

“Just what the fuck were we supposed to learn from that?!” Tara’s voice rose again, and I found myself nodding along with her.

“Resiliance. Determination. The sheer fucking will to do whatever it takes to survive, or should that prove impossible, the selflessness required to sacrifice for the sake of the team.”

My eyes widened as I heard the Head Instructor curse for what I thought was the first time. Thompson nodded approvingly at H’ruk, and I gave him my own thankful smile. The big orc had remained unusually reserved throughout, not even embellishing the tale of his fights. It was obvious that whatever he’d experienced while ‘dead’ was still affecting him.

Finally the projection dimmed and faded as Thompson mercifully ended it. I let out a long, slow exhale of relief, shoulders slumping.

“Very well, let’s discuss your grades. Remember, an ‘A’ is outstanding, ‘B’ is adequate, ‘C’ needs significant improvement, and ‘D’ is dead. And of course, ‘F’ is fuckingdead, as many students like to say.”

None of us chuckled at the weak joke and she continued.

“Only one of you earned an ‘A’ this time around. H’ruk, the prize I intended to give to the top performer was three eagles. In this case, I’m increasing it to five. I realize it feels hollow at the moment, so take it instead as a token of appreciation for displaying the courage expected of the very best Delvers. I promise you, both your father and the Black Razor would be immensely proud of your actions. Well done!”

H’ruk at least managed a weak smile at that, and I gave him a rousing cheer, which was taken up by the rest of the team. He quickly waved us off, but his smile seemed a bit stronger when we finally quieted down.

“Now, for the ‘B’s – Arlo, Tara, Zaire, Jayce, and Raylan. You all performed within the range of expectations, some a bit higher than others, but close enough to be grouped together.”

My heart sank as I contemplated what was coming next.

“G’hala, I’m giving you a ‘C’. You put yourself ahead of the team with your suggestion to Azure, and while you attempted to make up for it by carrying an injured teammate to safety, one could argue that you were simply the logical choice to do so.”

“I understand, Head Instructor,” the Shaman replied in a subdued tone, and then it was my turn.

I winced as the full force of Thompson’s gaze rested on me, and she sighed.

“Azure, I would be within my rights to give you an ‘F’. Should you go on to lead a Squad in the real world, you’ll hear innumerable dumb, self-centered, or simply short-sighted proposals from your teammates. It’s your job as the leader to put those aside, and you clearly failed to do so here.

“On the other hand, you also had the insight to determine where to go looking for Jayce, and you realized what H’ruk had to do to… escape and didn’t hesitate to order him to do it. You also demonstrated exceptional bladework for a ranged combatant, which kept you alive against significant odds. I’m going to call it a C-minus. Don’t let it happen again, or we’ll find out if someone else can do better in your place. Understood?”

I bit my tongue and nodded, my face hot. I wanted to argue, to stand up for myself, but Waste it if I didn’t agree with her.

If I hadn’t been off fucking around with G’hala, we could have made it out of the tunnels much earlier, and it might not have been so Wasted hot already!

“Head Instructor, it was also partially our fault that we were delayed. If we had defeated our foes, Azure and the others would not have had to back-track to find us,” Jayce pointed out.

“Technically true, Recruit, but misguided. I am assigning grades based primarily on decision-making, not combat ability. You did not decide to be overwhelmed by a superior force of monsters, while Recruits Azure and G’hala did decide to go off freelancing when they should have been focused on the team.”

This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

With that, Thompson turned and walked out of the room, leaving us there with Wolf. The Ranger sighed as he looked us over.

“I know you’re all still dealing with the emotional hang-over of what you just went through, so let me offer you some advice. Don’t do anything hasty! I’m sure at least a few of you have had some questions about what you’re doing here cross your mind in the last twenty-four hours. You just faced an exceptionally dangerous dungeon, after all.

“You need to know that it’s unlikely any of your following runs will be so… harrowing,” he concluded, taking a sip of water.

“What do you mean?” I asked, finally. “I thought you said the dungeon was, well, random. Couldn’t it be even worse next time?”

I was surprised when he took out his privacy ward and placed it on the table, activating it. He looked around the room seriously.

“I’m not sure what exactly Thompson is up to with this plan of hers,” he began, rubbing at his new prosthetic. “Unfortunately, I can’t stop her, either. So, I’m going to share something with you that I shouldn’t, and I need you to all promise that it doesn’t leave this room. No fucking around, I could get in serious trouble if Thompson finds out. Understood?”

I nodded, sitting forward eagerly. What the fuck did he know that we weren’t supposed to?

“Thompson – that is, the Head Instructor – ordered Dungeoneer Thompson to give you a split-start,” Wolf said quietly.

I gasped in shock as my teammates let out their own sounds of surprise.

“Yes,” our mentor continued grimly, “Dungeoneer Thompson can control the type of the dungeon for each run. He did not, as far as I know, directly or indirectly control the heat that almost killed you. In fact, I witnessed him struggling to counteract it, though I can’t be sure what exactly he accomplished.

“This is a secret that none of the students are supposed to learn – including Squad Excel. You will not tell them, is that clear?”

“Why not, Ranger Wolf?” asked Zaire, beating me to the question. The manaborn’s voice was unusually intense, the only sign of the anger I was sure he was feeling.

Wolf sighed. “Because foreknowledge begets expectations, which breed complacency. Long before any of us were alive, this was common knowledge for a time. It led to students spending considerable energy trying to discover what the instructors had in mind for them, rather than preparing for the unknown. Attempts were even made, particularly by trainees, to bribe the instructors into giving them easier or more favorable dungeons.

“Deaths resulted,” he added grimly. “The Guild keeps close track of casualty rates over time. Students trained during the period when this knowledge was freely available died during their first five-year term at a noticeably higher rate than before the secret was leaked. Once the knowledge was again suppressed, casualty rates returned to prior levels.”

I ran my hands through my still-purple hair and took a deep breath.

“Why are you telling us this?” I finally asked.

“Because I believe Thompson knows that she fucked up, even if she’s too proud to admit it,” he answered. “Officially, I’m supposed to reassure you by telling you that it’s highly unlikely to hit a split-start more than one in twenty runs. Off the record, she promised me no more split starts, and definitely no solo dungeons.

“I can’t stop you from choosing to walk away. Every student has the right to quit, even though you’ll still owe five years of dues. I’m asking you to give it at least one more chance,” he said, and I thought I detected a note of pleading in his normally gruff voice.

I rubbed my eyes, slumping in my seat. I was sure we were late for dinner at this point, and I was exhausted, despite sleeping away most of the day.

“I’m fucking wiped,” I admitted. “I don’t know about everyone else, but I need some time to think. Can we talk about this later?”

“Sure,” Wolf agreed. “We’re done for today, then. Just remember, this stays between us, alright?”

With muttered agreements, we left. There was hardly any conversation as we ate a quick dinner, then retreated to our rooms. I retrieved my gauntlet from the floor, grateful to be pain-free after the surgery, and stored it away in my Inventory. Then I sat down on my bed and contemplated.

“PAST, I want my item now.”

[Of course, Citizen! Here it is!]

The Essence I’d received for completing the dungeon had been enough for an item, but I hadn’t been in any state to care last night. Now, with a shimmer of Essence, something small appeared in the air before me.

“PAST, did you just give me a FUCKING ROCK for my item!?”

[It seems I must remind you yet again that I am not in charge of item rewards, Citizen! Additionally, I am not aware of a single substantiated report of a rock fucking anything!]

With an aggravated sigh, I reached out and grabbed the fucking rock out of the air. It was almost round, but unlike a perfectly spherical mod, it was a bit irregular, with a rough texture to it. I tried to Identify it, but failed.

Weird, it must be attuned to me already… Inspect!