Chapter 276: The Deep End
Rosalyn Losenska
Rosalyn was a bit confused about why Kat and Ann were freaking out. Hadn’t they noticed that she’d been doing things like this? I mean, sure, they were mostly just cuts in her skin, and she’d been using healing potions to make sure she wasn’t actually hurt, but there were still signs. Yeah, this was a bit more than that, but that’s why she’d taken her own space to see what happened. Not that she didn’t trust her girlfriends, but she also knew that this was a bit more than they’d understand. If there was anything she didn’t want, it was to worry those two, who had so much already on their shoulders.
They totally don’t get it, Xirali always said grumpily. We’re pushing horizons people’ve been so scared about for so long that the research has stagnated! We’re the only ones who get it!
The satyr was right, to some degree. Ann was something so strange that the world didn’t believe it possible. A stable person who was half or increasingly Warped. If it could happen once, it could probably happen again. She’d been looking for the reason why Warped were the way they were for most of her life. Ann had opened so many doorways and windows into what was happening that her own research had jumped leaps and bounds.
If this whole thing was divine in origin, then that meant there was probably some intent to it. If that was the case, then their will was manifesting through physical modifications to a creature. The mental changes seemed to be a byproduct of those who either couldn’t handle the intense pain of the transformation or had something unlocked in them from the Goddess coming into contact with their being during transformation.
The theory had sparked a while ago, before Xirali had even come into her soul. What if adding portions of a Warped to someone’s body could start some shifts in their physiology? Grafts or even transfusions might have some minor effects. If that were the case, then could they find a balance that’d immunise people to the curse? A little bit of corruption to strengthen the body against more of it? Ann, marinating in a corrupted Seed for millennia, had all but confirmed what she’d thought.
Then Xirali came along, and she’d gotten a taste of what that pain and fear was like. The natural way it went, for the most part, but also much slower. She was still her own person, and she’d made absolutely sure of that. Her body had started to alter, but nothing had changed mentally that she could notice. Heck, she had a research partner now. Someone on the other side just as interested in her work! Sure, Xirali got really overexcited and went overboard sometimes, but they’d handled that. The goat woman hadn’t even touched her since the incident with the “tree”.
Speaking of the “tree”, that was part of why she was doing this current experiment. A tree inside her soul had been replaced by some twisted version that was definitely not native. What happened if something like that happened in the real world? Would it affect inside her? Maybe putting this little piece of root she’d snagged off the last fight into herself would cause something to happen? It was dead, maybe, but it was a plant. Cutting off the root from the host might have stopped the control, but plants lived for a while even after they were cut off from their roots as long as nutrition and water were provided.
The current experiment was to see if attaching that to something similar would possibly rejuvenate it or integrate it. Yeah, normally she’d be trying this with a test animal or something, but she wasn’t going to do that to Keit. Her options, therefore, were limited. She knew the risks and what she’d be putting herself through, so Rosalyn had decided that she was the best option.
It’s also not like this didn’t hurt. It did! A lot! Still, her weeks and months with Ann had taught her that pain wasn’t really a bad thing. If you kinda just accepted it, you could get over it and keep going. Heck, you could even enjoy it if it came with other fun stuff. Tonight’s was a necessary pain, though. Couldn’t do what she wanted without some cutting.
Her knife lay there by her side, covered in her own blood. She’d been very careful not to hit anything vital. Her extensive practical research and recent learning had prepared her for that. She’d gotten through her dermal and fat layers (she was losing a good amount of weight again, she’d noticed) and then slipped open the abdominal muscles to get into the sheathed organs beneath via the linea alba near and around the belly button. Tissue like that would also heal way easier than muscle. Heck, the incision wasn’t that big, either. It just looked bad.
Bren came running when Ann screamed for him. Kat wouldn’t stop holding her still. Both were freaking out so much.
“Girls, really. I’m fine. Let me just…”
Kat caught her wrist in a grip that actually hurt more than her stomach. “Nae. Ye will sit ‘ere an ye will not move a feckin’ muscle!” Rosalyn hadn’t heard her so angry before. Well, maybe once or twice. Ann had sounded that angry when Eldest of All had scared her.
“I was going to put it back in,” Rosalyn explained. “I’ve got a healing potion right there.” She had to nod towards it with her head. “Come on. Help me, sweetheart?”
Kat’s eye was so conflicted. There was so much confusion, anger, and fear in there that Rosalyn had a hard time figuring out which one she’d get. She wasn’t the best at reading people on the best of days. Tonight was not the best night.
Bren cursed when he saw her. His hands were glowing before he even got close enough to see what was happening. Rosalyn struggled against Kat’s hands, trying to get her guts back inside before the magic made it more difficult, but she was held still.
“Kat. Let go! If he’s healing, I need to get it all back in!”
“Bren, stop healin’ an’ look at ‘er,” Kat shouted. Was she crying? It was dark, and Rosalyn didn’t have the best vision in the dark.
“What’s happening?” Oh! Minnie was here! This was embarrassing.
“Minnie, just… give us a minute,” Ann said, intercepting the woman before she got close enough.
“I’m fine!” Rosalyn called, flinching as her nerves twinged with the movement. “Don’t worry! We’ll be back in a minute!”
Lucia was there in the next moment to bring the woman back to the camp.
“Fuck, Rosalyn, why?” Ann said breathlessly. Why was she out of breath? She hadn’t run anywhere. “I… what the fuck?”
“What? I’m testing theories on Warped activity and how the corruption spreads within a living host not exposed to the aura of a Seed, and not in your weird situation where you’ve got a lot of god magic protecting and balancing you out after a really long time in a Seed.”
“Xirali did this. She had to have fucking done it. I’m going to tear that piece of shit goat apart,” Ann snarled. She wasn’t listening. Rosalyn had just explained it all.
They don’t get us.
Rosalyn was not entirely sure if the thought was hers or Xirali’s. It struck a chord, though. One that had been sensitive for her entire life.
None of them understands us.
“Ann,” Rosalyn pleaded. “Listen to me!”
“By the Gods,” Bren gasped as he rounded her front. “Hold her still, Kat. Ann, I need your help here. Intestines aren’t particular about where they are in the cavity, but I’m not dexterous enough to feed them back in without hurting her further.”
“Guys!”
“You will be silent until you are healed!” Bren snapped. Rosalyn had very rarely seen him angry, but never directed at herself. It scared her. Her hands started to shake.
“Whu?”
Bren didn’t answer her confused bleat. Instead, he took some of her innards and held them up to inspect. “Ann, you can see better than I can. See anything that shouldn’t be here?”
“No,” Ann said, her hands also stained red. “No, I don’t think anything else is mixed in. We’re good.”
“Alright. Slowly, now. Rushing will make something pinch, and she’ll tense.”
“She has a fucking hole in her, Bren!” Ann cried. They were talking like she wasn’t even there.
“I’d like to keep it to one! And this big!” Bren shot back. “Now gently push them back in! I’ll feed you the slack.”
Slack. Like rope. Well, Rosalyn guessed guts were kinda ropey when you thought about them. Long, thin, and surprisingly strong when you pulled against them. If they’d let her help, she could make this go so much faster. Kat’s steel grip on her arms stopped that.
Rosalyn winced as Ann’s fingers prodded the incision she’d made. They were so gentle, even in her panic. Orenous had really blessed her with the Lupine woman. Still, she was listening to that little voice that said she wasn’t right for Ann. I mean, look at them right now. Rosalyn was completely in control, and Ann was almost sobbing. Rosalyn was scared of a lot of things, but this wasn’t one of them. If you just got past how much it hurt to get through the skin, it was kinda neat!
“Hold still, sweetheart,” Ann crooned. Her voice was also shaking, but her hands were as steady as ever. “I’ve almost got you.”
Rosalyn sat there, flinching now and then, but just let it happen.
Finally, Bren’s healing sealed her up; she felt her abs tighten slightly as the muscles got back to the right spots, and it was done.
“Can I get up?”
“Nae,” Came Kat’s choked voice from behind her. Oh, by Orenous, she really was crying.
“Shhh,” Rosalyn said softly. She twisted one of her hands to gently pat the woman’s scaled forearm. “Shh, it’s ok. I’m fine. Nothing to worry about, darling.”
“How can you say that?” Ann wept. “H-how can you say that after what you just did? Rosalyn, you cut yourself! Cut yourself open!”
“Not like it’s the first time,” Rosalyn grumbled. It was time to come clean with all of this, she guessed. “How else do you think I’ve learned about some of this stuff?”
Ann’s wet eyes went wide, then glanced at whatever Kat was looking like behind Rosalyn, then back to her. She took Rosalyn’s hand from Kat and gently lowered it to a more comfortable position between them. “How much? For how long?”
“Um, gosh, it’s been about three… was some time when we were in Korvas I started messing around. It’s not XIrali’s fault! I was doing this without her, but she was just giving some pointers because I was thinking of ways to keep going with the experiments and everything was so interesting since this is kinda crazy because we’re so different and new compared to everyone else that’s been going through Warping that I couldn’t stop and didn’t think and honestly it didn’t hurt all that much plus with potions that I could get without any trouble I could just heal it up afterwards so I just keep going you know?”
Ann just sat there, looking at her. That blank look made Rosalyn flinch. She’d said the wrong things. It was the truth, though! Had Ann wanted her to lie? Would that have made her feel better? Oh, her eyes were glowing! She was using Lover’s Intuition. That’d help clear things up. Rosalyn definitely wanted this to be over faster. She tried to push that want to the front of her mind.
Then she felt something else. Ann’s eyes were glowing brighter than before. Actually, they were really bright. Rosalyn’s skin was nearly invisible in the darkness, but she was seeing some light reflecting off the sweat.
“Do you trust me?” Ann asked.
Rosalyn nodded. She didn’t expect Ann to frown at that. What was happening? It was like something was poking at her… insides, but not?
“Please don’t freak out. Relax and let me in,” Ann said.
Rosalyn wasn’t exactly sure what was happening. Still, she did trust Ann. Maybe not with everything, she had to admit, but she did love the woman and knew she only wanted the best for her. With that, she just let whatever was happening happen.
“Catch me if I fall” was the last thing she heard Ann say before her world constricted to a pinprick. That pinprick stayed there for a moment, a purple one off in the distance, before it exploded into the familiar scenery of her soul.
Rosalyn looked around, confused. She hadn’t tried to come here. Had… had Ann pulled her here? She could do that?
“Hey! What’re you doing here?” Xirali asked, hopping up from the stream. She was naked and soaked, but shook the water off her curls. “Didn’t think you were asleep. How’d the experiment go with the root? I didn’t notice anything new”
A dark shadow exploded from behind the tree as Xirali passed. Claws sank into the woman’s chest as Ann, darker than Rosalyn was used to and far more canine, slammed the woman into the ground.
“WHAT DID YOU DO?” the beast roared. Her teeth were so large, and her face was slightly elongated, creating a pseudo-muzzle. The fur on her back was bristling, floating upwards in an almost smoky pattern as it rose skyward. Her chestnut skin was whirling with the same black, smoky fur, and her legs looked larger. Was this what Ann looked like inside her own soul?
Xirali screamed, trying to get away from the predator latched onto her. She kicked at Ann, beating her with fists that looked puny. Suddenly, she laughed and disappeared.
Rosalyn looked around. Where’d she go? She hadn’t done that before. Was she in the woods or something?
Ann’s head whipped towards the river, a vicious snarl escaping her lips. “I can still smell you. Get back here before I tear your throat out!”
“Ann!” Rosalyn cried.
Ann started running, her powerful legs making short work of the distance between them and the babbling brook. Too fast for Rosalyn.
Well, it had been. Rosalyn tried to use her new spell and found herself flying through the air as she chased her feral lover. “Ann!” she shouted again.
Ann hit something with one of her claws, spun with it, and slammed it back down into the rocky shore of the river. “Found you. TELL ME WHAT YOU DID TO HER!”
Xirali appeared, blood leaking from her chest as a new set of holes got punched into her flesh. “Nothing…” she coughed. Might be a punctured lung. Did she even have lungs? “Nothing she wasn’t already.”
“Bullshit! Why the fuck did she not tell us any of that?” Ann hit the woman in her claw. Xirali’s head snapped to the side, but she didn’t stop laughing.
“ANN!” Rosalyn screamed as she slammed into her girlfriend’s back. The force sent them both tumbling. Ann went into the river while Rosalyn bounced off the shore and into a bush. Xirali just lay there, giggling.
“WHAT?” Ann shouted, exploding from the water. Her eyes were purple beacons of rage.
“She didn’t do it!”
Ann looked like she was about to shout something back, but caught herself. “Then why? Why the fuck would you hide something like this? No. She had to. Something is wrong. You wouldn’t hide this.”
Rosalyn looked at her feet. Ann trusted her so completely, and she’d betrayed that. She’d gone around, sneaking pieces off of Warped and not telling her about other things she was doing. It all hit her right there and then. She’d taken advantage of Ann’s love.
“She didn’t,” Rosalyn repeated, her voice quiet.
“What?”
“She didn’t,” Rosalyn repeated. She felt like she was going to be sick. Her arms wrapped around her stomach, and she tried not to cry. “I didn’t want to tell you. I… I was scared.”
Ann’s form changed. The bristling beast receded, and Ann stood there. Just Ann, as she’d always been. Her brow was knit, her eyes back to their normal green as they begged the question.
“I just… You know I don’t… fit in with people? I… I didn’t think you’d understand. I… well, she agreed. It was so nice to have someone who seemed like they really got what I was thinking, and I just listened, ok? I listened, and I… I did things th-that I di-shouldn’t have. I was scared you’d be scared of me.”
Ann stumbled and fell to her knees in the creek. She was crying. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she just looked at Rosalyn. It took a while, them just sitting there while Xirali laughed in the background. “You could have told me.”
They were back in the real world. Ann was in Bren’s arms. She’d fallen over. She was crying.
“Ann, the feck happened?” Kat demanded.
Ann kept sobbing.
“What happened?” Kat asked, turning Rosalyn’s head. There was so much fear and fury in that singular eye.
“I told her the truth.” Rosalyn felt numb. She was so far beyond scared at this point she couldn’t even shake.
“What truth?” Kat growled. Not her, too.
“I lied. I’ve been doing this for a while. Not the guts, but smaller stuff too. I hid it because I didn’t think you two would like it or understand why.”
“And Xirali?”
“She… might have encouraged it. I don’t know. My head is so messed up right now.” Oh, great, now she was starting to cry. “What did I do, Kat? How did this happen? Why’d I get here?”
“You three need a very long talk,” Bren said, still holding Ann as she wept. “For now, let’s get these two back to your tent, Kat. I’ll set up the sound bugs for you. Lucia, Minni, and I will keep watch for tonight. No mining tomorrow. We need you three to figure out what happened.”
“Aye.” Kat’s voice was flat. “We do.”
Kat’s arms lifted Rosalyn like a baby. She’d felt so safe in those arms just earlier today, but now she was nervous in them. She looked up into the blue eye. It was so sad. “I’m sorry.”
Kat nodded. “I know. We’ve got to talk.”