Judge of the Song Dynasty

“Yes, yes, yes, you’re domineering, domineering at shoveling dung. It really stinks to death. Little Ma, let’s go!”

The humiliated and furious Cao Dongdong directly pushed Ma Xiaoyi into the carriage, then departed by horse-drawn cart.

Zhang Fei, however, stood in place holding that one tael of silver, squinting his eyes and gazing up at the azure sky.

After the carriage had gone far away, Tao Yonghan tremblingly approached Zhang Fei, his lips quivering, “Zhang San. Zhang San. Was that… was that Young Master Cao?”

Zhang Fei seemed not to have heard, looking up with his eyes slightly closed, murmuring to himself: “I understand! I understand!”

Tao Yonghan asked puzzledly: “Understand what?”

Zhang Fei opened his eyes, lowered his head, looked at Tao Yonghan, and smiled: “When Heaven is about to confer a great responsibility on such a person, it first tests his resolve, exhausts his muscles and bones, starves his body, impoverishes his circumstances, and confounds his undertakings. In this way it stimulates his mind, hardens his nature, and develops his weak points.”

Tao Yonghan stared blankly at Zhang Fei.

Zhang Fei tossed the silver in his hand to Tao Yonghan, “Take this and go have some tea.”

Tao Yonghan frantically caught the silver, his eyes lighting up, “This silver… is for me?” Zhang Fei nodded and smiled, “Let’s go!”

“Where to?”

“To shovel dung.”

“…?”

Zhang Fei took his shovel and came to that pile of horse dung, briskly shoveling it into the cart.

They continued forward, continued shoveling.

But it seemed like it could never be finished.

“Huff, huff… this really is physical labor!”

Zhang Fei leaned on his shovel, panting while asking Tao Yonghan: “I say, Old Tao, why is there so much dung? Is someone deliberately trying to mess with us?”

Tao Yonghan took the cloth from around his neck and wiped the sweat from his forehead, “You don’t see how many carriages there are in our Bianjing. It’s like this every day. When some imperial relatives and nobles go out, they first send servants to sweep the streets clean.”

Zhang Fei asked again: “If we patrol constables are all doing this work, then who catches thieves and handles disputes?”

Tao Yonghan immediately replied: “Only newcomers do this work. Generally, street cleaning is done by the Street Office under our jurisdiction.”

Zhang Fei nodded.

Suddenly someone said: “Oh! Isn’t this the great pen-in-cap Zhang San? How did you change careers to shoveling dung here?”

Zhang Fei turned his head to look and saw several young gentlemen walking this way. He said to Tao Yonghan: “Let’s go.”

“Ah!”

Tao Yonghan saw that the approaching men had ill intentions, his expression showing some panic as he pushed the small cart forward with Zhang Fei.

Seeing Zhang Fei about to leave, those young gentlemen still wouldn’t let it go and chased after them, shouting: “Come and see! Everyone come and see! Look what our Bianjing’s number one pen-in-cap is doing!”

His few shouts immediately attracted many people.

“Oh! It really is the great pen-in-cap Zhang San. How is he shoveling dung here?”

“This pen-in-cap is also a lowly person who must perform corvee service.”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, I have to say, these clothes fit much better than that green robe and small cap.”

“I say, Zhang San, this young master also thinks you have great prospects in this line of work!”

“Haha!”

Although Zhang Fei hadn’t handled an extremely large number of lawsuits, he had certainly offended quite a few people. Many large landowners had to hand over considerable money because of him.

He had also caused many high officials and nobles to lose face completely.

This was truly cutting pain.

Now seeing him reduced to such circumstances, they absolutely had to watch with relish.

In a short while, they were surrounded so tightly that not even water could leak through.

Old Tao had worked for so many years but had never been watched like this before. His face turned red.

What was so interesting about shoveling dung?

Zhang Fei maintained a smile throughout, methodically shoveling pile after pile of dung into the dung cart. Under Tao Yonghan’s guidance, his technique became increasingly skillful.

“What’s going on here?”

“Why are so many people gathered around?”

Suddenly two rather authoritative voices were heard.

The crowd turned to look and quickly made way.

Many young gentlemen and scholars cupped their hands in salute.

“This junior pays respects to Academician Sima and Chancellor Lu.”

The arrivals were none other than Sima Guang and Lu Gongzhu.

Sima Guang looked left and right, frowning: “Are you all so idle? Gathering here to watch someone shovel dung? Why don’t you go help out instead?”

Those young men immediately scattered like birds and beasts.

After dismissing the crowd, Sima Guang stepped forward and said to Zhang Fei: “Zhang San, who assigned you to do this work?”

Zhang Fei shook his head and replied: “I’m not sure either. They assigned me to be a patrol constable.”

Lu Gongzhu looked at Zhang Fei, and inwardly felt a trace of vengeful satisfaction. So you too have such a day, you brat. He chuckled: “A patrol constable shouldn’t be shoveling manure in the streets. You must have offended someone, so they punished you with this work.”

Zhang Fei grinned: “It wouldn’t be Prefect Lu, no, Accounting Chancellor Lu who arranged this, would it?”

Lu Gongzhu laughed heartily: “Unfortunately I’ve left Kaifeng Prefecture, so I don’t have that opportunity. Otherwise, I would have made you clean out the sewers.”

Zhang Fei quickly said: “Academician Sima, you heard that – the Accounting Chancellor wants to settle personal scores using his official position.”

“Enough! Enough! Stop your nonsense.”

Sima Guang glared at him: “I’ll go speak on your behalf. The government assigned you to service because you have special talents – how can they make you do this work?”

“Don’t!”

Zhang Fei hurriedly said: “Academician Sima, please don’t. I really like this work now.”

Both Sima Guang and Lu Gongzhu were stunned.

“What did you say?”

“This uniform is eye-catching, and everyone says it suits my temperament. I feel I can accomplish great things in this position.” Zhang Fei spoke with anticipation.

Lu Gongzhu was dumbfounded: “Zhang San, have you suffered some kind of shock?”

Sima Guang also said: “Yes! Zhang San, you’re just speaking out of anger, aren’t you?”

Zhang Fei smiled: “Thank you both for your concern. I truly have come to love this job. I’ve decided to strive for advancement in this position, give my all, and achieve some real accomplishments.”

This…

Lu Gongzhu and Sima Guang looked at each other in bewilderment.

Zhang Fei cupped his hands in salute again: “I’ll go back to work now. Farewell, farewell.”

Even after Zhang Fei had left, Sima Guang and Lu Gongzhu still hadn’t recovered their senses.

After another moment, Lu Gongzhu suddenly said to Sima Guang: “Sima Guang! Your arrangement – doesn’t it have some other purpose?”

He was one of the few who knew the true situation, so he thought Sima Guang’s actions concealed some deeper scheme.

Sima Guang said in a low voice: “I just wanted to give that brat a hard time. I really had no other intention.”

“This is bad! Very bad!” Lu Gongzhu kept shaking his head.

Sima Guang asked: “What’s bad about it?”

Lu Gongzhu said: “Don’t you understand this brat? He’s vindictive and will repay every slight. That attitude he just showed definitely means he’s thought of some dirty trick. We need to be on guard!”

Sima Guang said: “A patrol constable with no power or influence – what dirty tricks could he possibly pull?”

“That I don’t know.” Lu Gongzhu shook his head: “But I have a bad feeling about this.”

…

“Zhang San, Academician Sima was looking out for you like that – why did you still refuse?”

Tao Yonghan pushed his cart, asking Zhang Fei with a curious expression.

Zhang Fei chuckled twice: “I’ve already been humiliated. If I leave now, wouldn’t that make me a deserter who was humiliated for nothing? Even if I’m going to leave, they’ll have to carry me out in a sedan chair with eight carriers.”

Tao Yonghan listened with a completely bewildered expression.

He couldn’t understand at all!

Suddenly they heard sounds of an argument ahead.

“You little servant, how dare you be so blind as to bump into this young master!”

“You clearly pushed me!”

“Hey! You servant dare to talk back!”

Zhang Fei looked up and saw at the corner ahead, a richly dressed young gentleman was grabbing a blue-capped servant boy of fifteen or sixteen years, raising his hand to strike.

“Stop!”

He quickly shouted, then holding his manure shovel, rushed over.

“Zhang San! Zhang San!” Tao Yonghan couldn’t stop him with his calls and could only hide far away.

The young gentleman turned his head to look: “Who the heck are you?”

Zhang Fei held his head high: “I am Patrol Constable Zhang San.”

“Zhang San?”

The young gentleman couldn’t help but look Zhang Fei up and down, asking somewhat nervously: “Pen-in-cap Zhang San?”

Zhang Fei said: “I am currently serving the state.”

“You’re in service now?” the young gentleman asked.

Zhang Fei nodded.

So he’s just a stinking servant. The young gentleman immediately felt relieved and pushed the servant boy directly toward Zhang Fei: “You’ve come at just the right time. This servant was blind and bumped into me, dirtying my robes. What do you say should be done?”

As he spoke, he pointed to his waist.

Zhang Fei supported the servant boy with both hands, then turned to look, seeing a large wet stain on the young gentleman’s waist extending to his buttocks.

The servant boy exclaimed indignantly: “You clearly pushed me! If you hadn’t pushed me, I wouldn’t have fallen, and I wouldn’t have dirtied your robes. Now my wine and dishes are all gone.”

As he spoke, tears streamed down his face.

Zhang Fei looked down again and saw a large overturned wooden basket on the ground, with seven or eight hot dishes and wine scattered all over the place.

By his estimate, this meal was worth at least several hundred coins.

This servant boy was definitely the equivalent of today’s delivery boy.

Just like in later times, the food delivery industry in the Northern Song was highly developed. This was because in Bianjing, from high officials and nobles down to peddlers and laborers, no one liked to cook at home – they either went to restaurants or ordered takeout.

The delivery industry was very advanced. Large restaurants had their own delivery teams, and there were also people who specialized in delivery work.

The young gentleman glared angrily at the servant boy: “You lowly commoner, when you see this young master, don’t you know to yield the way? How dare you slander me – are you tired of living?”

The servant boy said grievously: “I was carrying so many things, I didn’t see you. But if you hadn’t pushed me, my wine wouldn’t have spilled on you.”

After listening to their argument, Zhang Fei roughly understood the situation and asked: “Young master, what is your name?”

The young gentleman replied: “This young master’s surname is Gu. The current Director of the Imperial Treasury is my grandfather.”

He’s this arrogant? Zhang Fei cupped his hands respectfully: “So it’s Young Master Gu, my respects. How would Young Master Gu like to handle this matter?”

Young Master Gu snorted: “My robes are worth two thousand seven hundred coins. You make him compensate me three thousand coins and apologize, then I won’t pursue this matter further.”

When the servant boy heard this, his face turned pale with fright. He was just a delivery boy – where would he get that kind of money? Making him pay three thousand coins was like asking for his life. He said agitatedly: “You pushed me! Why should I compensate you? If anyone should pay compensation, it should be you paying for my wine and dishes.”

Zhang Fei said: “Since you both accuse the other of being at fault and neither is willing to compromise, we can only go to the District Court to settle this dispute.”

When Young Master Gu heard this, he frowned and asked: “Didn’t you say you weren’t a pen-in-cap anymore?”

Zhang Fei replied: “But I’m a patrol constable. Resolving street disputes is my duty. I’m just taking you to the District Court – I won’t be representing either of you in court.”

As long as you don’t get involved, that’s fine. Young Master Gu snorted: “Fine, let’s go to court. I’ve nothing else to do today anyway. I must properly teach this blind lowlife a lesson.”

When he said “lowlife,” he glanced at Zhang Fei.

Zhang Fei pretended not to notice and looked at the servant boy.

The servant boy’s tears were streaming down as he cried out in despair: “Fine, let’s go to court! I’ve nothing to lose anyway. I can’t afford to pay, and I’ll get beaten when I go back regardless.”

Three strings of coins would be a complete disaster for a delivery boy like him.

Zhang Fei tossed his head: “Then let’s go.”

Young Master Gu saw his arrogant attitude – not even saying “please” – and couldn’t help saying: “Zhang San, you’re just a lowly patrol constable. How dare you show such attitude toward this young master? Didn’t your parents teach you manners?”

Zhang Fei replied: “This is just my attitude. If you don’t like it, go file a complaint against me! My badge number is cough cough!”

He brushed some dandruff off his shoulder.

“Fine, we’ll see about this.”

Young Master Gu snorted and strode forward.

Zhang Fei gently patted the servant boy’s shoulder: “Don’t be afraid. I guarantee I’ll help you get back the money for your wine and dishes.”

The servant boy looked at Zhang Fei, seeming to gain great encouragement, and nodded repeatedly.

At this moment, Tao Yonghan came over pushing a cart: “Oh my! Zhang San, let’s not get involved in this trouble.”

Zhang Fei frowned: “What do you mean getting involved? Isn’t this our duty?”

Tao Yonghan said: “You’re just a newcomer with no experience. This matter could be handled by someone else.”

Zhang Fei replied: “I’m an old hand now.”

Just as they arrived at the District Court, he happened to see two familiar faces coming out the door.

They were both his old adversaries: Li Lei and Fan Chunren.

Zhang Fei was stunned. “How did those two end up together?”

He saw Li Lei cupping his hands toward Fan Chunren: “Mr. Fan, thank you for going easy on me.”[1]

Fan Chunren returned the courtesy with cupped hands, his expression extremely awkward.

After Li Lei left, Fan Chunren sighed and looked up, saying in surprise: “Zhang San?”

“Remonstrator Fan?”

Zhang Fei walked over. “Remonstrator Fan, what are you doing here?”

Fan Chunren said awkwardly: “I’m providing legal aid here.”

“Legal aid?”

“Ahem, and what brings you here?”

“Today is my first day of corvee service. I’m working as a patrol constable in this area.”

The two men couldn’t help but stare at each other.

Thinking back just a few days ago, they had both been riding high at Kaifeng Prefecture, but now…

[1] “Thank you for going easy on me” is what one would say to be polite when one has won a victory against someone. This means that Fan Chunren had just lost a case against Li Lei.