The Simulacrum

So, this discussion took a weird turn, though not necessarily a wholly unexpected one. From effectively the first time I could remember laying eyes on her, even before we officially met face to face, I always felt that Carmine was oddly familiar. It was something of a gut-feeling, a vague awareness that I couldn't quite put my finger on, and meeting the Crowned Coalescence in the flesh (or in the Definition, at the very least) triggered the same feeling.

Until now, I chalked it up to some hitherto undiscovered metaphysical malarkey, like some yet-another-me meeting them in the past, or some time-block balderdash of me meeting them in my subjective future affecting my past, but in retrospect, neither of those ideas was sound. I never had the same sentiment towards Oriole or Fulgor, let alone Benjamin, so it was blindingly obvious that these two were special in some way.

"Does that mean I have parts of you in me?" I asked the two, yet it was the ex-bony-abomination that answered first.

"In the strictly literal sense, we're all inside your Domain right now."

I sent a sideways glance at Benjamin, then reiterated, "That's not what I was asking about, and you know it."

He was looking at me with a deadpan, disinterested stare, so maybe he didn't.

"Technically speaking, yeah," the Crowned Coalescence answered with an implied smirk. "But only if a human's progenitors are still technically inside them."

"… How does that work?"

My inquiry made him chuckle, and he made a grand gesture with his arms.

"You see, kid, when a mommy and a daddy like each other very, very much, they—"

My phantom limb was still hovering close by after the last time, so I gave him another smack on the back of the head and turned to Carmine. She twitched when our gazes met, and then she awkwardly cleared her throat.

"He's being facetious, but he's not lying, if that's what you're worried about. Of course, creating a Seed Amalgam isn't so… 'physically involved' as biological reproduction, but its whole purpose is to create a template construct that the Simulacrum could, theoretically, act upon and result in an Emergence."

"I think you can drop the 'theoretical' bit," Fulgor noted on the side, sounding just a touch vexed. "At first, we were shocked that we accidentally killed him. Then, when we discovered he's fine, we got caught up in a conflict between Venerated Emergents. Then as soon as that piped down, it was the Venerated Benjamin nearly breaking the scenario, and then when that was over, it turned out our special consultant was the owner of the Artificial Domain and the Simulacrum, and just when I'm about to wrap my head around the implications of that, it turns out he's also the first confirmed example of Seed Amalgam successfully Emerging?" He exhaled a sharp huff and added, "Can we please slow down a bit and not have any new paradigm-shattering revelations for just five minutes?"

"Hey, don't look at me like it's somehow my fault!" I protested with maybe a bit too much vehemence, and he hurriedly backpedalled.

"No, I mean… I wasn't. I'm just saying that a little break, so we could catch our breath, would be nice. That's all."

That made everyone fall silent, potentially in full agreement, so I closed my eyes and spent the next couple of seconds ruminating on this whole thing. Honestly, most of what Fulgor complained about was beyond my pay grade. The Crowned Coalescence causing a scene by hiding away until everyone thought he was dead was his own damn fault and responsibility, and while I didn't know how big a deal a clash between Venerated Emergents was, it was their business. Benjamin throwing a tantrum, that was something I already resolved, so the only thing that bothered me was my origins, and learning that I was directly related to these two was…

Honestly, I didn't mind Carmine. She was mostly sensible, and she had always been friendly (maybe because she was feeling the same odd familiarity that I did), but the Crowned Coalescence was… Honestly, I found him annoying. I mean, I wouldn't be alive right now if not for him, but everything after that was a shit-show. If nothing else, I could at least breathe easy knowing that the apple fell far from its tree this time, and we were nothing alike. And no, I refused to hear anything to the contrary.

On a different yet related note, I, Leonard S. Dunning, started out not having any idea about my family, then I got accepted by the Dracises, then it turned out I was an orphan raised by a conniving bastard, then we kind of adopted each other with the senior Knights out of necessity, and then this. I went from no family to two families and some questionable father figures.

How was I going to explain this to Arnwald and Morgana? Did I even have to? Questions for later.

For now, I inhaled deeply and turned my attention back to the Crowned Coalescence.

"How about we put the whole 'Seed Amalgam' thing aside for a second and discuss it later? Possibly in private."

"I second that," Carmine backed me up with a soft hum.

"Oh, fine, fine," the burning star-man responded by waving his hand like he was chasing a nosy fly and then pointed at me. "We were at the point where you Defined yourself, right? That's where the problems began." He paused while he crossed his arms and then slowly shook his head. "If you just stopped there, that would've been fine, but you went ahead and just put your fingers all over the Simulacrum. I mean, it's all part of you, so I understand the curiosity, but you ended up with this crazy-ass Definition that was embodying the entire thing!"

"And that's bad?"

"Of course!" he replied off the cuff. "Being every single person, and the dogs and the birds and the lampposts at the same time is not a proper Definition! You can't have a conversation with a lamppost! It's just crazy-talk! Literally! So, I had to teach you how to cut off and trim all the unnecessary bits, but it wasn't easy. You were like one of those human baby things that wanted to put everything in their mouths! It was lucky Oriole quickly erased the records and helped cover up that whole thing, or the plan would've been a bust!"

"She did what?" Carmine blurted out, eyes squinting at the twin-tailed girl currently pretending to be more innocent than a newborn lamb.

"More on that later," the Crowned Coalescence cut in and made a careless gesture towards them. "As I was saying, the kid here made this ridiculous Definition, but then he finally started narrowing things down, and eventually settled on embodying the coolest toy in the toy box."

"Which was… Leonard Dunning?" I asked, only mildly incredulous, and he nodded along.

"Exactly. But then came the second problem: the scenario mistook you for a Submerged One in the process of Emerging! And because the whole Simulacrum was built around safeguarding and nurturing Submerged Ones, you got locked in! It was like you poked one of those finger-trap things, and now you couldn't get out! So, your core with the Seed Amalgam was in the Artificial Domain and couldn't get in without breaking something, and your Definition was inside the Simulacrum and couldn't get it out without breaking something. You were effectively stuck half-Emerging."

"How is that even possible?" Obsidius asked in a low voice, though it sounded like he was just thinking aloud and wasn't expecting an answer.

"The kid's a special case," said the Crowned Coalescence with a shrug. "I mean, he got trapped within himself. Isn't that 'special' already?"

Ignoring that, I interjected, saying, "Hold on, I have a question. You said you 'guided' me and 'taught' me things, but I don't remember ever meeting you until Benjamin first came into the scenario."

The white-haired kid on my left looked up, hearing his name, but when nobody addressed him, he returned to eating a pineapple Oriole conjured up for him at one point. The whole thing, skin and leaves and all.

More importantly, the Crowned Coalescence rubbed his chin, and after giving it a lot of thought, he let out an ambivalent, "Eh? I did, but you weren't properly Defined back then. It's like… how should I put this…" He rubbed his chin even harder, and then suddenly pointed at Carmine, making her twitch and her waves turn dead still for a moment. "Hey, do you remember that thing you always liked? You know? The psychological thing with the three parts?"

"… Are you talking about Freudian psychology?"

"The Id, the Ego, and the Superego," Fulgor spoke absently, and when everyone turned to him, he hastily explained, "It's the basis of one of the power-trio character dynamics, the aptly named Freudian Trio." He looked at me and added, "You're a man of culture, so you should be aware of this."

"I mean, I am tangentially familiar, but…" I raised a palm. "Give me a moment to think."

I wish I had Judy on hand to ask, because I was sure she knew way more about this, but from what I remembered, the three concepts Fulgor mentioned were part of the psychoanalytical framework of Sigmund Freud, and they described different layers or agents that influenced how human consciousness operated. In that context…

"I suppose I'm the Ego," I said, and both the Crowned Coalescence and Carmine nodded along, as if it was obvious.

The Ego was the cognizant part of the mind that operated the body and was doing all the logic-ing and reasoning and emotional maturity-ing. In short, the consciousness and personality of an individual, which fit right into the context of the Definition/Domain duality of an Emergent.

"In that case, the part of me you taught things was something like the… Superego?"

Nobody was in a hurry to agree openly this time, but they didn't disagree either, and it made some sense. The Superego was the part of the psyche that was formed by and adhered to outside norms and rules, like whatever the Crowned Coalescence taught me, or the scenario. It would've also meant that all of these other-me-s that I absorbed, and even Narrative-me, were probably all part of the Superego, the part of me that was aware of the Emergents, the Simulacrum's operations, and the need to complete the scenario from the very beginning.

"What's my Id then?"

This time, nobody reacted at all, leaving it to me to try and figure it out myself. The Id was the part of the psyche that was all about subconscious base instincts and desires. In the case of the human psyche, that was all about gratification and pleasure, but I didn't think that translated one-to-one with Emergents, so…

Hold it.

For the longest time, I was under the impression that the Simulacrum was running on some base set of tropes hard-coded into its framework, but what if I was wrong? I was interested in tropes and plot devices since pretty much the first day I woke up, and once Narrative-me was hamstrung by my first retcon, I would often inadvertently cause odd events and bend the plot in unexpected, tropey ways without meaning to. That sounded dangerously like 'subconscious base instincts and desires to me', meaning… Was it all me? All along?

"I'm starting to feel like I might be my own worst enemy…"

My comment elicited a round of awkward silence, but then the Crowned Coalescence grabbed the rudder of the conversation again and said, "Don't overthink it, kid. Even I'm not sure where I was going with that."

"They why did you bring it up?" Carmine asked with a brow slightly raised, and he shrugged in return.

"Because… you know? You always like this human psycho-stuff, with your Freuds and Jungs and whatnot, so I figured you might want to talk with the kid about it." That resulted in another beat of awkward silence, and then he forcefully cleared his throat again and looked at me. "Anyhow, I guess you got the gist of it. For you to properly Emerge, the scenario had to be finished, but it couldn’t be rushed, because then all the Submerged Ones would've been screwed."

"We did end up rushing because of a certain someone," I pointed out while also glancing at Benjamin, who was currently stoically eating a rice-omelette dish right out of a Japanese family restaurant menu (or at least an anime rendition of it), with a cute little white flag on it. Which he ate like it was an appetiser.

"Eh, it was fine!" the crowned star-man dismissed my concerns, only to pause and backpedal. "Was it fine? Did anyone check on the Submerged Ones yet?"

"I didn't have the time…" Obsidius groaned, and then Oriole chimed in with, "We can do it later, after we finish talking! I'm sure nothing bad happened!"

Fulgor grumbled, "At least one of us is optimistic," under his moustache, while Carmine closed her eyes and massaged her temple.

"The Submerged Ones are important, but we have to consider our own situation." She abruptly pointed at me. "How are we going to explain him to the Venerated Emergents?"

She brought up a good point, so I backed her up and pointed to my left with my thumb.

"Right. I don't know much about how Emergent society works, or if there even is one, but looking at this guy over here, I'm feeling a bit worried."

The target of my pointing already finished his dish and was now casually eating an empty plate, not paying me any attention, while the other Venerated Emergent only scoffed.

"Hah! Come on, kid! Haven't you realized it yet, even after what you did with little cutie Benjamin here?"

The white-haired kid looked up, a quarter of a plate still sticking out of his mouth, and glared at the Crowned Coalescence. Then he swallowed it in one gulp and turned to me, his expression looking almost pouty.

"He isn't wrong. We Venerated Ones gained our Definitions through intuition and self-reflection, so they're more volatile and difficult to keep consistent compared to the human-based Definitions of the younger generations. In a sense, we are acutely vulnerable to re-Definition from the outside."

"Which normally wouldn't be a problem," the Crowned Coalescence continued in the same track, looking rather smug, "Except the Simulacrum was designed from the ground up to aid Defining, and it's now a part of you, making you a natural expert on Definitions!"

"Oh. That makes a lot of sense," Obsidius noted, and even Fulgor grunted in agreement.

"And your Domain is really big," Oriole chimed in next with an ear-to-ear grin. "Nobody's going to want to pick a fight with you!"

Fulgor let out another grunt, this time followed by the words, "If anything, some might ask you to re-Define them, out of curiosity. I mean, just look at the Venerated Benjamin!"

We all did, and despite being in the centre of attention, he continued to munch on the remaining silverware like they were some kind of rare delicacy, completely unfazed.

"That's… a bit too convenient to accept at face value," I told them, my brows descending into a frown on their own accord. "In my opinion, if something sounds too good to be true, it usually isn't."

Though again, my opinions were shaped by my experiences, which were potentially the result of Id-me messing with Ego-me while Superego-me was trying (and failing) to keep things on track, so that might now have been the best foundation to build a worldview upon. But I digress.

"You also have to consider that if you really are…" Carmine started, only to pause to rub her temple once more and try again. "There are many Emergents out there hoping for a successful Seed Amalgam, and if you are, on top of everything else…"

As he trailed off, the Crowned Coalescence clapped his hands and declared, "In short, half of the old guard will want to avoid you like the plague, the other half will want to ask for Definitions, while the new kids will want to ask your help on how to make even newer kids!"

"I still refuse to believe it's going to be that simple, but can we rewind the conversation a bit?" I glanced at Obsidius. "You said the Simulacrum wasn't responding to that icosahedron control panel of yours, right?"

"Icosahedron?" he repeated after me, but then quickly shook his head. "I-I mean, no, it doesn't. I mean, you don't."

I pressed on.

"And nobody checked on the Submerged Ones yet?" He nodded, along with the others. "Does that mean they're still stuck in me?"

"Maybe?"

Obsidius's reply didn't inspire much confidence, so I looked at the others, and eventually Carmine stood up from her chair.

"Sol… I mean, Leonard is right. We can discuss everything in greater detail later, but first we must attend to our duties." She looked over the rest of the group. "Fulgor? I want a report on the scenario. Obsidius, keep monitoring the integrity of the Simulacrum and look for signs of Emerging Submerged ones. Oriole…" By the look of her tone, she wanted to question her involvement with the Crowned Coalescence, but seeing that she was busy conjuring up even more dishes for the gluttonous little ex-aberration, she let out a deflated sigh and said, "You keep assisting the Venerated Benjamin. As for you…"

Her eyes finally landed on the Crowned Coalescence, and she flatly told him, "Don't go anywhere. We have a lot to talk about."

"I suppose we do," he acquiesced, and at last, Carmine's attention was back on me.

Yet, before she could say anything, I already stood up and told them, "I think I should go and check out how things are going inside the Simulacrum."

"Ah… Yes, but…" Carmine hesitated, but at last she steeled her nerves, her crimson hair regaining its shine and her eyes all but glowing as she told me, "Once you're done, please find me. We also need to talk."

"In private," I guessed.

"In private," she confirmed.

"All right. I need to sleep on all this, metaphorically speaking, so see you all later. Till then…" I paused and turned to Benjamin, in the process of trying to fit a whole can of soda into his mouth. "You, behave yourself." He scowled at me, but couldn't respond because, once again, mouth full with a soda-can. Meanwhile, I turned to the other Venerated Emergent and sternly told him, "You also behave yourself."

"Oh, come on, kid. Don't be like that."

I maintained eye contact (or equivalent, because still no facial features) until he grumbled a grudging 'Fine,' followed by a customary 'Kids these days'. With that, I bid my farewell and left the fairly-bright definitely-room.

There was no void outside anymore, just my Domain, so I maintained my shape as Leonard S. Dunning during transit back to the Simulacrum. While it technically only took a blink of an eye, like when I was Phasing between two locations, I somehow still managed to squeeze in some time for introspection.

So, I was not only an Emergent, I was a super-special-awesome Emergent who not only couldn't be bullied by the old eldritch star-people, but had an entire star-people nursery inside me, which also happened to be the place I considered to be my home. So… was I a god? Not in the monotheistic sense, but in a more colloquial one?

I mean, I certainly wasn't omnipresent, omnipotence was… a bit trickier to answer, and omnibenevolence was something I considered an incoherent philosophical concept at the best of times, so… wait. I wasn't omnipresent or omnipotent, but Narrative-me used to be, and… going even deeper, if Id-me really is the trope-framework of the Simulacrum, then wouldn't that mean that I'm…

"I really need to brainstorm this with the girls…" I muttered as I Defined myself back into the Simulacrum.

I hoped Judy wouldn't freak out after hearing all this. Elly… will probably take it in stride, I imagined. She never really stressed herself over these things too much, and maybe she had the right idea.

Anyhow, once I honed in on them, I popped into existence next to my girlfriends. Thankfully, they finally moved out of the bloody crater (it was getting a bit old at this point), and we were inside a room in a fancy hotel next to the train station.

"Hi, girls," I greeted them right away, and for once, neither of them jumped me. Probably because they were too tired.

"Hi, Leo!" the princess greeted me back, sprawled out on the bed of the tastefully bourgeois hotel room, her feet dangling off the side, while my dear assistant was chilling on a generously padded sofa.

"Welcome back, Chief. How's the situation?"

"The main threat is subdued, the Simulacrum is stable, allegedly nobody will want a piece of me for a while, and the Crowned Coalescence may or may not be my deadbeat dad. It's all confusing and metaphysics-y and wibbly-wobby." I internally debated bringing up the whole 'god' thing, but I decided against it and instead just asked, "How are things over here? Is everyone okay?"

"More or less," Elly responded from the bed. "My throat still hurts. I want hot cocoa."

"I'll see what I can do about that," I said with a smile automatically settling on my face. "What about you, Dormouse?"

She put down her communicator glasses and, after a brief beat, she flatly stated, "The campaign is going well. The Draconic Federation has already taken Castle Nergal, and Castle Gula is about to fall."

I thought she was kidding at first, but she looked dead serious, so I tentatively asked, "How long was I gone?"

"About fifteen or so minutes," Judy answered reflexively, followed by a slightly uncertain, "Why?"

"That checks out," I muttered as I tried to recall how much time I'd spend in the remarkably-bright obviously-room. "How did that happen?"

"Celestial portals," Elly chimed in, still lying on her back on the bed. "They had spies eeeverywhere, and they opened portals to them, and then went whooosh!"

"Yes, thank you, princess, but I asked the wrong question. Let me try again." Clearing my throat, I turned to Judy. "Why is this happening?"

"You said we're invading the Abyss," she told me matter-of-factly. "So, we're invading the Abyss. We should have total control of the major cities within twenty-four hours."

Once again, I really hoped she was joking, but she looked entirely serious, so I immediately face-palmed, and I could practically hear my theoretical Id-me having a good laugh at my expense.

"It's confirmed. I really am my own worst enemy…"