(BL) Taming the Field Guide

Getting guiding didn’t help, but it did appear going there was the right call. Even the easy fifteen minute hand holding while she chatted to some of the other Guides who came into the room had felt nice. Sakura liked being around Guides.

They were normally soft, and kind, and gave her hugs that held no judgement or ill will. Sakura liked her Guides, but she didn’t want to date any of them. She also got to hear about how her dating profile got leaked. They were horrified that Sakura was going outside of the Guild and that there were so many people, Espers and Guides and even Civilians that would want to date her.

Sakura had laughed at that. Unlike most S Classes, she knew what kind of power she had over others. She’d been taught that lesson by none other than Kellen Woods, of course, so she knew that it was a severe breach of trust to go after someone who couldn’t really say no. Plus, she saw who some of her girls were.

Some were social climbers, and while Sakura didn’t dislike them for it, she didn’t exactly want those kinds of people holding her heart. Or her body. She wanted someone who wanted Sakura for Sakura, and unfortunately, Sakura came with some baggage that others who only wanted her for the status that came with her position and Class level, wouldn’t be able to handle that.

It also would help her handle Veronica dating and maybe even marrying if she dated outside of the Guild. Veronica had said that the person she was interested in was someone who she worked with. Sakura did not want to step on her toes before she’d even made a move, especially if her feelings were still new to her.

Plus, Sakura hadn’t been lying. When did she have time to do any dating? Especially right now? Sure, Captain Thatcher had left two S Classes behind to help, but they weren’t used to the city like Sakura was. In fact, today was the first day in a while that she had been solely in the Guild. She’d been making appearances across town, doing charitable acts, proving that there was still an S Class presence in town even with Captain Thatcher and Captain Sergei gone.

It was just her luck that this also happened to be the same day that she got a terrible headache that was morphing into a migraine. That, and Veronica was upset about her dating profile.

The Guides didn’t bring that part up, which told Sakura two things. She’d kept her cool while they had been chatting to her about it, or they were hiding Veronica’s reaction from Sakura. They would, of course, if they thought it would protect Veronica. Sakura understood that her people loved Veronica.

Sometimes, even more than they loved Sakura. She was fine with it, used to it, honestly. It would be strange if anyone loved her more than someone else.

Sakura felt the depression hit her and knew that she couldn’t let that persist. She could feel the anger from several people, even if they weren’t normally by her side when it got bad. She used Kellen a lot to help her get through these moments. Even if she rarely saw him over the last few years, and had rarely seen him when he’d been going through his training too.

She had a feeling that he had no idea how much his words when they were teens, before she’d awakened but after he had, had affected her.

He’d told her that it didn’t fucking matter what others thought of him, as long as they didn’t think he was a loser. He wasn’t, he never would be, and as long as he did things that made himself proud, that was enough. Not his parents’ opinions, not his siblings, not even his friends. He had then looked at Sakura, looked into her damn soul, and told her that the same could apply to her if she tried hard enough.

He hadn’t even hesitated back then to call her a girl when she’d been struggling with even coming out to herself. That was just who Kellen was. He might ask a blunt question once that might hurt, but that was only to get to the core of the issue. He had always been like that, and those words had helped Sakura get through a lot.

She’d never told him, doubted that he’d even remember, but it was his words that she turned to now. Kellen wouldn’t let this get to him. He’d probably just bluntly ask Veronica who she was in love with to rip the band aid off.

Imagining that helped Sakura. She left the Guiding Division and headed for the Healer next. That was the best call, the pain soothed, and the Healer asking how much she was taking, if she was taking it consistently, the times, blah blah blah.

All important stuff, but it ate into too much of the day. By the time she was leaving the Healer’s office, the day was practically over. Sakura pulled out her phone and texted Veronica that they were going to take an early day, while the sun was still out. She wasn’t feeling well, her medication making her a little moody and irate and she didn’t want to take it out on Veronica. She even apologised for her earlier outburst and wished Veronica a good night.

She even added a little heart at the end. Sakura’s own heart ached, but she decided to forgo the drinking tonight. She didn’t even have the energy to workout. She decided she was going to go home, order some takeout, and take her mind off of the shit that was going on in the world for a moment.

She’d earned a break.

Veronica got back to her quickly, wishing her a good night and hoping that she felt better in the morning. That was classic Veronica. Sakura clenched the phone in her hand for a moment too long before she wished her the same and went back to her lonely, too big home.

~

Sakura was in her comfy pajama bottoms, a pink spaghetti strap top that matched and her pink hair was in a messy bun. She knew that wearing it in a bun could make the headaches worse, but she was tired of having it on the back of her neck.

She was drinking fruit juice out of a wine glass to feel fancy while watching shitty t.v. on her large screen, a cozy blanket wrapped around her. She was waiting for her delivery, the guards down below having let her know that they had grabbed it already. It was only a matter of time before the knock came.

Then, it did, and Sakura didn’t even register that the breathing outside of the door was too familiar to be a guard delivering food. She’d already opened the door by the time that she realised and that was when she came tits to face with her favourite Lieutenant.

Veronica’s face was flushed, and so Sakura’s first worry was that she’d been drinking, but from a quick sniff, that wasn’t the case. She was red for a completely different reason, and for the life of her, Sakura couldn’t figure out why.

"Why didn’t you ask?" Veronica burst, her eyes watery still, and glowing red. She hadn’t changed out of her uniform, which only worried Sakura more. She’d dismissed her from work almost an hour ago, she should have gone home. Or at the very least, her own apartment to change and relax. Had she been working this whole time?

She looked tired, too, like Sakura. That made sense. She had been at her side this whole time, helping her, making her life easier.

Sakura stared at her blankly, holding open the door.

"Why didn’t I ask what?" Sakura asked and Veronica scowled. She shouldn’t be so cute when she scrunched up her face, but she was.

"Why didn’t you ask the other night? When the bitch died? Why didn’t you ask about who I was talking about? You normally do." Veronica demanded and Sakura jerked. She was speaking of when she’d asked her hypothetical question.

Yeah, Sakura normally joked about if Veronica was actually asking the question instead, but it had been a serious topic about romance. She normally had never asked about romance, and it was a sore spot for her. Why would Sakura ask? Then again, Veronica had every right to ask her about why she wasn’t being herself, but...after she’d already dismissed her for the day? After hours?

When she could have asked her in the days that had followed?

"Veronica, I’m not understanding why you’re asking this right now. Have you been working past when I told you to go home? That’s not healthy, Veronica. You should rest." Sakura said, worried for the woman. Veronica’s eyes flamed and the air around them grew hot again. Veronica was pissed, but for the life of her, Sakura couldn’t figure out why.

"I’ve not gone home because I’ve had a fucking shock to my whole system and I’ve been trying to comprehend what the hell is going on." Veronica said carefully, calmly, in a way that told Sakura she was two seconds away from exploding. Sakura was also in shock. Veronica practically never swore, so whatever this shock was had really shook her.

Sakura blinked. No, that couldn’t have been it, right? That was ridiculous. Why would Veronica be upset about that?

"You aren’t...shocked because of my dating profile, are you?" Sakura asked carefully and her eyes flared. Her cheeks, cute as damn buttons, flushed red in anger.

"Yes this is about your damn dating profile, Sye!" She yelled and Sakura stared at her. She couldn’t shake the shock that was filling her as she watched Veronica’s eyes spill over. These were angry tears, and she wiped them away with the back of her hand carelessly. "You said you were looking for a long-term relationship. You said you preferred Espers over Guides and Civilians, but you were open to anything. You were only looking for women, and you wanted to start a family." Veronica kept crying as Sakura stood there in shock. "Why would you do that? Why didn’t you ask about who I was asking about?" Veronica hiccupped and Sakura paled.

Oh shit. She was really crying. Really really crying. This had only happened a handful of times since Sakura had known her and it gutted her every time.

"Veronica, I-"

"Stop calling me Veronica!" She shouted, anger filling her voice. "Why won’t you call me V anymore?" She demanded and Sakura was shocked all over again. Had she stopped calling her V? She hadn’t even noticed. Sakura swallowed.

Maybe it was an unconscious decision to protect herself. It was clear that it was upsetting Veronica and Sakura had no excuse.

"I’m sorry. I...wasn’t even aware that I was doing it." She admitted. That didn’t seem to appease her, and it was only made worse by the guard showing up with Sakura’s food. They seemed pleased to see both Veronica and Sakura and Sakura pulled Veronica close, hiding her moment of weakness from a member of their Guild.

They didn’t need to see Veronica like this. This was Sakura’s duty as her Captain.

"Hey Boss! And Mini Boss!" She joked as she got closer. "Here’s your order. Hope you two have a good night and get some rest, alright? We’ve got it from here." She promised as Sakura plucked the food from her hands and carefully carried it into her kitchen with her powers. She had her hands full keeping the door open and keeping Veronica’s image intact. Sakura smiled.

"Sure, only one drink on the job allowed." Sakura warned and the guard laughed, waving her hand dismissively as she left.

When Sakura turned her gaze down to Veronica, the woman was quiet, but that didn’t mean her emotions had calmed. Sakura sighed.

"Are you okay discussing this inside?" Sakura asked gently and Veronica nodded, sniffing. Sakura smiled. Even in this moment she found the woman cute. Who was she kidding with that dating profile?