Cultivating in Honkai!

The Void Refinement Realm breakthrough starts with two interchangeable processes. One is to breach the spiritual qi limit inside one’s body. The other is to sever one’s karma. The latter part is further divided into two options.

One is to retain one’s causality. They would have to form an isolated “network” that invalidates any external tampering attempt to their “karma”. In turn, the difficulty of breakthroughs increases. They would have to carry these causalities during the breakthrough, making them more susceptible to the Heart Demon Tribulation.

The other option is to completely cut off one’s karma. One does not need to create an isolated network, nor did they need to face the increased difficulty in breaking through. All they have to do is to cut off everything connected to them completely. This act signified self-isolation. The causality cut during this process can never be reversed. The people on the other end of these cut casualties would completely forget about the existence of the said cultivator, be it in the past, present, and future.

Since the said cultivator never existed, they would not have any karma, satisfying the “karmaless” trait of the Void Refinement Realm. They would face a rise in one’s “status”, becoming qualified to comprehend the universe’s three thousand Daos.

One is an easy way out; the other holds the best of both sides in exchange for facing greater dangers.

This consideration never existed for Griseo.

She…

She wanted to disappear once.

Right after waking up from her eternal samsara, Griseo found herself in a strange place. Her surroundings seemed strange. She was also surrounded by strangers, none of which she knew. All that was on her mind before was the “day” she relived over and over again.

Facing this unknown world with unknown outcomes, Griseo was scared. She did not know who to look out for. Heck, she didn’t even know where she was. It wasn’t until Fu Hua arrived did she barely get out of that shaky state. Seeing someone familiar was a million times better than talking with strangers. Although a long time had passed, Griseo was a child at that moment.

Then…

She met Shi Tian.

He fascinated her… and pushed her deeper into the abyss. She wanted to manifest his unchanging nature so much she did so many things—too many to count. Every one of them would earn her a nice scolding. All of them combined might place her at a disciplinary action. A high-level cultivator going rogue was the least everyone wanted to see.

In the end, Griseo almost committed to cutting off her causality. She saw no meaning in existing in this world. Everyone close to her was dead.

‘Mom… Dad…’

Her father, Ato, was a MANTIS who died under the hands of the ninth Herrscher. Her mother, Blanca, died in the eight major eruption. Mobius was forced to perform the MANTIS surgery on Griseo for her to live. This fully awakened her special power related to colors. There was also Kosma who took care of her as an older brother. He, too, was dead.

Contrary to expectations, knowing they could be revived never lit up a spark within Griseo. Her feelings went the exact opposite as others. Kiana longed to see her mother again. The same went for Sirin who saw Cecilia as her second mother.

No matter what Griseo did, she could never shake off the weariness born out of Sa’s eternal samsara, more so when immortal cultivation amplified her mental struggles. Something that should have been dealt became a towering demon she could not easily defeat.

When Griseo backtracked in her decision of severing her causality, she faced a backlash. Her Heart Demon Tribulation also grew stronger due to her sudden ‘retreat’ which almost made her fail the breakthrough altogether.

‘She was able to face it in the original. Even if she hasn’t fully healed, Griseo shouldn’t have faced this problem.’

Shi Tian’s intervention brought not only good endings, but also bad endings. Griseo’s situation was one of them; and so was Mei’s.

‘I need to tell her…’

He stopped right in front of her canvas. The wooden easel remained perfectly in place amidst the gushing wind sweeping through the grass.

“It is okay to be hurt.”

“..?”

Her ‘calm’ eyes stared blankly at his face.

“I am not invincible from the beginning. I was defeated by Nihility. If it wasn’t for another power acting to save my life, I would have wound up in some corner of the universe, neither alive nor dead.”

Shi Tian never forgot it was the golden orb that brought him out of Nihility. His seemingly ‘invincible’ unchanging heart once reached its limit. If it wasn’t for it, he would have found himself as an Emanator of Nihility. There would be no Shi Tian who propagated immortal cultivation throughout Earth. He wouldn’t have been able to write those stories and the endings he preferred the most.

“What matters more than being defeated… is to have someone willing to help you back up.”

When Griseo heard these words, she froze. In her eyes, “loving” someone is the equivalent of creating a weakness out of nothing. If she never loved her family, she wouldn’t have been this devastated in the first place. Shi Tian was the same. His color was as brilliant as the Sun. Yet, he chose to love others.

“I am willing to be that someone.”

“..!”

That was her breaking point. Griseo’s tears could no longer stop flowing out. Her sobs could no longer be suppressed as she let them out with a hint of shakiness. The bravado she wore since she woke up collapsed at this instant. Her entire body could not stop trembling as her cries grew louder and louder. It felt as if she had vented her thousands of years’ worth of frustrations… regrets.

Rustle-!

The paint brush in her hand fell to the ground. The black ink that remained on her brush’s fine tips stained the grass with black dots.

“..A…Ah..?”

The faint touch in her back prompted Griseo to look up. It was unknown when Shi Tian reached her side. Though he appeared hesitant, he decided to pat her back. It was one of the few ways he remembered to help someone who was crying.

Though the two never said anything, Griseo felt it once more.

The warmth she had lost.