(BL) Taming the Field Guide

"It was almost nostalgic, you know?" Gunther said, a deep, dark humour to his voice as he spoke up after a moment of silence. Rhys glanced at him, and Gunther had dropped his other hand, his other still wrapped around Rhys’ on his knee. He was twisting the sheet between his fingers with his other, his face streaked with tears.

His eyes were distant, remembering something that Rhys wished he wouldn’t, that he wouldn’t think back on his time with his parents with even an ounce of kindness, but that was what made him and Gunther different.

Gunther still loved his parents.

Rhys knew part of it was the brainwashing, but it still twisted him up inside that they had been dead longer then Rhys and Gunther had been alive at this point. Yet, they still had a place in Gunther’s heart. Rhys wondered if that was the difference between S Class and A Class.

Rhys would gladly watch his parents sink into the gate over and over again, their hands reaching for him, begging him to help while he stood by, watching them fall helplessly. Rhys could still remember Gunther sobbing, saying he’d been unable to save his parents. Rhys had never told Gunther that he had stood by and done nothing.

He was sure that it didn’t need to be said, and would help no one. Especially years later, when Gunther was not in the best shape mentally, and the man who he had wanted to be his partner for years was going through a mental breakdown.

"What was?" Rhys asked, knowing he would not be happy with the answer. He also knew that Gunther wanted to say it.

"The way she kept telling me I was worthless." He said, then gave a little laugh. His eyes were still distant, still far away, and Rhys watched him carefully. "It was nostalgic because it did remind me of my parents, but I was surprised that I didn’t feel fulfilled when she said it. I just got mad." Gunther told him.

"Yeah?" Rhys asked, and Gunther nodded.

"I was just annoyed that she kept saying that about you and everyone else. I know you care about me. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have beat the shit out of me when I was being stupid or locked me up after and made me deal with my feelings. I just kept seeing flashes of Kellen, Hill and your face in my mind, all spitting mad. Kellen in particular looked like he was ready to reach through me and beat her up." Gunther gave a soft laugh, his expression growing a little wondrous as he turned to look at Rhys, truly look at him. "Is that what it’s like to have a loving family?" He asked.

It was a punch to the gut.

Rhys had no defense against it. Instead, he nodded, swallowing thickly as he squeezed his best friend’s hand.

"Yeah." Rhys confirmed, his voice raspy. "That is what it feels like." He couldn’t deny it. While he had gone through a few of the rough patches with the Woods family, and had noticed how they had put their relationship with each other before Kellen and his sister a few times, they also really loved their children.

How many times had he been quietly threatened when Kellen was completely unaware? Even now? Eleanor had pulled Rhys aside and told him that if he kept things from Kellen again, he would be hung upside down by his ears.

Rhys didn’t know how that would work, but he didn’t doubt that Kellen’s Mom would get it done.

Henry was scarier. He had stopped by and with a smile told Rhys that there were places on this earth that even an S Class like himself wouldn’t survive. All with a smile. Eleanor had the decency to look pissed when she spoke to him, while Henry made it seem like they were having a pleasant conversation.

It was no wonder where Kellen came from. Whatever gods who helped create this fucked up world better be looking out for whoever Gwen ended up with.

"Kellen’s a good guy." Gunther said and Rhys nodded. "Too good for you." Gunther said and Rhys huffed.

"I know that, but hey." Rhys said, protesting. Gunther chuckled.

"He’s going to do something to this Guild. I can feel it, and not in a negative way. I know you love this Guild, but I think Kellen was the missing piece." Rhys couldn’t deny it. Kellen was giving the Guild a heart. Rhys had built the outer shell, but Kellen was what was keeping this place beating. Giving it meaning.

Rhys could feel it in the halls. In the way that his Guild members carried themselves now that Kellen was here. His parents also played a role in that. Having elder members of this fucked up society who were still in love with each other, still working against the world that they were born into, it was...

It was good for everyone to see.

It gave them hope.

"I want Casper to be a part of that change." Rhys whispered, squeezing Gunther’s hand. "The same way I want you to be a part of it, too, Theo." They had dropped nicknames as soon as they had become Espers, but Rhys never forgot.

Theo’s eyes watered and he dropped his head. His shoulders shook.

"Fuck." He didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to. They stayed silent for long enough that someone knocked on the door. Both men turned towards it, seeing the tall man with an eye patch peering into the room. The very same man that they had been speaking about just a few minutes before.

Rhys felt his shoulders relax at the sight. Just the sight of him made him feel better. He knew that was partially because he was an S Class now, and just being in his presence felt like getting a full body shower of warmth and affection.

It didn’t really affect Rhys all that much since he had always felt that way around Kellen, even before he jumped Classes again.

He also knew that he was a possessive man, as much as he tried hard not to be. So even the fact that Kellen was out of his sight for any period of time felt like hell. He would shrink the man down and carry him around in his pocket if he could. He also knew that would destroy the Kellen that he loved.

So, Rhys kept these thoughts to a minimum, and enjoyed the man for who he was. Even if he felt more anxious, less secure, and crazier whenever Kellen wasn’t at this side. Even if he knew that Kellen was just as possessive as Rhys was.

A clear example was when Kellen opened the door carefully and scanned the room. That was a normal behaviour, born from the Field Guide nature of the man. What wasn’t from his natural nature was the way he froze slightly at the sight of Rhys and Theo were holding hands.

Rhys caught the slight hesitation, felt how Kellen’s normally strictly controlled powers fluctuated slightly, and then calmed. It was a balm to Rhys’ soul.

Rhys smiled at Kellen, not hiding his tears even as Theo tried to compose himself.

"Hi, Love. Thank you for giving us some space." Rhys told him as Kellen approached. Kellen was frowning, his hand reaching out to wipe some of the tears away with his thumb.

"You were crying." Kellen muttered softly and Theo froze. He might not be used to Kellen as an S Class, but he was used to Rhys.

"I’m sorry." Theo apologised quickly, but that only made Kellen frown more. That was what made Kellen as a S Class unpredictable.

They had no practise with a S Class Guide. They weren’t the same as Rhys, Sakura, or Sergei. They were harder to manage because if it had been Sergei or Rhys, the apology would have worked to calm him down.

But it seemed to only annoy Kellen more.

"Why are you apologising? You’ve also been crying." Kellen muttered, sounding more annoyed. He moved as if to reach out with his other hand to wipe Theo’s tears too, and then froze when he realised his hand was wrapped up in a sling. He sighed, closing his eyes.

Rhys wanted to smother the annoyed man in kisses. He was so unbearably cute to Rhys he just didn’t know what to do with the man.

"I hate this." Kellen muttered. "I am going to be so damn happy when I finally have the use of both of my hands again." Kellen said. Theo watched Kellen, and then chuckled.

"What about your eye? What would have happened if you lost your hand, Kellen?" He asked and Kellen sighed.

"Well, if I had lost my hand, I would have already been working on getting a new one, like Brent’s. I wouldn’t have to deal with all the bullshit that was lingering in my body because of the damn gate." Kellen told him and Theo seemed a bit surprised by the response.

Rhys didn’t like it, but Kellen was allowed to feel his feelings. He wouldn’t police them, because that meant he wouldn’t be the Kellen that he liked. He would be a shell of a Guide, not Kellen Woods.

It was a mantra that Rhys chanted to himself often to keep his stupid Esper tendencies at bay.

"The eye? I don’t really care. I can adapt to that." Kellen said. "If it never comes back, I can deal with that. It feels like the eyesight in my other eye has gotten better, anyways." Kellen told them. Rhys wanted to grab the man and squeeze him. He shouldn’t be considering these kinds of things, but this was his Kellen. His.

"Huh. I had a similar thought about if I had lost my arm. I was thinking about how cool it would be to make a hand out of water when I needed to." Theo said and Kellen’s eyes widened, before he grinned.

"What’s stopping you now that you have both hands? You could still do it, and use your hand as a guide." Kellen suggested, and Rhys watched as the two people he cared about chatted about something traumatic that they had both been through, and the positives that they were deriving from that.

It hurt that they had to go through something so traumatic, but now that Rhys was more stable, he could be there for both of them. For all of them. He would be the supportive force that he hadn’t had as a child, and that others like him hadn’t had.

The Saturn Guild could make it through this.