Chapter 119: The Madness’ Answer
"Sister."
"Yes?"
Walking through the oddly empty hallways of the mansion, I glanced up at my dear sister, "This is also preordained, isn't it?"
Esme shrugged, "I'd assume so. The halls are empty, Mother and Father are nowhere to be seen, and the Maiden hasn't shown her face. They're waiting for us; they know why we're going."
"Then, sister, I have another question."
Feeling Esme's warmth spread through our interlaced hands, I smiled and tilted my head up at her, "Are you happy?"
My question seemed to come out of nowhere, but I had my reasons for asking. I had to know Esme's true feelings at this moment, not the ones my brain was assuming and drawing conclusions about on its own.
"I know you were lost. And I know you were confused. But I also know that you still are, even to this day." I continued speaking on my own as I awaited her reply, "But at the very least, at the absolute baseline, I want you to be happy that you get to be with me—to be happy that it'll all be ending soon."
The warmth emanating from Esme's hands rose by several degrees, and, as we approached the final corridor, as we reached the end of our line in this accursed mansion...
She turned her head down at me.
Her lips rose.
"No. I'm not happy."
She was smiling.
But her eyes, those golden, blistering behemoths; they crackled with unfiltered rage. Rage towards our circumstances, rage towards those who orchestrated this hell of ours.
By the end of this conversation, Esme's right hand had landed on the door handles of the madness's office.
At our father's office.
Creak...
Esme didn't waste any time before twisting it open and leading us into the office.
With the soothing, orangish light of the aurora acting as a backdrop through the floor-ceiling windows, sitting behind his desk was our father.
And, in my eyes, what I saw was no man.
It was no Human.
It was a mess of madness.
A bungled, chaotic concept of madness. Not a vague hint of Humanity existed where my eyes lay upon it.
Beside it, standing with a sweet, loving smile, a smile filled with utter, true love; a smile plagued with sorrow of parting, was our mother. With cascading chestnut-coloured hair and exquisite oceanic blue eyes, the Mistress was dressed in a beige, loose dress that vaguely draped over the contours of her body.
"My sweet, sweet daughters~" Staring at us with pride and love, the Mistress took a step to the side and leaned her elbow over the madness' chair.
"Your Perfect selves are gradually approaching completion~ I wish I had been there to witness the great unravelling of the truth of Alora's Perfect Cursed Doll, but, alas, my rebellious sweet Esme rejected my presence."
"My apologies, Mother." Esme bowed her head slightly.
On the other hand, I kept my gaze glued on the glob of madness. I felt its 'gaze' oozing onto me like a dripping waterfall of viscous horror.
At that same moment, both mother and Esme turned their heads towards the madness. They seemed to be listening for a moment before both swished their heads directly at me.
And, to my detriment, Esme quizzically squeezed my hand, "What's wrong, sister? Why aren't you asking your question?"
My question?
Asking?
What are they on about?
Reattaching my sight to the madness, I pondered over it for a split second. Just long enough to try and unravel the web of mysteries that the madness had me wrapped up in.
The madness seems to be awaiting a question from me.
Does it know I can't hear it?
Is it allowing me to ask whatever I want?
Or does it not know that I can't hear it and is planning something else?
I doubted that notion and crossed it out instantly. It had to know, there was no feasible reality where this thing of madness didn't know I couldn't hear it.
With everything gushing through my brain like scattered fireworks, I brought everything to a halt.
Stop.
There was no need for any of that.
I just had to do one thing.
Ask my question.
Any question.
What do I desperately want to know?
What have I been pleading to figure out all along?
What has been knocking at the doors of my brain?
The secrets of my birth? The reason behind why I appeared in this world?
What this Crucible of Light truly is? What it was created for?
Or do I ask why there is an aurora whilst the rest of the world is stated to be in utter darkness with no sun?
Staring into the amalgamation of madness, I pondered.
I questioned.
I searched.
I dug into the corners of my existence, I plunged my head into the stars of shattered shards of memories.
There, in the ocean of shards, I suddenly saw it.
A crack in space.
A stream of liquid.
And, within that crack...
Me.
The young, little me.
I stared at me.
Then, I stared back at me.
The little me opened my mouth.
I opened my mouth.
Then, I spoke words I couldn't recognise.
Words I had forgotten.
"This love. Was it you?"
I didn't understand the meaning behind these words.
Why would I ask if my love for Esme is its fault? My love for Esme is mine. My love for Esme is from me. My love for Esme-
"Was it you?" I asked again.
Then.
Like a resonance in the atmosphere itself; like the ringing of a bell echoing from the depths of the fabrics of reality;
I heard a something.
Not a voice.
Not an imprint.
Not an order.
Not a will.
But a something.
[No.]
Something crushed my brain. Not physically, not literally, but whatever it was that was holding this fragile creature together... It cracked.
Staring into the resonance, staring into the eyes of the little me.
Staring at the harrowing despair and horror in the eyes of the little me.
I, she, we, mouthed to ourselves.
[This adult fell in love with its baby sister on its lonesome.]
...Then, I tilted my head to the side.
With a crack in my lips, with a crack in this fragile creature's brain, I stared into the amalgamation of madness.
What was I thinking of again?
Staring in a daze for a moment, I abruptly shook my head back to clarity after I felt Esme's hands touch my cheek. I turned to her and widened my smile, "I'm fine." And said those words for some odd reason.
Of course, I was fine. Why did I have to reiterate it?
Esme gave me an odd look, but I continued smiling at her; happily, ecstatically, smiling. I had nothing to feel sad about. My dear sister, the one I loved, was right here standing before my eyes.
I have every reason to be happy!
I'm fine!
Esme clutched my hand amid my dazed stupor of joy and turned her attention to our parents. She nudged me to bow, and I followed her instruction.
With our heads lowered, and with my question answered-
With our heads lowered, Esme spoke on my behalf as well, "Farewell, Mother, Father. We shall be taking our leave. May our paths be reunited someday down the line."
Our mother returned the final farewell, and perhaps the madness did so too, but I couldn't hear it. Then Esme tapped my back and motioned for me to rise. So, I rose absentmindedly and continued following Esme's instructions.
Lifting my head, my stiff white eyes crossed gazes with our mother; with those ocean blue eyes.
I still remember it, the day I saw those eyes for the first time.
And, I also still remember it; the never-ending routine of punishment.
Mother's eyes sweetened with joy as she gazed at me, her lips rose in the outskirts of my vision, filling her face with love. Love for me.
True, familial love.
Nodding at me, she daintily lifted her hand and waved at me.
But then Esme pulled me.
She cut off our mother's gaze.
Esme took me to the door and pulled it open.
There, standing at the boundary of the open door, I forced my steps to a halt. I didn't want to go out like that, with no words spoken between mother and daughter.
Squeezing Esme's hand, she looked at me for a moment and opened her mouth, but she saw my eyes.
She saw my determination.
Thus, I swivelled on my heels; I faced my, our, mother.
Staring up at her, at our beautiful mother, I spoke the words that had to be spoken.
"I will be back. No matter what. Wait for me."
Turning my head away, I didn't wait for her reaction; I didn't want to see it. I stepped ahead past Esme and pulled her along whilst releasing a tendril of Curses from my free hand and wrapped it around the door handle-
Thud!
-and slammed the doors to our parents' shut.
It will be many years before we meet them again.
-----
Strolling in silence through the open front gardens one last time, Esme and I wound up at the familiar gazebo.
We quietly observed the familiar seats, the familiar table, and we quietly relived the memories of the past, the memories of when I first met the cohort. The memories of when the madness revealed itself and I broke apart the first time.
The memory of walking away after that first time and stumbling upon Hilda. As for whether that was a coincidental meeting or not, I won't even bother thinking about it.
I'm sure Esme is also remembering her time with the others. Memories that I'd missed out on in the first 5 years.
...Nevertheless.
This was it.
This was the end.