Chapter 93: I Am Nothing
"...Fine." I responded, but my attention was quickly split between the rest of the cohort.
Vanessa seemed to be in her world, hovering over Yulei with fervour.
Yulei's face was scrunched up, but a hint of clarity and understanding brewed beneath that shimmer of annoyance.
Nemora was quiet, ice-cold, and sombre.
Jill was as stiff as always with no care in the world.
And Elden was surprisingly alert, actively pondering whatever Esme had explained to them moments ago.
...As for Hildekar-
He's staring right at Hilda.
I was curious, but this wasn't the time for that.
"Ready?" Esme noticed my missing attention and reined me back in.
"Mhm."
"It's simple-" She raised a finger with a stern gaze, "-their memory is erased each time they exit this cave. Not a hint of it remains. I tried reminding them on the outside, tried having them write a note to themselves-"
She shook her head, "-but none of it worked."
...Shit.
"Nemora did come up with something, though."
"Oh?"
"Secrets. She proposed that each person would pass to me a secret that they've never told someone before, and I could use that secret to convince them to listen to my commands and blindly trust me in case of an emergency. That way, if there's ever a situation that requires it, I can get them moving no matter what."
I immediately noticed the flaws in that 'solution', "What if it turns them against you? What if, instead, they believe you spied on them or are using it as blackmail?"
Esme grinned at me with pride in her beautifully blazing eyes, "That won't happen."
"They trust me with their lives."
...Ohoh?
I didn't even doubt Esme.
I believe those words wholeheartedly; if it's Esme, if it's my perfect sister, then that is entirely plausible.
But that means even if I tell them, they'll forget. But, as long as Esme knows, she'll have my back. And as long as their Authority grows in the future, they'll remember these events eventually.
Taking a deep breath, "They trust you wholeheartedly, right?"
"Yes."
With Esme's response lingering in my ears, I gazed over the cohort; over the group destined to follow us through the fiery waters of hell.
"Then come, take a seat, all of you. I have something to tell you..."
I took a deep breath, calming my quivering breath.
"...the truth. And nothing but."
With no further prompting required, the teenagers formed themselves into a semicircle before me; each sat in their own unique way. Vanessa even picked up Yulei out of her chair and placed her by her side.
Eying Hilda, "Sit us down as well."
Hilda lowered herself onto the ground and shifted my position to be between her legs. She rested my head comfortably on her chest.
And, right in front of me, at the centre of the cohort, Esme sat sideways elegantly. Her hair swayed over her shoulders and spilt onto her tightly clasped hands.
Taking a deep breath-
"Hoo..."
I thought back to the past; tothecountlesspunishments.
To the truth of this Crucible.
"The Domain of Light."
They listened closely.
"This home of ours; of yours."
They tensed up.
"...It's hell."
The air between us froze.
"It's a death trap."
All eyes quaked with a slew of emotions, but no one interrupted me.
"If we don't leave..."
Thus.
"We'll all die."
I dropped the truth of this Crucible of Light.
...This Crucible of Madness.
"H, hold up." Hildekar shakily raised his hand as though he were in a class, "We'll die? What? How?"
Those are expected questions.
"Flamm's." Thus, I twisted the question slightly while my eyes shot towards Yulei; even Vanessa flinched from that word.
"What does Flamm's have to do with it?" Nemora asked.
I gazed briefly at Nemora's icy green eyes, then turned my eyes to Yulei's, "Yulei, it affects your legs, correct?"
"...Yes."
"Other than that, do you feel exhaustion and weakness in your day-to-day life?"
"Yes, those are the symptoms of Flamm's."
"Right, they are..."
I took a deep breath, "...but what if I told you that Flamm's isn't an illness? That it isn't a sickness?"
Correct.
The conclusion I arrived at.
The answers I received.
I cleared the air and laid my answers out flat to the cohort, "What if I told you that Flamm's is, in reality, the suctioning of your life?"
Pausing, I bit my lips as the answer rang true in my mind;
"What if I told you that your Soul is being suctioned out?"
"What if I told you that the Crucible of Light is absorbing your Soul?"
"What if I told you that everywhere in this Domain of Light, I can see it; the white haze; the souls; the life; of all people being faintly, slowly, absorbed?"
I stared solemnly at Yulei's despairing face, "What if I told you that His Majesty and the Mistress are the ones to blame for all of this?"
"That our parents-"
I glanced at Esme's still, dead, eyes; at the eyes brewing with a fountain of maddening rage;
"-are the ones killing this land?"
...My voice dropped to a standstill.
I had no more to say, not for now, at least.
The rest could wait for after we've explored this cavern.
Also.
I grinned inwardly.
It worked.
I was worried that the Authority dominating the Crucible of Light would prevent them from comprehending my words, but the land of the Canaries is preventing that.
Pausing, I abruptly remembered what my mother told me after my Descent; she told me to take them here.
She knew.
Of course she did.
In the end, everything is still moving as our mother has intended for it to.
"...So I'm not sick?" Yulei's grim voice cracked the frosty tension.
Elden shook his head at her, "If Lady Alora's words are to be true, with zero falsehoods-" He sighed, "-then no, you're not sick."
"No one has ever been sick to 'Flamm's'."
Jill tapped Elden's arm, "You should stop there."
Elden halted his voice; both boys noticed the upheaval in Yulei's face. A bubbling veil of tears filled her eyes. Esme continued staring at me with silent rage.
On the other hand, Nemora stepped up towards me; she stood up and walked right at me:
"Lady Alora-"
Scoffing, she shook her head.
"No, just Alora." Staring down at me from above, "I can believe your words. I can trust them. For I trust Esme."
Nonetheless, Nemora's pretty face spat out her next sentence, "But. What does that have to do with the information I've been waiting for? The vials of goods. Your sudden appearance 4 years ago. And this 'sickness' of yours, is it not also Flamm's? Have you brought us here for the sake of figuring out a way to save yourself, without bothering to think it through twice over in your petty little brain?"
"How will Yulei feel to be exposed like this in front of everyone? How will Vanessa feel? How about Hildekar? Or your pretty maid behind you? Did you not even bother to check her face throughout the past few minutes?"
Scoffing at my silence, "What? Did you also hide everything from Esme and Hilda? Is Esme's trust in you even worth anything then?"
...That's not it.
"I didn't-"
Nemora raised her hand, stopping me from talking, "If you were about to say that you 'didn't mean to hurt us', then spare me the bullshit. Yes, you are 9 years old. I will accept the excuse that your intelligence is likely not up to par, but-"
Crouching down to my level, Nemora poked her finger into the cave's floor. Then, she opened her mouth;
Her words echoed like a strike of judgment upon me, laced with Blessings and Curses:
"-I won't believe that for a split second. Alora, Ghost of The Palace, the Second Light of His Majesty and the Mistress, I ask you this..."
The finger that had broken through the rocky ground curled up and dug out the earth from the inside out. She curled her hand into a fist, smacking it into the floor with a plume of ashen dust.
"...Did you ever stop to think that the world doesn't revolve around you?"
...
"...Did you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, to the eyes of others, this act of delaying your words, leading us on, only to drop a bomb shell out of nowhere, would seem selfish, almost?"
"Condescending, almost?"
"Nemora-" Esme tried to speak.
"No."
But then Nemora's power-imbued speech temporarily shut down Esme's vocal cords.
"I respect you, Esme. I trust you, Esme. I would dedicate my life to you, Esme..." Nemora turned her head to face Esme, then she pointed her thumb back towards me nonchalantly.
"But her?"
Scoffing, "The basis of trust is honesty."
"And, thus far, I've yet to taste a hint of honesty till mere minutes ago."
"Years of lies; years of leading us on; years of hiding the grand truth, and yet, even now-"
Esme's head swivelled back towards me; her green eyes spewed with crushing rage.
"-even now, she continues to veil the truth. Even now, she continues to hide information."
Patting her thighs, Nemora slowly stood up. She loomed over me with beady, pitying eyes, and, without a moment of hesitation, she shrugged her shoulders with a short laugh as she spat her next words:
"What? Did you expect us to sit here in your class and be all shocked and terrified? Did you expect us to look at you with different eyes?"
Pursing her lips, "Spare me."
...I didn't.
I never expected anything.
Hilda's hold on me tightened.
All I wanted was to bring everyone together.
I just wanted to save everyone.
But then, it loomed in the back of my mind;
A voice;
My voice;
A leering;
Haughty voice;
[Did they ask you to save them?]
...
[Or were you off playing hero all on your lonesome?]
...
[Didn't you say that your life exists for Esme?]
...
[Yet you hide it all from her, do you not?]
...
[You're a coward.]
...
[A self-righteous, pompous creature all stuck in its own head, unwilling to accept the fact that all on its lonesome, it is worth nill.]
...
[Alora...]
No-
[...You are nothing.]
-I'm not.