Walking Disasters and Me

With an aching slowness, borne from both a rising fear at the feeling of immense power as well as plain nervousness at who I am about to meet, I turn to face towards the voice. However, nothing could prepare me for what I was about to bear witness to. Standing only an arms length away and radiating pure strength and depth is a beacon of pure light, the only mark of darkness being the black bonfires erupting from where her eyes should be. Long, equally blinding platinum hair waving behind her as if she was wading through a body of water adorned by a black and silver pointed crown sat firmly on the top of her head. As if someone had taken Amelia's Empress and perfectly switched around the colors.

The other physically striking thing is that she looks exactly like Amelia in proportions, although that perhaps should not be such a surprise given their relationship. Still, it is eerie beyond measure to see just how similar they are yet different at the same time. The difference being presence. Personality. While Amelia is cautious - understandably so - and reserved. Timid and shy. I sense nothing but confidence and surety from the being before me.

And while it is difficult to admit, I fear that she has no reason to feel otherwise at the moment. Just being in her proximity is already difficult beyond measure, the pressure nearly strong enough to bring me to my knees. The heat radiating off her like standing in front of a raging inferno. And, it seems, the fabric of this reality is enduring her being here worse than I. Just those brief words she has already spoken nearly enough to rip and tear seams along its foundations, the passing of time already a casualty.

Which brings me to the biggest difference between the two sisters so far. "S-Sandra? You have fully taken Raphiel's powers? That is incredibly dangerous..." I ask out warily as I turn to face her in full, trying my utmost to still any movement from my tails as well as slightly trembling hands.

"Oh, please." She responds flippantly with a wave of her hand that then rests on her saddled-out hip as the world quakes around her, "Don't make it sound so dramatic. She practically threw them at me! Besides, just cause my baby girl is scared of taking power right now doesn't mean I am. Just think of it more as Raphiel and I coming to an... agreement quicker than Aims has with *&0(@@$." My hand flies to my head as it begins throbbing, whatever she had meant to speak coming out distorted and fractured. Ripping across my psyche like a spinning blade at apparent knowledge I am not meant to know.

"So she hasn't revealed that yet, huh? Well, my bad then. Here." Sandra says after she materializes by my side, her movements silent and too quick to track. Like she just appeared next to me. A single finger comes to rest on my head, a pulse of green emanating from it and filling the space which all but silences the aching flare of pain in my mind. My eyes widen at the shift, and not just because of her sudden appearance.

Healing techniques are rare. The Village itself only has a handful of individuals capable of using them, and they are taxing on the body. We supplement that weakness by creating pills and learning mundane and Qi influenced medical practices, and by having robust networks of staff, logistics, and triage to properly treat and heal our wounded and sick. But... This sister did not even utter a word or phrase. Something that even the Empress does when channeling her power through Amelia.

"So, anyway~!" The increasingly worrisome being replies as she casually steps back again, "Don't you worry your pretty head about little old me and the fun things I can do or how I came across them for now~. I'm here to discuss something much more important:" She snaps her fingers at the end of her faux display, her voice abandoning the playful flippant tone as it takes on a harsh and dangerous edge, "Why you're fucking up so much with my sister."

Before I can attempt to offer any reasoning, we are suddenly transported to a picturesque view of a bountiful forest. My feet standing in a clearing next to a crystal clear pond which small animals and birds of all make come to frolic in as well as sup from. As I'm taking in the view, Sandra's voice echoes from above me.

There, standing upside-down on nothing but air, her hair and person unaffected by the force and pull of the land, Sandra once again raises her voice as she circles me. "While it may not be the true concept of 'Time', the moment back in the vault is still essentially frozen, so we have an eternity to talk here if we need to. And we will, if we need to. Because you are going to answer my questions."

Faster than a ray of light cresting over the horizon, she disappears from sight. Her voice that has grown colder than winter sounding out just behind me. "Firstly: Why did you let what happened in that bunker between my sister and Samantha happen?"

For the first time in centuries, I feel myself become nearly paralyzed with fear. The scrutinizing weight of her eyes that bore into the back of my skull drying my throat. The leaking killing intent that chokes the air in its purity and strength, its stayed volume hinging on my answer. All manner of creatures that were once happily going about their pseudo-lives now facing me with pure black irises as they stand stock still. Even the foliage and trees seem to lean closer, warping their bark and branches as they bear their oppressive weight down upon me and my next words.

"I... I made a mistake. When I learned my enemies had without a doubt planted spies in my home, something that led to the death of my previous soulmate, I failed to control my emotions." I manage to reply with shaky words, finding honesty the only course to chart through this maelstrom I have found myself in.

An insincere and patronizing hum of thought sounds out from the sky, following words of the same tone that wave from amber rays, "That happens a lot for you, doesn't it? Lashing out, losing your cool? Letting your emotions drive you?" Her voice echoes around the clearing, no longer in one fixed location but now omnipresent and suffocating. On every blade of grass, swirl of wind, and ray of light. "Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want my darling sister to be in love with some cold, unfeeling robot either~."

The wind whips and cuts across the clearing, the fake playfulness once more abandoned by the flaming ember of disappointment. "But fuck's sake fox. It seems like almost every week you have a meltdown. Some cascade failure of emotional control that either bleeds into and hurts Aims or the others around you. Usually both."

Her radiant and unamused form is suddenly in front of me, or had it always been there and I failed to notice? "Aren't you supposed to be centuries old? You certainly advertised yourself as this mature and wizened mentor when you first met Aims. After you drove her into a full-blown panic attack, of course." My illusory fur itches to bristle under her withering remarks, but I stand firm as she continues on. Those black bonfires staring deep into my soul as she steps forward.

"So what? Was that a lie? Because I have been in that vault ever since she showed it to me, studying and committing every. Single. Book. To memory. Months, years I've spent in that room alone. Watching that screen as her life here on Mara unfolds before my eyes. And all I can gather that you did in the time that she's had the skill and from context clues about events prior is... unimpressive. Wanting.

You gave a couple lessons on writing, you scar and traumatize her almost any chance you get so that you can make up afterwards, and you hand off the real training to the women around you while you go hide in the Sect Hall." A dangerous scowl ripples across her lips, my sweat beginning to pour as my body shifts from aggravated to terrified in an instant as venom drips from her tongue and the sky darkens.

"You're honestly just as bad as those three whores who used and manipulated her back on Earth. Worse, in some ways. Because at least they had their own agendas, fucked as they were. But you?" A hand lashes out and wraps around my throat, my knees buckling under a mountain of air distorting pressure in an instant as the forest closes in around me.

"You basically forced her into your home under the guise of offering safety from the world at large. You neglect her and then love bomb her, hurt her so that her co-dependency kicks in and drives her further into your arms. Treat her like she's some run of the mill cultivator who has potential instead of the universe defying talent and power she already is. Fail to guide her about her Berserker nature, even though you're apparently the only one on this side of Mara who could. Run off to play paperwork simulator while your lovers do the actual job of teaching her what she needs to know."

She pauses as she begins to squeeze, air arresting in my throat as my eyes widen, "And the worst part?" Her voice quiets as the black bonfires rage into an inferno, "You're doing it all unintentionally. Carelessly. Seemingly not a single fucking thought about the consequences of your actions going through that fuzzy mind of yours before you leap into the next shit show. The next apology. The next chance to wind her around your little. Fucking. Fingers."

I fight the urge to struggle in her unyielding grip, knowing that is futile anyway. That she could easily end me at any moment. Instead, I stare forward towards her as best I can with fading vision before she leans in and whispers against my ear, "For all you preach about togetherness, and honesty, and love, all I see is a scared and confused woman who doesn't know her own priorities. Who is emotionally fragile and unsure of herself. Who is taking advantage of an even more scared, confused, and lost young woman a fraction of her age for her own gain. Who chose work and duty over the person she is supposedly soul bonded to. Who makes up for her absence and failures by plucking the heart strings until all is well and good in the world~. And I will be erased from existence before I let ANY of that continue now that we've met."

Just as my vision begins to fully blacken, the finger made noose around my neck releases its hold and the pressure subduing me subsides to nothing. In terrified, gasping breaths, my mind begins to clear as Sandra looks down on me. "So. Anything to say in your defense? Or do we just skip straight to the part where I tell you how things are going to go now?"

I warily stand with trembling legs and tails, my ears flat against my head as a hand comes to rub against the indents still left on my avatar's neck. I look back to the indifferent frown of Sandra, her arms crossed as she waits for my response.

"I can understand," I begin cautiously, "how some of my actions as well as failures could be construed as you have described, Sandra. But I would never treat Amelia how you make it out and imagine it in your mind. The very thought of taking advantage of her kindness and forgiving nature sickens me." I say with a snarl, only being met by a scoff though she lets me continue.

"I have also never espoused to be perfect, Sandra. Something you should know if you have indeed committed her library to memory. As for my emotions..." I can't help but break from her gaze, knowing that at least in that assessment, she is correct. "It is as you say, they are indeed volatile at the moment. Hard to reign in when the right pressures are applied. Something that is a recent development, one I believe is borne from the young connection between Amelia and I. Something that I must learn to control once more."

"And instead of doing that, for the betterment of not just yourself but for my sister as well, you're... what? Sitting at a desk all hours of the day and night? Mitigating the fuck ups of your own subordinates? Flying half a day away to go ballistic on some visitors instead of meeting them behind the safety of the Village's barrier? Losing control of yourself so badly that Amelia assaults Samantha while you're off galivanting around who knows where? Instead of taking the knowledge that the Village was compromised and returning to root out any spies with ease? This is what I mean, Akiko!"

She says with a dissatisfied air, her finger poking me hard enough in the chest to nearly topple me over, "You talk the right talk. Know exactly what to say and how to say it. Use the perfect words and emotional pleas to get your ass out of the frying pan and back into my sister's bed. But everysingle time something important happens, you choose the absolute wrong fucking choice! The cave, the coup and dealing with the Shadow branch afterwards, constantly underestimating Aims, not teaching her about her nature, trying to seal her away in your little pleasure basement after the tribulation, how you handled the attack on the Village! I could go on, but in every single one of those events, you objectively made the wrongdecision!"

Another finger jabbed into my sternum for each coming sentence as the enraged woman stalks forward on my retreating steps, "I don't think I have to explain how you fucked up in the cave by this point. You should have just killed every single Shadow branch member after the coup, and anyone they associated with. You never evaluate Aims properly, which means she is blindsided when she outperforms in something and then gets scared of herself as a result. Not to mention the COLOSSAL fucking fumble that is you failing to teach her how to reign in her Intent. Something that you DOpreach and hem and haw on the importance of yet haven't done a single god damned thing to address properly.

You tried to lock her in a fucking dungeonjust because she did the exact same thing you were going to do basically three weeks later. Except she still had more control than you did when it happened to her. And for the life of me, I cannot fathom how that attack on the Village lasted more than a fuckingmillisecond. You should have wiped them off the face of Mara the second they made their intentions known. Flown to their Sects and annihilated everyone involved. The fact that it took you two weeks to repel the attack and still let some of them escape is just bafflingly incompetent. Weaponized even. Like you wanted an excuse to be apart from Aims after your shitty and unwarranted little freak out on her right after she woke up from her tribulation. The same shitty freak out that - somehow - made the two of you become soul bonded despite the events leading up to it."

"That isn't how things are done on Mara, Sandra. There are other things to consider for-" I begin to reply before the world snaps and breaks. The wildlife and flora disappearing in an instant, replaced by a white void. Ripples of light, and vines, and white, and music all crashing and folding reality like a scrap piece of paper as Sandra's form rises and fills to rival a mountain.

With a voice that nearly tears me apart to the core, her thundering commandment echoes from on high, "WRONG!! THERE ARE NO OTHER THINGS TO CONSIDER. My sister is the ONLY concern! From the moment she came here, the math of this ENTIRE world changed. This entire UNIVERSE. THAT is what you are failing to understand, Akiko! That is WHY you are failing! That is HOW you are failing! And that is why I am so absolutely fucking LIVID with you! YOU ARE MAKING A MOCKERY OF THE BOND SHE AND I SHARE, AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT ANYMORE!!"

The reality around us quakes, the faint yet present tears in its woven make finally sundering open under her wrath. Fractals and colors with no names spill from their ripped seams, floating around us as the ground gives way. Towering trees with world spanning roots sheltering beast and being, unidentifiable yet everywhere as everything that lives in every reality turns its gaze upon me. The white void somehow getting brighter, burning my skin under the heat of a thousand suns. All the while Sandra's towering form stares down at me in unbridled rage, hair waving in the air like snakes as her pitiless black fire eyes regard me in the highest form of contempt amidst the crash of instruments too numerous and discordant to count.

With a huff, the violent outrage cools into something glacial as the pressure descends once more, reality instantly repairing itself as she waves a hand. Looking down to my trembling body, she begins again with unmasked disdain, "I could excuse you from seeing the value of Amelia at first. Her uniqueness overshadowed by the fragile 'rabbit' that she was as her healing mind began to repair itself. But after two months?!YOU are why she is struggling. Why she is so distraught and lost. Why she struggles to even kiss you, or me, or Ios now. Why she has another of those FUCKING abominations latched to her heart."

My cowering body shivers beneath her, tails wrapped around myself as my ears shiver flatly against my scalp. Not just from the enraged Sandra's towering form nor the outburst of her true feelings towards me, but the words that nearly ruptured my hearing. Their sentiment echoing my previous thoughts of failure even though I foolishly tried to defend them just now. But more than that, my heart sinks at the mention of the new heart demon inside of Amelia. A concrete proof of my failures as well as Sandra's scathing review of myself.

The space slowly returns to its forested canopy, something I struggle to notice as my tais coil around me on protective instinct as Sandra's presence draws closer. Her voice still distorted and powerful, but having lost its overwhelming strength as she speaks from what sounds like only a few paces away.

"You've fucked up, Akiko. Repeatedly and a lot. I'm giving you one more chance to get your shit together. One more try to prove not just to my sister, but to me as well as yourself that you can actually follow through on what you promised her. That you will treat her like she deserves to be treated. No more emotional manipulation shit, even if it's unintentional. No more losing yourself and making her become lost in turn."

Hands easily puncture through my tails, grabbing onto my shoulders as they lift me up effortlessly. My terrified face now gazing once more unto the walking disaster that is Sandra. "You will watch the memory. You will burn it into your fucking mind. Sear it into your skull. See and feel it when you sleep. Relive it whenever you close your eyes or so much as kiss Gerra, Jun Li, or Samantha. Because that is what Aims is going through. That is what that ugly fucking monster in her chest is forcing her to feel and see, every time she tries to show any amount of love now. And it was your carelessness that led to it happening."

I blink, the meadow now replaced by the towering shelves of Amelia's skill, my face once more looking up at the large blank space occupying the wall. Just as I'm about to loose a shaky breath full of complicated and heavy emotions from my shivering body, Sandra's voice whispers in my ear, her tone making the empty cold of space jealous as I yelp in alarm. "This world does not matter to me, fox. This universe doesn't either. Both only hold the value that my baby girl places in them. I'd suggest you get on board with that thinking too and quit playing with fucking kid gloves towards anyone or anything that threatens her."

In a final warning, her words pierce directly into my mind, my eyes going wide at the intrusion as the syllables resonate inside my soul. "Do not fail her again. Or you will find out why Raphiel was so eager to give up her powers to me after we met."

I turn to look back; my attention being pulled behind me unbiddenly. All that is left as a reminder of Sandra's presence is a wide, smiling face filled with razor sharp teeth outlined in black fumes that encompasses the whole universe behind me. Soulless black spiraling eyes peering down at me that quake my soul in their ferocity. In their madness. Eventually, they too fade into the background on the haunting sound of horn and string, the flow of time returning to normal as I finally release the illusory content of my avatar's stomach.