Chapter 272: Experiencing Life
After Zhang Fei learned of his assigned position, he roughly understood what was happening. The other party wasn’t trying to destroy him, but rather to teach him a lesson.
Because when they wanted to destroy a runner, they would typically assign him to guard or escort goods and valuables for which he would be responsible – these were the most deadly positions where the slightest mistake would basically mean financial ruin and enslavement.
This led many common people to prefer self-mutilation rather than serve in such roles.
Relatively speaking, the patrol constable position was just more tiring – what major mistakes could one make? It wouldn’t be that serious.
Clearly, they just wanted to give him a hard time.
Running away was definitely impossible, so rather than complain, he might as well enjoy it.
“Hey, hey, hey, what are you touching? Stop touching! Did you hear me? What are you trying to do, you old geezer?”
Zhang Fei raised both hands high, nervously shouting at the old man who was bent over at his waist.
The old face suddenly looked up from his waist, “I’m just helping you take measurements, young man. What’s your name?”
Zhang Fei said glumly, “Just measure then, don’t touch randomly!” “How can I measure without touching?”
With that, the old man straightened up, “Alright, that’ll be ten strings total.”
“What?”
Zhang Fei exclaimed in shock, “I’m being forced into service, and I still have to pay for the uniform?”
“Otherwise, should I pay?”
“But it shouldn’t cost ten strings! Is this uniform inlaid with gold?”
“These are the rules.”
“No way! You just felt around for so long – don’t you know how much money I have on me?”
“You can have someone send it over later. After today, there’ll be interest charges.”
“Interest charges too?”
“What’s wrong? Don’t you pay interest when you borrow money?”
“Fine, fine, fine. I’ll have someone send it over later. I’m leaving.”
Upon exiting the government office, Zhang Fei turned back and spat.
Just three days later, the uniform was delivered to his home.
So fast?
Zhang Fei even suspected they might have given him a used one.
In the morning.
Zhang Fei sat before a bronze mirror, occasionally glancing through it at Gao Wenyin, who was combing his hair behind him, and smiled, “Wife, if you have something to say, don’t hold it in. Without your nagging, it feels quite boring.”
Gao Wenyin looked at Zhang Fei in the bronze mirror with slight resentment and murmured, “Zhang San, although Lord Xu is around to help, you must still be extremely careful in everything. Don’t try to show off, lest you bring trouble upon yourself. This runner position is still very dangerous after all.”
Zhang Fei nodded solemnly, “I will keep my wife’s earnest teachings in my heart and never dare forget them.”
Gao Wenyin pursed her lips and secretly rolled her eyes at him, “With your personality, I’m afraid even if you remember, you won’t act accordingly.”
Zhang Fei looked at Gao Wenyin in surprise, “My wife truly understands me better and better.”
Gao Wenyin said nothing more, tied on his head wrap, and said, “Done!”
Zhang Fei immediately stood up and spread his arms.
Gao Wenyin took a gray uniform with white and black trim and helped Zhang Fei put it on, then carefully adjusted it.
“A handsome man looks good in anything. Even this runner’s outfit gives me a dashing and elegant feeling when I wear it.”
Zhang Fei posed before the bronze mirror for quite a while, then said to Gao Wenyin, “Wife, don’t you think so?”
Gao Wenyin pursed her lips and nodded slightly.
“Alright!”
Zhang Fei brushed his forehead, “Your husband is off. Eh? Wife, would you like to give me an encouraging hug?”
Gao Wenyin was startled, “What is an encouraging hug?”
“Like this.”
Zhang Fei put one arm around Gao Wenyin’s waist, gently drew her into his embrace, and very gentlemanly – no, very gallantly – gave her a cheek-to-cheek embrace.
Gao Wenyin’s delicate body trembled, feeling her cheeks burning. Just as she was about to pull away, Zhang Fei had already released her on his own.
She saw him looking at her with concern, “Wife, your face is so hot. Are you ill?”
Gao Wenyin shook her head vigorously.
Zhang Fei asked again, “Then why is your face so red?”
Seeing the laughter hidden in his eyes, Gao Wenyin couldn’t help but stamp her foot, “It’s all because of you.”
Zhang Fei laughed heartily and went out the door.
Gao Wenyin pouted, “This Zhang San is becoming more and more smooth-tongued.”
Yet she didn’t notice that the worry in her heart had lessened by seventy percent.
Coming to the main hall, he saw Xu Zhiqian standing gracefully in the center, wearing a purple long dress. When she noticed his arrival, she couldn’t help but look him over and said with a smile, “It fits quite well!”
Zhang Fei’s expression froze, “Beautiful lady, please mind your words. I’m a patrol constable now.”
Xu Zhiqian smiled charmingly, “So what if you’re a patrol constable?”
Zhang Fei walked over, leaned his head close, and whispered in her ear, “Be careful I don’t patrol into your boudoir tonight.”
“You!”
She had only said one word when her lips seemed to be touched by something. Before she could react, she saw that Zhang Fei had already run out of the hall, calling back, “Don’t lock your door tonight.”
“Scoundrel, you…”
Halfway through her words, Xu Zhiqian felt inexplicably guilty and looked around nervously.
This capital of Bianjing had long since broken away from the ward system, with shops opening directly onto the streets in countless numbers. Entertainment quarters and inns were everywhere, with mansions and residences built closely together without gaps.
Most importantly, there was no curfew.
Fire was the greatest threat in the capital. During the reign of the Second Emperor, the patrol stations were established – the first formally organized professional fire brigade in history.
It showed that the ancients weren’t fools. As society developed to a certain level, many things would naturally emerge without time travelers having to worry about them.
Moreover, these patrol stations were very densely distributed. Every three hundred paces or so in each ward and alley, there was a patrol station with five constables.
Later, they gradually became responsible for traffic and public security in the city as well.
Zhang Fei, serving as a specialist, was assigned to the Right District headquarters.
“Brother San, we’ve arrived.”
It must be said that Zhang Fei had actually arrived here by carriage to work as a patrol constable.
Getting down from the carriage, he saw that the headquarters was located in the busiest part of Horse Market Street, with two large willow trees in front of the gate and a small river flowing between them.
Crossing a small bridge, since there was no guard at the main gate, he walked straight in.
Entering the courtyard, he saw five or six seven-foot-tall men, bare-chested, each holding exercise stones and working out.
“Wow, eight-pack abs? Are they painted on?”
Zhang Fei stared at those gleaming abdominal muscles with envy, jealousy, and resentment. “Even the Imperial Guards I’ve seen weren’t this impressive!”
The fire brigade of the capital was absolutely elite among elites. While the Song court might have been somewhat lax with regular soldiers, every member of the formally organized fire brigade was very strictly selected, and their treatment was extremely generous.
They might owe wages to anyone else, but never to the fire brigade.
Because this concerned the safety of the entire capital, no one in this military unit, from top to bottom, dared to be careless.
The courtyard was also filled with various firefighting equipment: large and small water carts, buckets, ladders, large hooks, thick ropes, axes, water bags, and so forth.
“Who are you?”
At this moment, a clerk came out from inside the building.
“Patrol Constable Zhang Fei, reporting for duty.”
Zhang Fei didn’t know if he was infected by the atmosphere, but he actually stood at attention.
“Oh, the pen-in-cap Zhang San.”
The clerk nodded.
As soon as these words were spoken, all the muscular men in the courtyard simultaneously put down their exercise stones and looked Zhang Fei over.
Zhang Fei smiled awkwardly, “Hello everyone. I’m new here, so I hope you’ll all take good care of me.”
The muscular men all ignored him and went back to their exercises.
Having been snubbed, Zhang Fei thought to himself, “Next time you need me to handle a lawsuit, I won’t give you any discount either.”
The clerk suddenly looked around and shouted, “Old Tao! Old Tao!”
“Coming! Coming!”
After hearing several responses, a greasy middle-aged man with sparse hair and a face full of stubble emerged from behind the building, still fastening his belt as he hurried over.
The clerk pointed at Zhang Fei, “This kid’s new. I’m leaving him to you.”
“Alright! I got it.”
After the clerk finished speaking, he went back inside the building.
Zhang Fei was stunned. They won’t even let me through the door?
The middle-aged man came up to Zhang Fei, “What’s your name?”
Zhang Fei said, “Zhang Fei.”
The man scratched his exposed scalp, “That name sounds somewhat familiar.”
Zhang Fei added, “Zhang San.”
“Oh, the pen-in-cap Zhang San.” The man immediately pointed at Zhang Fei.
“That’s right.”
“How’d you end up here?”
“I got lost.”
“…”
The man grinned and laughed heartily, “Worthy of being a pen-in-cap – even your words are interesting. I’m called Tao Yonghan, just call me Old Tao.”
Tao Yonghan continued, “Let’s go, I’ll take you to get the tools. It’s about time – we should head out on the streets.”
“Alright!”
Zhang Fei was still confused and followed Tao Yonghan dumbly into a small room.
“Here.”
“Isn’t this a shovel?”
Zhang Fei took it and gestured with it, “Do we patrol constables use this for law enforcement?”
“Yes.”
Tao Yonghan himself pushed a small wooden cart, “Let’s go.”
“Oh.”
Zhang Fei nodded, thinking to himself that starting work was rather casual.
Just as the two of them stepped outside, they saw a middle-aged man in official robes coming out of the building.
“Boss, why didn’t you meet with him?” the clerk asked curiously.
The middle-aged man snorted, “That kid is no good. When the higher-ups said they were assigning him here, I was absolutely unwilling. Just let him work with Old Tao – we’ll all stay out of it.”
Meanwhile, Zhang Fei came outside and couldn’t help asking, “Old Tao, I see other patrol constables carrying swords and clubs – nobody carries shovels!”
Tao Yonghan said, “Newcomers use shovels.”
Zhang Fei asked curiously, “What’s the reasoning behind that?”
“You’ll find out soon enough.”
As soon as he finished speaking, Tao Yonghan’s eyes suddenly lit up, “Come, come, I’ll teach you how to use this shovel.”
He quickly walked forward.
Zhang Fei immediately followed, and saw Tao Yonghan approach a pile of cow dung. He immediately set down the cart and tossed his head, “Shovel it in.”
“…?”
Zhang Fei was dumbfounded.
Tao Yonghan said, “Don’t just stand there stupidly – hurry up and shovel!”
Zhang Fei said, “Old Tao, aren’t you mistaken? Aren’t we patrol constables supposed to manage traffic? This work…!”
Tao Yonghan said, “Let me ask you – does this cow dung interfere with pedestrians traveling?”
“Uh, yes.”
“Then it falls under traffic management,” Tao Yonghan said.
Zhang Fei, a distinguished pen-in-cap, found himself unable to refute this logic.
Tao Yonghan continued, “Don’t stand there in a daze – hurry up and get to work.”
Those bastards are actually doing this to me! Zhang Fei turned around, took a deep breath, and with several scoops of the shovel, finally managed to clean up the cow dung.
“Phew!”
Zhang Fei let out a long sigh of relief, just as a horse carriage passed by.
Plop!
A lump of horse manure dropped down, still steaming hot.
“Damn it!”
Zhang Fei could no longer endure it. He threw down the shovel, rushed forward, and shouted, “Stop the carriage! Stop right now!”
Tao Yonghan was scared out of his wits – anyone riding in a carriage in the capital was definitely no small figure!
The carriage slowly stopped. Zhang Fei walked up to it, and just as the curtain was lifted, two young men emerged from inside.
“Brother San!”
“Little Ma? Young Master Cao?”
Inside the carriage were none other than Ma Xiaoyi and Cao Dongdong.
“Brother San, what are you doing here?”
Ma Xiaoyi asked.
“Uh, experiencing life,” Zhang Fei said sheepishly.
Cao Dongdong chuckled, “Just say you’re doing runner duty – what’s this about experiencing life?”
“You know, so why ask?”
Zhang Fei glared at him, then asked, “What are you two doing here?”
Ma Xiaoyi said, “I heard from my brother that you were coming to do service duty, so I came with him to take a look. Brother San, are you on patrol?”
Zhang Fei nodded.
Ma Xiaoyi asked again, “Brother San, is being a patrol constable fun?”
Zhang Fei blinked, thinking to himself that this brat usually had nothing to do – why not trick him into being a companion? “It’s not bad, quite prestigious. Pedestrians on the road all have to bow to me.”
Cao Dongdong quickly said, “Little Ma, don’t be fooled. This patrol constable is just a street sweeper – if it’s not shoveling dung, it’s cleaning sewers. What’s prestigious about that?”
Wow, he knows everything! Zhang Fei blinked sheepishly, then suddenly had an idea, “Young Master Cao, is this carriage yours?”
“It’s mine.”
“Get out, get out.”
“What for?”
Cao Dongdong jumped down from the carriage.
Zhang Fei pulled out a small brush and a small booklet from his chest, “You’re suspected of violating Article 37 of traffic regulations – defecating in public. Fine: one tael of silver.”
Cao Dongdong exclaimed indignantly, “You’re the one defecating in public.”
Zhang Fei pointed at the fine horse beside them, “Your horse.”
Cao Dongdong snorted, “What does this horse’s defecation have to do with me?”
Zhang Fei said with complete seriousness, “Young Master, you now have only two choices: either pay the fine, or go home and wait to be prosecuted.”
Cao Dongdong said, “Zhang San, stop trying to intimidate people here. I grew up in the Three Military Divisions – I know exactly what these military patrol posts do. You, go shovel that horse manure.”
He pointed at Tao Yonghan, who was trembling over there.
Zhang Fei said, “Do you know why the court sent me to serve here? It’s to use my legal talents to discipline unruly people like you. If you don’t believe it, try walking away.”
“This young master refuses to believe in your nonsense.”
Cao Dongdong jumped back onto the carriage and said haughtily, “Let’s go.”
Zhang Fei said, “Go ahead then. As your brother, I suppose I won’t deliver the complaint document to Grand Empress Dowager Cao.”
“Taozi, pay up.”
Cao Dongdong glared furiously at Zhang Fei, “Just you wait – I will go back and look up this Article 37 of traffic regulations.”
Ma Xiaoyi looked at him with complete admiration, “Brother San, you’re really domineering as a patrol constable.”