The Simulacrum

Pretty much the whole hotel was requisitioned for our use, and despite it being the effective nerve center of our impromptu blitzkrieg of the Abyss, there weren't frantic people running around with maps and stacks of papers, nor gruff commanding officer types yelling orders into radio transmitters.

In fact, since the leaders of all of the supernatural blocs in the World of Mystics operated on the 'Asskicking Equals Authority' trope, it meant most of them were out there on the front lines of the conflict. Since those were far away, all over the island, the hotel was surprisingly tranquil.

But then we finally reached the room where Sir Roland was staying, and as we entered, I passed through a thin film of colourless magic, and then I finally realised what was going on.

"Riiight. Privacy magic," I noted absently as I looked around, but I only found Roland and Brang in the chamber. I expected more.

The old Faun greeted me with a subdued, "Blackcloak," accompanied by a quick salute, while the Knight remained seated on the couch, identical to the one in the room I just came from.

"Finally," he murmured under his moustache and gestured for Karukk. He waited until he closed the door, and only then did he look me in the eye. "Was all of this really necessary?"

"Define 'all of this', please," I requested back, but it was obvious he wasn't in the mood for verbal games, so I walked over to the empty sofa and took a seat. "I admit, things got a bit more complicated than expected, but it worked out in the end. More or less."

Sir Roland squinted at me, then he glanced at Brang, as if expecting him to say something. When he didn't, he exhaled a long sigh and rubbed his temple.

"Let's be frank now. Was taking over the Abyss part of your plan all along?"

"No, not really," I admitted, trying not to sound too sheepish. "I was only planning to play along with Josh's plan and have you guys establish a beachhead in the Abyss and help clean up the mess after the big battle, but then I got myself tangled up in something else, one development followed another, and things got a little out of hand."

"An understatement, if I've ever heard one." Roland didn't take his eyes off my face for a moment, and then he finally broached the main topic (or so I presumed) by flatly asking, "Did you succeed in killing off your Bel alter ego?"

"Straight to the point, eh? Also, yes. It didn't go as smoothly as expected, but I've got credible witnesses, so it should work out."

"Good. It was a major liability, but was letting yourself be kidnapped, drawing your friends into the fray, and starting a war really necessary to achieve that?"

"Well, no, but I had other considerations as well."

"Such as?"

"Metaphysical stuff. It would take too long to explain."

My attempt to dodge the question fell flat, and it looked like Roland was just about to unload his pent-up frustration on me, but then we were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Come in," I said reflexively, only to realise that with the privacy spell blanketing the room, they couldn’t have heard me on the outside. Karukk, on the other hand, could, and he graciously opened the door.

"I'm back!" Tajana declared the moment she exploded into the room, looking a bit dishevelled but also way more energetic than usual. She was back in her rather flattering gothic style dress from way back when, along with a pair of large wire-frame glasses, and she finally looked the young but capable spymaster back in her element. At least until she noticed me. "Aaah! S-Sorry, I didn't expect to see you here!"

Roland's expression was inscrutable, though I could tell from the subtle twitching of his brows and the corners of his lips that he was simultaneously annoyed by the interruption and amused by Tajana's flustered reaction.

"Welcome back. Anything to report?" Brang spoke up on the side, clearly trying to move the conversation along before things could get awkward.

"Ah, yes!" She clapped her hands, as if to delineate the start of a new discussion, and turned to the seated Knight on the couch. "I arranged to transport the captured aristocrats to the Chasm of Desolation, but I still don't know where we could house all the soldiers and Fauns we captured here in New Larsa."

"Temporary camp? Outside the city?" Brang proposed, but Tajana shook her head.

"No, that doesn't work either. We have the space, but the tribunals could take weeks, if not longer. We can't just make them sleep on the ground in the middle of a field!"

"We're already running short on rations and bedrolls meant for the civilian relief effort," Roland groaned as he started rubbing his temples again. "Even if we use our supply chains in the Draconic Federation, it would take days for them to arrive."

"No rain. Civilians can sleep in ruins," Karukk proposed, only to shrink back with, "Just idea," the moment both Roland and Tajana glared at him.

"We can't have that," the man stated emphatically. "We're already an invading force; we have to at least show that we're here as allies, not as conquerors. We can't have the whole population turn on us."

"But if we don't do something about that, we're going to have a lot of hungry and desperate war prisoners on our hands ready to resist to the bitter end," Tajana added, and Roland let out a hum in agreement, even as his eyes remained on me with a 'You see? Starting a war was a bad idea!' kind of scowl on his brow.

"Ask the Axis of Evil for support," I proposed on the spot, making everyone in the room, even Brang, look at me funny. "You know? The guys accompanying Bel, who kept pestering Josh and the others for a while? They should have a lot of surplus tents and beds and stuff."

After all, before Coepi Urbs was fully realised, I brought a crapton of those into the Abyss and Bel-me, and most of them were already packed up and gathering dust in a depo.

Roland looked like he was already putting two and two together, just by me mentioning Bel beforehand, but Tajana remained unconvinced.

"How do you know that?" However, before I could answer that, she hurriedly waved her hand and changed the question to, "Are they going to cooperate?"

"Sure. Just tell them I sent you." Once again, everyone was looking at me with a mixture of suspicion and confusion, so I explained, "We reached an understanding. They are the honour guard of the Emperor of the Abyss. That's Ollie, and as his guardian and honorary uncle, it means I can tell them stuff, and they get it done. It's very straightforward like that."

"Ollie? Do you mean the heir of House Ashur you came here to rescue?" Roland blurted out, closely followed by Tajana's next question.

"Since when is he the Emperor!?"

"Since this morning," I told her, then faced Roland and tagged on an insistent, "As I said, there were a lot of unforeseen developments I had to work around."

"I can see that."

In the meantime, the young spymaster finally digested what I said, and she rubbed her face before asking, "I understand. I'll go and try to find them, and… Where's Lord Éolienne right now?"

"Back in our suite, with the girls and Josh."

"Is My Lady there as well?"

"Obviously."

She hesitated for a moment, but then she balled up a fist and declared, "In that case, this is a good opportunity to pay them a visit, too!"

"… I can't seem to think of a reason why you couldn't do that beforehand, but you do you."

She nodded with gratuitous elan and a dramatic, "So I shall!" and she turned on her heel to leave, only to come to a stop after a single step and glance over her shoulder, right at Roland. "L-Let's talk about that other thing later, okay?"

"Sure," he said, with a kind of world-weary resignation.

She then let out a soft hum and left, and only when she was already outside did I realise that I had forgotten to tell her that the Matron was also in the room. Oh well. It's not like she can miss her.

More importantly…

"Other thing?" I asked, but Roland dismissed me with a soft grunt.

"A personal topic. We don't have time for it right now."

"Oh?" Brang muttered on the side and flashed a toothy grin. "Congratulations?"

"Not now, general," Roland snapped, then he linked his fingers and gave me a good stare before asking, "Do they know?"

"… Can you be a bit more specific?"

Another grunt later, he clarified, "Do the 'Axis of Evil' know that you and Bel of the Abyss are one and the same?"

"Oh, that? It's a bit complicated, but…" His brows were hovering dangerously close to descending into an outright glare, so I showed my palms and told him, "Technically speaking, they are under the impression that I killed and took over the identity of Bel through a hare-brained multi-dimensional time-travel body-hijack scheme, which… isn't that far removed from the truth, now that I think about it, but technically speaking, they know."

"Oh, for the love of god, Leonard," Sir Roland burst out, already palming his face. "Yet another layer of deception and cover story? Do you never learn?"

"Hey! You speak like it didn't work out so far."

"That 'so far' is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence," he said with a deadpan frown and finally let his hand down. "Can we trust them?"

"They are good guys, and most of them more or less owe their lives to me, so it should work out fine. I trust that they won't let it slip, and even if they do, I'll just say I used my super-special-awesome illusion powers to impersonate Bel and sow chaos in Crowy's ranks."

"And another layer…" Roland grumbled, followed by a slightly less judgmental, "What if their loyalties conflict?"

"Loyalties to whom?"

He sent me a critical look, followed by an exasperated sigh.

"The leadership of their Abyssal Houses, for a start."

"Oh, that. I don't think we're going to have much trouble with that," I told him off-handedly and started counting on my fingers, a habit I picked up from the princess. "I mean, we have Chayson, who's third in line for House Enlil. With the rest of his family being caught during the last-minute betrayal of the Noble Alliance, I think now he's at the top of the succession chain. Same for Arrie and Crevvie from House Gula, now that I think about it, thought I didn't exactly know how close they were to being the next House Head. As for Hameau, I got her out of the Nergals' prison where her younger brother put her during their succession-squabbles, so she should be fine too, and then there's the…" I wanted to continue, but then I noticed that the stare Roland was giving me subtly changed, so I blurted out a slightly confused, "What?"

"Are these people all members of the 'Axis of Evil'?"

"Yeah? Obviously."

"And all of them just happen to be high nobles and heirs poised to take control of their houses after the dust settles."

"Well, no, they don't just 'happen to be'."

I mean, I needed people who were strong enough to provide a genuine challenge to the gang, especially the rapidly growing Josh, and the Abyss operated on the also prevalent 'Authority Equals Asskicking' trope, meaning if I wanted powerful fighters, I had to look among the Abyssal aristocracy. The fact that getting them out of sticky situations during encounters with Crowy or other stereotypical noble backstabbery scenarios also left them eternally grateful towards Bel-me only made the selection process simpler

Unfortunately, before I could clarify any of this, Roland already let out a throaty groan followed by an annoyed, "And you told me you weren't planning on taking over the Abyss from the beginning. With a straight face. And I almost bought it."

"Hey, listen. I—"

And then, just as I was about to get a proper word in, someone knocked on the door again, and Karukk automatically opened it up, stuffing my objections back down my throat before they could leave it.

"Sir Griffon. Lord Polemos."

The one stepping through the doorway was Tsephanyah, clad in his usual purple toga and looking rather dignified, despite the dark circles under his eyes. He was closely followed by Jaakobah, who looked pretty much the same as usual.

"Sir Sumboulos," Roland responded graciously, followed by a slightly less polite, "Your arrival was somewhat ill-timed."

"Is that so. My apologies." Tsephanyah sounded as sincere as a used car salesman, but I was used to it, and by the looks of it, so was Roland. He waited until Karukk closed the door behind him, and he turned to face me. "I was looking for you, O Archon."

"Were you now?" I asked back, and he gave me a deep nod in return.

"Indeed. I was told by Her Grace that you came to visit your right-hand man, so I took the liberty to seek you out in person." The mention of 'right-hand man' was a very transparent attempt to butter up Roland, but he remained entirely stone-faced. "Please forgive the interruption, but I believe this is a vital enquiry that requires an immediate answer, as the entire nature of this campaign is dependent upon it."

"You're dressing this up a lot," I noted with mild distaste. "Stop beating around the bush and just say it as it is."

"Straightforward and decisive, as always," the blonde Celestial bigwig said with a smile, then he pointedly cleared his throat. "Please allow me to be frank, then. Do you wish for us, and by 'us' I mean the combined forces of Elysium and the Draconic Federation, to permanently take over the Abyss?"

"… No?"

Despite answering his question in a less-than-confident manner, he nodded along like he already expected it.

"Yes, I have surmised as much from your orders to Sumboulos Mensah as well. Do I presume that you are planning to install a puppet-government?"

"That was exactly what we were discussing," Roland noted on the side, and I would've snapped at him if it wasn't more important to clear up this misunderstanding.

"No, not at all. We're only going to stop the civil war and ensure a peaceful transition until… Éolienne gets on the throne, I guess."

Once again, my response wasn't exactly water-tight, but he smiled and responded like it was exactly what he expected.

"Ah, yes. The young boy you took under your wing. My understanding is that he's been granted the mantle of emperorship by an unforeseen twist of fate, making him something akin to an Abyssal Archon. A truly unexpected development."

His tone was just a wink away from one of those 'if you know what I mean' kind of punchlines, but Roland beat me to it by saying, "Yes. Leonard apparently faced a lot of such 'unexpected developments' lately."

"Indeed, indeed," Tsephanyah said with a knowing smile, followed by a deferential, "I have heard the Archon's will, and everything shall be done accordingly." He paused there for a second, then tagged on, with just a hint of telegraphed hesitation, "I just hope that Sumboulos Mensah won't get too zealous, and—"

"Ah, thanks for reminding me," I cut him off and turned to the phlegmatic man standing slightly behind him. "Jaakobah?"

"Yes, Lord Archon?"

"Can I ask you to look into what Mensah is doing? Specifically, if he's been giving any orders related to digging, high explosives, or both?"

He didn't ask any questions and only saluted with a curt, "As you command."

Seeing that, I turned back to Tsephanyah and slightly tilted my head.

"Any other questions or anything to report?"

"No, nothing else, O Archon. The conquest—" He suddenly let out a cough, then started again. "The peacekeeping efforts within the Abyss are proceeding as projected. I only wished to learn your… grander strategic designs, to ascertain that we wouldn't inadvertently displease you with our actions."

"Good initiative, but I can't help but feel that we're—"

"Kihihi! Boss, listen to—" The door was slammed open, nearly hitting Karukk in the nose when a familiar face marched in, only to come to a screeching halt. "Ah? Sorry, did we interrupt?"

Behind Fred, Galatea subtly rolled her eyes and said, "Master? My emotional co-processing units have indicated that there's an eighty-seven-point-nine percent chance that you have created an awkward situation. I recommend feeling ashamed."

"Oh, stop it!" our neighbourhood mad scientist snapped at her, while the ex-Director used the opportunity to slink back with a knowing smile.

"No, don't mind us. We were just about to leave," he said with a shallow bow, and he retreated through the door along with Jaakobah, the two of them muttering a canned 'Long live the Second True Archon' before closing the door behind themselves.

"Master? I believe the probability of this situation being awkward has just risen to ninety-six-point-eight percent. I recommend nervous shuffling."

"Easy, you two," I said with a sigh, and waited for Roland to finish grumbling about how 'Everyone's just coming and going as they please' before I addressed Fred again. "So? Were you looking for me?"

"Kihihi! That's right!" he exclaimed and rubbed his hands together. "You see, Boss, the preliminary readings are just in, and I wanted to tell you about them, but then when I started looking for you, I was sent to your room, but you weren't there, so I told the missuses about it, and said I should tell you about this in person, so here we are!"

While he was saying that, he started making pointing gestures with both of his hands, and when he finished, they ended up aimed at me like a pair of finger-guns. There was a long beat of silence, then Galatea spoke up.

"Please forgive Master's behaviour, Grandmaster. Master has been intaking too much caffeine over the past two days in preparation for today's operation."

"There's no such thing as 'too much caffeine'," he snapped at her, but she remained poker-faced.

"According to my logs, Master imbibed seven-hundred and thirty-four percent over the recommended maximum daily dosage of caffeinated beverages, which is over one-point-nine times higher than his usual intake."

"What? Since when are you logging how much coffee I—?!"

"Can you get to the point?" Roland cut in, making Fred twitch and start rubbing his hands again.

"Ah, right! No time for side-tracks! Where was I?"

"The preliminary readings of something," I supplied the prompt, and he started rubbing his palms even harder.

"Kihihi! That's right! The readings! Galatea, please!"

"Understood."

The android stood to the side, and the robotic bits in place of her ears lit up with green lights, then a pair of slots opened up on their sides and out came a pale green beam. After a few frantic passes, the light began to coalesce into a three-dimensional holographic model of the crater, with the Mana Well and the remains of Castle Shamash also present, and the huge Abyssal Gate dominating the scene.

Then, a bunch of charts and numbers showed up, with arrows pointing here and there, and before I could read any of them, Fred let out another of his trademark laughs and presented the image with both hands.

"Kihihihi! Look at this, Boss! The data's in, and if the aetheric radiation metrics are to be taken at face value, it seems the trans-spatial wormhole is completely meta-stable!"

We remained silent for a moment, until Brang on the side tugged at his beard and asked, "Meaning?"

"Meaning the portal is here to stay!" Fred declared with a grin. "Do you know what that means, Boss?"

Roland answered in my place with a deadpan, "It means we have a permanent portal linking our base back on Critias to the middle of the Abyss," followed by an audibly more exasperated, "There's always something…"

"Yes, but that's not all!" Fred chimed in, and he gestured to Galatea, at which point the hologram changed to focus on the Gate alone, with more scrolling texts and equations on the sides. "Look at this! If my calculations are right, it means this trans-spatial wormhole can transfer an unlimited volume and weight of material between its endpoints! Do you understand! This is the silver bullet we've been looking for to make the Boss's Portal-Port idea work seamlessly!"

"No offense, Wissenschaftler, but I'm more concerned by the political ramifications of this new gateway than the economic ones."

"Hah! Don't limit yourself, Sir Roland!" Fred scoffed and crossed his arms. "Politics and economics are nothing but trifling temporal matters in the face of SCIENCE!"

In perfect synchronicity, the hologram projection by Galatea changed again, this time to a dense jumble of text and even more math. Fred proceeded to try and explain it to us, and at first, I tried to follow along, but once the tables came into the picture, I was already getting lost. Then came the diagrams, and it was the moment four separate pie-charts appeared on the projection at the same time that I completely tuned out.

Luckily for me, I didn't have to wait for long for rescue, as there was yet another knock on the door, and for once, it wasn't a new face. As soon as Karukk opened it, Jaakobah came in, stepping right through the holographic display.

"Lord Polemos."

"At ease. Do you have something to report?"

"Yes." He put his hands behind his back and stated, "According to the investigation of the Praetorial Guard, Sumboulos Mensah has sequestered three Colossi for an 'underground structural operations' at Castle Enlil, along with a requisition of several portable mana-reactors."

"Mana-reactors?" I echoed him with a tilt of my head. "Can those explode?"

"Of course they can, Boss. What kind of question is that?" Fred scoffed on the side, none too pleased to be interrupted in the middle of his presentation.

I, on the other hand, couldn't have been happier. Also furious, but the two emotions kind of cancelled each other out, so I calmly stood up and tugged on my sleeves.

"Thank you for the quick and efficient work, Prefect."

"It is our duty to serve, O Archon," Jaakobah responded solemnly.

Meanwhile, I turned to Roland and told him, "Let's continue this conversation later. I'll just quickly throw someone into the Sun first. It shouldn't take too long."

"Into the… Sun?"

I nodded with a smile that said, 'Sorry, inside joke,' before disappearing from the room. The scenario might have ended, but it seemed my days of herding cats were far from over…