Chapter 53: The Boundary of Truth
Standing there, I shakily heaved a couple of breaths of air. Then, I gradually lifted my fingers and gave them the 'ok'.
It hurt.
Moving my fingers hurts.
My brain hurts.
Everything hurts.
But I didn't allow myself to show any more than necessary.
I didn't want to worry Esme more than necessary.
NotwhenmyexistenceisforEsme'sbenefit.
Imustnothurther.
84,534,111
I'm melting.
My bones are grinding from the inside out. I can hear the minute fractures spreading, threatening to collapse me.
Thus, I activated the manic flow of Curses to patch myself together.
Then, more pain.
One thing breaks.
I fix it.
Then another breaks.
Over, and over, and over again.
This cycle repeats.
Yet even so, I smile beneath the mask, "To the garden?" And I ask Esme.
I should try the herbal cigarette next time.
"Okay, sister."
Walking by my side, Esme kept her steps in pace with mine. She also occasionally glanced back at Hilda and the weirdly quiet Lily.
I couldn't tell exactly what she was passing on to them from this angle, but I'd guess it's something on the lines of 'Watch her carefully, if she falls, catch her.'
Esme is too kind.
Especially when all that's running through my mind is-
Or maybe the tablets might be better?
I can control the intake, reduce the effects, sure, but also reduce the risks of another episode.
-Drugs.
It's irresistible, the sensation of floating euphoria, the numbed pain:
It feels too good.
-----
Slowly but surely, we arrived at the gardens beside the gazebo.
Inhaling the flow of white haze that was present everywhere in a subtle manner, I felt the odd thoughts recede. My limbs softened slightly, allowing me a moment of relief from the dam of pain that had been broken.
Just what is this white stuff?
White eyes; both mine and of the upside-down crosses.
And now this white haze.
Plusthewhitestuffoozingfromthelimbssplatteredeverywhere.
This correlation didn't escape me, the link to it all had to be somewhere in this Domain of Light...
Light...
"..."
I paused my steps, receiving the worried glances of the girls around me.
I paid them no heed.
Instead, I lifted my head.
I stared upwards.
At the light.
It's at the tip of my tongue.
It felt like the answer was right there, like a beautiful lady teasing me from behind a translucent curtain.
What is it?
This erreounous sensation?
"Dear sister?" Esme's gentle tap rustled me awake from that sensation, that feeling of enlightenment drifted away from the tips of my fingers.
Gone.
I lost it.
Sighing, a smile crept onto my lips. "I was appreciating the weather. It's beautiful today."
"Indeed, dear sister. The light shines upon us with grace, your presence only illuminates it further." Esme cheekily passed the praise onto me, yet-
Huh?
What did she just say?
Illuminates?
White?
Black and white?
Darkness and light?
...The light.
The light.
The light!
Goosebumps gripped the back of my neck, choking the life out of me. Sweat began profusely dripping down my face as my heart sank into my stomach; this terrifying feeling froze me.
At that very moment.
Upon that moment of enlightenment.
Upon that utterly horrifying understanding.
Upon the slightest comprehension of the horrors of this mad Domain.
I witnessed chestnut and blue.
...What was I thinking of again?
Dazed, I shook my head side-to-side.
Bathing in the horrifying- beautiful light of the aurora, I nodded at Esme, "You can go ahead, I'll sit here and sunbathe."
Using Hilda's grip on my waist as aid, I lowered myself to the white-haze tinged grass.
Sitting on the prickly grass, I breathed in the white haze, soothing my brain; it brought peace to me amid the mind-numbing horrors.
-----
Her shaky hands loosened up the moment they approached Leon. Pushing a tablet into his mouth, she propped him up, soothingly rubbed his back, and fed him water.
"Swallow it." Her voice was hoarse, cracked from months of the crushing weight of this sickness ailing her son.
Wiping the faint trickle of tears dripping down his face, she leaned back whilst keeping hold of her daughter. Senuela's daughter slept in her embrace. The little girl had grown drastically in the past six months.
Juggling the rapidly growing girl and her sick son...
"Good girl." So she said, with a weeping smile on her face while rubbing her daughter's soft scalp.
Senulea never dropped her smile.
"Leon, are you feeling any better?" Moving his long bangs aside, she playfully pinched his cheek.
In response, the mute Leon slowly nodded his head.
'A lie.'
She knew it was a lie.
He always lied.
So, she was always in a conundrum.
Should she play along with his lies?
Or, should she reassure him that it was okay to show her his pain?
Senulea wasn't sure.
So, in the heat of the moment, and with her motherly instincts kicking in, "Leon. My cute little boy. You can tell me the truth, does it hurt?"
His face stiffened as he turned his eyes to the side.
After a few seconds, he reluctantly nodded.
"Want me to call the little gentlemen, Philip, for you? I hear his visit to his sister, Finnie, is coming to an end soon." Fixing Leon's messy hair, Senuela watched her quiet son turn his head towards her with a bright smile.
He quickly swished his head up and down, clearly excited to see Philip.
"I'll check with his sister first to see if it is alright for him to come, okay?"
Again, Leon nodded vigorously.
Gently patting his back, she raised her daughter and lay her by his side, "Watch over her for me, will you?"
Wrapping his arms around his sister, he nuzzled her cheek. He flinched as he did so, and the pain of Flamm's inevitably flared up.
But he remained strong.
His eyes stared at his mother, Senuela, with bright irises.
Momentarily parting ways with her son, Senuela exited the single room and quietly shut the door behind her.
Entering one of St. Neuvae's Clinic's many corridors, the first thing anyone would notice is the silence—the quiet, soothing atmosphere.
Each room in the ward has soundproofing to improve living conditions, otherwise...
Senuela rubbed her bloodshot eyes.
...otherwise, all you'd hear are cries.
The cries of the suffering children.
A ward filled to the brim with sick kids.
A hallway filled with parents walking mindlessly, hopelessly, and in despair.
The atmosphere, though calm and soothing, was coated with darkness.
And she was just another cog in this grim wheel. Just another parent fighting powerlessly against a disease with no cure.
Slap!
Smacking her face, the noise resonated across the corridor, drawing a couple of empty eyes. However, those eyes deftly retreated.
Senuela paid it no heed.
Reinvigorated, she walked towards Finnie's room.
Visiting that lonely girl was part of her duty now, getting her permission for Philip to spend some time with her son was secondary.
---
The sound of singing canaries echoed throughout her room, constantly reminding her of the depressing reality of Flamm's.
Philip slept peacefully at her bedside, close enough for her to stroke his head.
If there was one thing she was grateful for, it would be-
"It's peaceful."
-her smile was warm amid the cold darkness of the Domain of Light.
She was grateful for Philip, she was thankful for these final moments of peace, because the truth was, 'My time will be up soon.'
The end of life was soon to come.
Finnie could feel it in her bones, in her heart; she could feel her body deteriorating faster than before.
'As long as I live long enough to watch you grow some more, that is enough for me.'
Playfully plucking Philip's hair, trickles of Blessings began oozing from her fingertips. At first, they were light and weak.
But, quickly enough, the Blessings grew in intensity, in strength.
It bellowed from her body, overwhelming the room in utter purity.
A teenager still a year or two off from true adulthood, and this very same teenager had long-
Fwoosh!
The Blessings crystallised, they dug into Philip's sleeping body, massaging his muscles, strengthening his tendons, and filling him with lifeforce.
A miracle of Blessings.
A miracle that even the Commander of the Sanctified Knights would widen his eyes upon witnessing it. Her level of control, the precision, and the purity of her Blessings, the severe lack of Curses intertwining with these Blessings:
A true miracle.
Finnie, her existence, could be considered a miracle.
Yet.
She too fell victim to Flamm's.
...No.
In essence, she only ever reached these heights, pushed her wings far and wide, due to the very fact that she had fallen sick to Flamm's all those years ago.
All to combat Flamm's.
...All to free the damned from this hell.