Walking Disasters and Me

We cuddle together for some time. The urgency of the world outside - and my currently awkward predicament - being pushed to the back burner as Sandra and I just... heal in each other's arms. Both of us still young and new to not just being soulmates, but in a way, towards each other. My rapidly healing mind so different yet the same from my time on Earth that I can't completely fault her for being cautious. For being careful with its state.

At the same time, both of our understandings of the word 'trust' took on new depths from this. The same way my heart ripped open with love as she stuck by my side after I showed her the tragic events between Samantha and I now radiates from her person after her own admission. Our bond constantly - effortlessly - feeding the warm comfort, sighing relief, and assuring certainty of our declarations to each other.

I don't doubt that we'll probably have stumbles here and there in the future. We're both only just cresting into proper adulthood, or at least we were back on Earth. Throw in a fantasy combat land with amazing powers and dangerous fates, and the possibilities for mistakes are truly boundless. But, that's fine. I don't give two shits if we fight, or argue, or just have a miscommunication once in a while. What matters is that we always come back together, that we know we both love each other more than the universe itself. And that neither of us are letting go of the other for as long as we live.

A kiss on my cheek breaks me from my internal thoughts, my head rising up slightly from where it rests in the crook of her neck as we still lay on the couch. "What'cha thinking about, baby girl?" Sandra asks softly as she strokes my hair. Both of our voices still tired from the previous exchange, but no less filled with love once more.

"About the future." I reply back just as gently, hand coming to trace her cheekbone as I smile down to her. "About how even if we mess up going forward, I know I'll always love you. And that, even though it's still kind of raw, I can't really be upset with you for what happened just now. How we're both still barely adults who are in this beyond fucked situation, and that we're trying our best to navigate it. As well as navigate our love for each other. That we are going to make mistakes, and that its okay when that happens."

She looks surprised at my words, but easily pulls it back into a smile as she giggles and gives a small press of her lips to mine. Her skin hotter than a star as she says, "I always love how introspective you are. Even if you get lost in that big, beautiful brain of yours because of it sometimes~."

A faux hurt comes across my features as I lean back to sitting, hips pressing on hers. "H-hey! One of us has to think things through, and it certainly isn't you, missy. Not with how you just like to jump into everything headfirst!"

Sandra laughs as she pulls herself up on her elbows, "Just because I like to have fun without making things too deep doesn't mean I don't think about stuff, Aims~. Name one time I-"

"You literally almost bungie jumped off a bridge without the instructor hooking the cord to you for your 18th birthday. When we were 14, you thought it would be a good idea to jump off a 20-foot cliff at the river by our house, a river that was - at best - knee high water where you wanted to jump and dad had to pull you back from the ledge. And I don't even remember the number of times you went to go hang with friends or something and forgot to put a bra on because you were so excited." Her face performs another true first, as it lights in a crimson blush and pout that makes my heart nearly explode with the want to ravish her. A thought that also takes me by surprise, but I power on regardless with equally hot cheeks as my mouth becomes bone dry.

"S-should I go on?" I say, though despite my best efforts a hint of breathy lust slips between the taunt. Sandra's pout shifting as she gives me a questioning look only to slowly have it replaced with a knowing one. My mind suddenly very aware of how we are seated as she looks to me with a coy smile that further sets the space between my legs ablaze.

"I don't know, maybe you should~. Seems like you're enjoying it~. Or, is it me being all embarrassed and meek that got you so hot and bothered~?" The words still to silence inside me as she leans further, a soft yet almost predatory gleam in her eyes as she raises to vertical. Our chests smushing together as she pulls my hips toward her. "Maybe you have a bit of an S side to your M, hmm~? And there'd be nothing wrong with that, of course. I don't mind being either, especially not if it means you get to be all dominant and rough with me sometimes~."

Dear Heavens... I gulp, all my previous bravado and thoughts about holding her down now washed away in the tide of her brown eyes. Wetness pooling on her waist as my recently pent up libido decides now is the best time to remind me of its existence. Though I do clarify one point, "M-maybe seeing you be so cute and shy turned me on, but I-I don't want to be 'rough' during sex. That kind of... hits a bit too close to... well, you know."

Her teasing smile falters, which does make me ping a bit of regret between us. Though, she recovers quickly and instead wraps me up in a hug that still sends arcs of pink across my boiling skin. "Right, sorry. I was just teasing you a little, but I wouldn't want you to try and do something you aren't comfortable with. I did mean it though, there's nothing wrong with expressing yourself in whatever way you want with me, okay? Top, bottom, switch, whatever you want to call it. None of that matters to me so long as its with you."

Again, that pure, honest devotion. Something that just... brightens my entire existence like nothing else ever has. Or likely ever will. Because even though I unquestioningly love Akiko, and Ios, and the girls, nothing can compare to this feeling right now~. "O-okay..." I say back in a small voice. Its timid strokes not due to fear or hesitation, but because I don't trust myself not to blabber on about how amazing the woman, my soulmate, before me is.

Kindly, she lets the simmering pink bubble back to tranquil. Our forms rocking each other lightly as we leave our arms wrapped around one another. That is, until she leans back again, though this time with a face and ping of her own regret and a sheepish smile. "W-while we're being honest, and to show that I 100% do trust you and think that you're absolutelynot that broken girl from Earth, I should... fess up to something..."

I look at her warily before a light crystal dings above my head in epiphany. "Right. Something went down between you and Akiko, didn't it? You met and talked with her when I brought her to see the bunker memory, likely either stopping time or moving you and her to a different realm or something in the process. Probably both since you have Raphiel's powers."

Sandra blinks a couple times in disbelief as she looks at me, her mouth gaping slightly before she gives a hardy, singular laugh and shakes her head. "Guess I shouldn't be surprised~. I did just get done talking about how amazing your mind works, so of course you already basically figured out what happened. My precious, smart baby girl~." A quick kiss to the quickly reddening skin of my cheeks occurs before she pulls back again and begins to explain with that previous, nervous figure.

"I... was mad at her. Still kind of am, to be honest. I will admit, I may have gone a little overboard, but I stand by what I said." She says. And though her words seem confident, she can't hide the little glimmer of guilt that sparks between us as she looks away.

I raise a hand up to - gently - tilt her face back to mine. My own emotions and judgement reserved until I know more. "Why were you mad at her?"

Sandra sighs as she leans into my hand. Her cheek falling flush against my avatar's skin as she seems to ponder a moment. The silence carrying on for a few seconds before she seems to come to a decision and nods her head against mine. "I think... it'll be easier to just show you. Just... I know you love her, a lot, and I said some... pretty harsh things to her in my outrage. I originally wanted it to be like a 'tough love' kind of talk, but it kinda... spiraled."

"Not filling me with a lot of confidence there, Sands." I say back with a bit of trepidation, "But I promise I'll do my best to just take in what you show me, and that no matter what, I'll love you just the same afterwards. Deal?"

She gives a fragile smile back as she nods. "Deal. Well... here we go then." Her hand intertwines with mine as we are both pulled... somewhere else. The warping and distorting of perception waving in incomprehensible ways before we both stand back in the vault. I shake my head, trying to throw off the lingering odd sensations like a dog does to wet fur as I ask, "Okay, that was weird. Why are we still in the vault?"

Sandra smiles a bit, raising a finger to my temple that pulses green and instantly removes all the weird, confusing sensations that were throbbing in my noggin. "We are and aren't. Since you aren't dreaming, I had to take you into my memories - my mind - directly. Hence, the odd sensations. Even if we're in the soul space, if your consciousness is 'awake' in reality then the rules get... finnicky. Or, so I've been told by Raphiel."

Well, that's as good an answer as any, I guess. I go to ask another question before Sandra motions her head in a direction, my face turning to see what she pointed out as I take in Akiko and me, right as we entered into [Dream Archivist]. The scene playing out exactly as how I remember it though from a third perspective. Clearer, even, as I turn and give Sandra a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, now that I can reliably identify your energy, I spy on you when you're in the soul space. Unless you're bangin' Ios. Most of the time..." She says flippantly, though her cheeks redden at the last bit, same as mine do.

"What the hell am I going to do with you..." I mutter back in disbelief, though the thought of constantly keeping tabs on me strangely doesn't weird me out in the slightest. If anything, it feels kind of... nice. Reassuring, almost. I do, however, put the instant blossom of pink in my soul at the thought of her watching me have sex in a neat little corner and out of mind for now.

"Lots of things, hopefully~." She replies without missing a beat, earning her a playful swat on the arm and gasp before both of us turn back to the scene unfolding in her memory. Akiko easing my worries almost exactly like the sister next to me did before I scurry off. The stop of time right when the snowy kitsune was about to replay the memory. And then the shift back to a familiar meadow where the action truly begins after a chilling condemnation.

Point after point of Akiko's perceived failures from Sandra's view. Akiko's own admission that she is still struggling to control her renewed and revamped emotions. Something that I think is still true, given how this came about by her inability to hide her fear of Sandra in general. And I quickly understand why.

Sandra is fucking merciless. Holding back just enough of her god-like powers to not turn the cowering woman who I also love into a puddle. Her words cutting like razor sharp swords into the frightened fox. Her instant dismantling of Akiko's counter argument, short lived as it was. The sheer level of seething resentment directed toward the kitsune as Sandra tears the world asunder in her unrelenting rage.

The devotion she always shows me now bordering on manic possessiveness. And, I realize, that I once again may have misjudged her feelings for me. Not the essence of them, I'd have to be blind and dumb not to know she loves me romantically and profoundly. But the sheer, terrifying depth of them... like an endless, bottomless abyss filled with nothing but overwhelming adoration and, were it anyone else, an almost terrifying concept of the word love. A kind of love that drives the holder to madness and acts of unthinkable things were this Earth. Holding a pureness and nearly twisted deepness to it that would make any over the top yandere blush in comparison.

And... its hot. While I absolutely will be telling her to apologize to Akiko for this, and that I don't want her to fly off the handle like this with her or any of the girls ever again, just the sheer intensity of what she feels toward me makes my knees knock together. I've felt Sandra's neediness for me, and returned it easily and fully. The same with Akiko, and to a lesser extent even Ios.

But never before have I felt that concept so purely displayed than right now. Or, at least, never have I ever felt it quite like this. Suffocating, suffusing, overwhelming. Seeping into my skin and soul in a way that forces my lungs to abdicate their duties. Sandra's entire form radiating one concept amidst a cacophony of emotions and reality shattering displays of power: her love for me.

Much to the relief of my now overbearingly clinched legs, the memory tapers off with some parting threats. Her message fully and completely driven home if Akiko's retching is any indication. I blink, a finger pressed to my forehead as we are back on the couch like before inside the vault. Shame and apprehension coiling through the bond and plastered on the face of my sister as I once more face her.

"W-well... that was... a lot." I say out after a moment. Both our faces scarlet but for differing reasons. She silently nods, but lets me form my thoughts which I appreciate. Because holy shit, where do I even start with this... That it turned me on beyond words to see her like that? That it also upset me beyond words that she did that to Akiko? Even if some of her points were kind of justified? At least, in a way.

And this doesn't feel like she was trying to... drive a wedge between Akiko and I or something. More so that the reason Sandra was so angry at the white furred kitsune was because she knew that Akiko is here to stay. So in that context, she really was just trying to vent her frustrations at how she's been handling things so far. Even if her devotion and anger made her flip her lid. Though the slight hypocrisy of watching the memory after our argument just now also isn't lost on me.

But even then... that wasn't fair. Even if I begrudgingly agree with some of what Sandra said to Akiko - hell, I even said some of it to Akiko herself! - she didn't deserve to get blindsided like that. Maybe Sandra confronted her like that to really sink the point home, or because she just couldn't stand by anymore. Or for both reasons and more. But that doesn't mean she can treat the others that I love so harshly.

"Okay." I begin, not realizing I had shifted my vision to the floor as the thoughts mulled around in my head. I shift so that we're both facing each other again, pulling her hands into my lap as I stroke the tops of them with my thumb. Sandra practically vibrating out of sheer nervousness, eyes sparking with the fear of someone about to be scolded.

I do my best to hide the little smirk that threatens to come to my lips. Even if she's being cute right now, we need to seriously talk about this first. "I think I get why you did that. I understand that, from your perspective, Akiko had really not been living up to the promises and actions of who she claimed to be. And that when her and I became bonded, and she still was stumbling on some things, you took that as a direct offense. Am I right so far?"

Again, a silent nod from the shivering sister as I continue to softly stroke her hand. "I thought so. Before I say anything else, I want you to know that this hasn't changed my love for you at all. If anything, it showed me just how much you actually love me." She goes to speak, fear being replaced by alarm as I squeeze her fingers and shake my head. "I wasn't saying I don't believe you when you say you love me, dork. Hell, we don't even need to say it. We feel it. Down to our soulsand our bones.

What I meant was that even that understanding wasn't proper, for me. I didn't realize just how... enormous the well of your feelings for me is. I think... I've gotten glimpses, but it was never something I was going to really understand until you showed me that side of you. A side which *Ahem* I really liked seeing." Heat crawls to my face though I do nothing to hide it, her eyes shifting from unease to curiosity then to understanding and relief. Along with the colors between us and the space around us.

Before we get too sidetracked on my horny admission, I power on to the proper point I was trying to make. "But how you went about expressing yourself wasn't right or fair to Akiko. I know this universe we're in now relies on strength, that the person with the biggest stick rules. But that isn't how we are going to treat each other inside our group. Even if you don't fully commit to romantic relationships with all - or any - of them, Akiko and the others are going to be by our side for a long, long time because I love them too. And it hurt me to see two people I love in that situation. Whether you thought it was warranted at the time or not."

Sandra's head hangs low even as I try my utmost to keep my words level. Quietly contemplating how... odd it is to be in this position. Me reprimanding her for something. Sure, she wasn't some perfect angel back on Earth, but the times Sandra Dufort fucked up were few and far between. At least, that I remember. But in its own way, it's kind of... comforting. Seeing that my amazing older - by a minute - sister imbued with deity level powers can still mess up sometimes. That she's still human. And that even though she's still healing, she's still herself.

I lift her arms to wrap around my torso and bring her in for what feels like the hundredth hug since we began this journey of admissions. With soft, caressing hands, I stroke her hair and back as I usher forth the last bit of my own tough love. "You're going to apologize to Akiko. Either the next time she's here in my soul space, or when you finally get your body back, but I won't let this fester between the two... six... Ugh. Between all of us. And I'll tell her what we talked about here. Even if you mean what you said at the end, that you don't give a shit about anyone or anything in this universe other than me - which was sohot by the way - I still care for them."

Well, I did my best to keep the libido pinned down. Futile affair though it is when not being affected by the heart demon. I cough, keeping her in my arms so she doesn't see my slightly aroused face as I finish off, "Is that fair?"

Sandra gives a relieved giggle, her chest bouncing against mine that does not help my heating tummy in the slightest. "More than, baby girl~. I promise, I'll properly make amends with Akiko. And don't worry, I actually really like Gerra, Sam, and Jun Li."

I break the embrace after making sure that my face won't keep giving me away to how turned on I am right now, "O-oh?" Yep. Nailing it.

Another coy chuckle from my soulmate as she gives me a brief kiss, eyes fluttering back to me as she answers, "Yep~. Gerra is hilarious, I love how she just causes chaos almost any chance she can get but can still be the sweetest gal around in that southern drawl~. Her accent reminds me of home, too. Sam... well, I was kind of against her at first, I won't lie. But, after a while, that prickly nature finally relaxed and she showed just how soft of an underbelly she has~. And Jun Li? Well, she's perfect~. The best mix of 'fuck you up' and cuddle bunny that there ever was~."

Huh. At least it seems I don't have to worry about the four of them getting along then. "Wait, what about Ios then?" I ask out after a spell.

A frown crosses Sandra's face before she sighs and shakes her head. "I know you two love each other. And I'm happy you keep finding and exploring what real love is like here on Mara. But I don't trust her or her sister. And if you thought I was mad at Akiko... hoo boy..."

"R-really? I mean, I get that we started off rocky, but you shouldn't even really know about anything past a month ago, right? What has she done that's upset you?"

Sandra gives me a look. Complicated and not all in the same breath. "Aims. Her and her sister dragged us here against our will. Sure, that let us finally be together like I've always dreamed of, but the more I heal and become myself again, the angrier I get. The more that gifted blanket seems infected. We would have been just fine to keep going about our lives and cycle of souls none the wiser. Eventually meeting again and having another chance at a life together, with or without their interference. Not to mention they're trying to piggyback off our bond, which is just...." Anger flashes red in the space for a moment before she breathes out and dims the harsh hue.

"Something that upsets me to my core... Anyway, Ios... I think I'm pretty close to at least accepting her. Maybe even forgiving her, since she really was more of a... I don't want to say 'stooge' but basically that for her sister and her projects. But Ilya? Oh, me and her are going to have words when she decides to show up."

Nervousness creeps up on me, and not a small amount of concerned worry at her words. "Please, I completely understand the sentiment trust me. I had my own crash out on Ios after landing here about the very same thing. But try and keep it civil, okay? Ios might be a loveable little troll, but both of them are cosmic beings. Nerfed to hell and back or not. Not to mention they have access to the system that's stitched onto our souls, too. Besides, it sounds like you haven't even spoken to Ilya yet, so we have no clue how she acts or anything about her. Aside from some cryptic ass message I got while I was still naked and alone in a wrecked forest."

"Ugh..." She groans as she falls back on the couch. Relief flooding me as I raise a hand to my chest at a potential crisis averted when she follows up with, "Fine~... Be all smart and logical and point out how I'm being rash. Again. Meanie~."

I giggle as I dramatically fall on top of her chest first as she "oofs!" out a gasp of air. "Nuh uh~! I'm not a meanie! You're the meanie!"

"Oh yeah?" She says as she leans closer.

"Yeah~!" I say as I meet her halfway.

"Oh yeah?!" As our noses touch.

"Yea- *Mhmphf~!!*" I fail to reply as her lips crash into mine, soft rainbow light blossoming between us as we roll and chastely grope each other on the couch, just like how we started. Both of us each learning more about each other and ourselves, yet still arriving at the exact same spot.