Chapter 250 : You Really Can’t Keep Your Hands to Yourself!
Chapter 250: You Really Can’t Keep Your Hands to Yourself!
Yuan the Eldest Miss truly lived up to her reputation as someone who had seen and experienced everything. Even in such a situation, her face remained calm and her heart steady. She even still thought about competing with Liu Rushuang—just how deep was this obsession of hers?
“Wait, what is this junk? When I bought it, the seller clearly said it was supposed to look perfectly natural, cooling and refreshing, and had a nice shape! I’m giving his shop a one-star review!”
In the living room, the white-haired loli walked out of the bathroom, holding a transparent latex item in each hand as she shouted.
Lin Mo’s vision darkened at the sight. “Yuan Jie, Yuan Jie, that’s indecent—put those away, quickly!”
At his words, Yuan the Eldest Miss took a deep breath, weighed the items in her hands, then suddenly jumped backward and threw them into the trash can in his living room.
“Three-pointer—swish!”
Lin Mo: …
You really don’t hold back, huh? You honestly don’t even treat me like a human being.
When you up and leave later, if a guest happens to come by and sees this, what will they think of me? He decided he’d better take out the trash later.
“Garbage product. It’s nothing like the description. I’m definitely leaving a bad review,” Yuan the Eldest Miss muttered, shaking her thick braided pigtails as she opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of cold cola.
Lin Mo’s mouth twitched. “Uh, Yuan Jie, is it possible you were using the Pre-Qin Lady’s Steps technique incorrectly?”
“Impossible! Absolutely impossible! I learned the most authentic Pre-Qin Lady’s Steps! I even hired a teacher—it wasn’t cheap!” Yuan the Eldest Miss raised her voice several pitches.
Lin Mo blinked. “Weren’t you traveling?”
“Yeah, I learned it while traveling! Paid the tuition, practiced for less than half a day, and the teacher said I’d already mastered it. He even refunded two-thirds of the fee!” Yuan the Eldest Miss said proudly.
Lin Mo: …
“Are you sure you graduated, and not that the teacher couldn’t handle you and expelled you from the class?”
Yuan the Eldest Miss flared up. “Hmm? What did you just say?”
“Forget it. Pretend I didn’t.” Lin Mo waved his hand. Whatever—she was the one embarrassing herself, not him. He glanced at her new hairstyle and continued, “What’s with your hair, by the way? What kind of style is that—‘Very Six Plus One’?”
At that, Yuan the Eldest Miss puffed out her nearly flat chest. “How about it? Looks great, right?
I saw online that Chinese people have a soft spot for white hair and red eyes! I’m even planning to get red contact lenses, but before I could, you messaged me out of nowhere! Why did you come back early? Didn’t bring me a gift, did you?”
Hearing that, Lin Mo didn’t even know what to say. Yuan the Eldest Miss really acted on impulse. When she decided to dye her hair, she just went and did it; when she wanted to change styles, she changed. Though her hair color and style had always been inconsistent, she’d never done anything this eye-catching before. He had no idea what triggered it.
Still, he was a little envious of her lifestyle—having money in hand and a family to fall back on. Of course she could do whatever she wanted.
Even with his “plug-in,” Lin Mo’s ultimate goal wasn’t much more than that. Yet Yuan the Eldest Miss had started life already at his finish line. Some people were simply born as protagonists.
As for white hair and red eyes—did people here really like that aesthetic? He wasn’t sure, but he had to admit she looked quite cute like this.
Of course, that was only because of her cute face. If she looked like Wang Chu instead, then no matter how white her hair or how red her eyes, no one would find it attractive.
“Uh, looks great! Yuan Jie looks good no matter what, hahaha!” Lin Mo scratched his head awkwardly.
No matter what he really thought, flattery never hurt. He wasn’t completely clueless—this kind of easy question was a freebie.
But to his surprise, Yuan the Eldest Miss narrowed her eyes. “You’re changing the subject. I said—where’s my gift?”
Lin Mo: ???
“What gift? I didn’t even go traveling! I was just at my parents’ place for a few days—where would I get a gift?”
“Excuses! So what if it’s your hometown? Even a little local specialty counts! Clearly, you don’t care about Yuan Jie at all! And to think, I actually got you a gift!” Yuan the Eldest Miss crossed her arms, puffing her cheeks angrily as she turned away.
Lin Mo sighed. Sure enough, women were unreasonable creatures. He just went home and somehow that meant he owed her a gift? From South City, no less! The only local specialty there was vinegar. He couldn’t exactly bring her a bottle of condiment as a present, could he?
After a moment’s thought, he opened the fridge. “A gift, huh? Sure. Here, dummy.”
“Who are you calling a dummy?”
“I said, here—a stupid chicken egg. My mom brought it from home before leaving. Free-range, from village hens—way more nutritious than farm eggs.” Lin Mo held out his palm, showing a single egg.
Yuan the Eldest Miss frowned at the egg. “This is your idea of a gift? A single egg?”
“Why not? It’s the thought that counts. If you don’t want it, fine.” Lin Mo chuckled.
It was nothing serious anyway—his parents had prepared them for Professor Li and Professor Mu. Giving one to Yuan the Eldest Miss wouldn’t matter.
“I’ll take it! Why not? I haven’t eaten yet, I’ll just—eh? It’s raw?!” Yuan the Eldest Miss cracked it on the coffee table, and it burst open, yolk and whites dripping down her hand.
Lin Mo spread his hands. “I never said it was cooked.”
Yuan the Eldest Miss was so mad she laughed. “Heh~ you little—eat my egg, will you!”
“Whoa, whoa! Calm down!”
Ten minutes later, Lin Mo had changed into clean clothes and washed his hair. He couldn’t exactly leave bits of eggshell stuck in his hair.
“Alright, let’s call it even. I forgive your recklessness, so don’t blame me for not bringing a gift,” Lin Mo said, toweling his hair dry.
Yuan the Eldest Miss rolled her eyes. “Serves you right!”
“Hey, that’s not fair. I gave you a gift—you just didn’t like it. Besides, I was home, there wasn’t much to bring. What about you? You went on a whole trip and I didn’t see you bring me anything!” Lin Mo shot back.
He could understand himself having no souvenirs—but she went all the way to Haba Snow Mountain! Surely there were souvenirs there. She could’ve at least brought back a handful of snow, if nothing else!
“Who said I didn’t?” Yuan the Eldest Miss smirked, reaching behind her back and rummaging for a bit before pulling something out. She placed it in Lin Mo’s hand with a proud grin.
“Here—your gift!”
“Uh…”
He stared at the palm-sized stone in his hand—it was surprisingly heavy. He looked her up and down, baffled.
“You’re not even wearing a skirt. Where did you pull this out from?”
“None of your business. Fine, I pulled it out, alright?”
Lin Mo: …
He knew that wasn’t possible, but why did he suddenly feel queasy?
“Wait—why are you giving me a stone ball? Does it have some special meaning?” Lin Mo asked, turning the object over and over. It just looked like a plain stone ball. Was it some kind of consecrated talisman? A charm to ward off evil?
“Nope. I went to Suzhou, and when I passed a police station, I saw a stone lion out front holding a ball in its mouth. I poked at it a bit and managed to pull it out. Couldn’t put it back, so… I brought it!”
Lin Mo: …
“You really can’t keep your hands to yourself!”