The Simulacrum

Deep in the night, a silent beast of steam and metal slowly crept up on its prey. Which in this case was a whole… town? I wasn't very good with my similes, was I?

Anyhow, what was I getting at? Ah, right. The train.

It was later than expected that the heavily enchanted steam engine of House Ninhursag approached the outskirts of Eanna. All hands on deck (or whatever the railway equivalent of that idiom was) were on high alert as the silent locomotive passed by the first couple of unlit buildings by the rails. Some kind of switching station, maybe?

"We're in the clear," Josh whispered in the pitch-black driver's cab. The already fairly small cabin, originally designed to house only two or three people at most, was crammed like a sardine can. The whole gang was there, along with the patriarch, the unnamed military liaison, as well as the actual driver of the steam machine.

Not that he had much to do; as of this moment, the firebox of the locomotive was bereft of flames, and the whole train was carried by a mixture of inertia and whatever minuscule slope there was in the railways following the lay of the landscape. Or at least so I thought. I was many things, but a railway engineer definitely wasn't one of them.

"I don't see any wards," Snowy whispered back, then leaned out at the side of the cab and squinted hard at the darkness in the distance. After a few tense seconds, she returned to the gang with a reassuring, "Still nothing. I… don't think they're expecting us."

The portly Ninhursag aristocrat in the middle let out a soft hum, followed by an equally quiet, "Good." Seeing the relieved faces around him, he quickly raised a finger and added, "But we must remain vigilant." He pointed the same finger at the driver next. "Maintain silent running."

The man, a lanky fellow in a railway uniform, immediately began fiddling with the instruments and knobs in front of him, but… what exactly did 'silent running' even mean here? They were acting like they were on a submarine doing some super-sneaky secret mission. They turned off the lights and were whispering and whatnot, but it was still a train. It was still making a lot of rackety noises, and cloudy sky or not, anyone with a pair of working eyes could see them coming.

Though again, they didn't have a lot of options. The alternative was to rush in at full speed and kick up the hornet's nest. In that context, maybe going about it this way was wiser. Of course, if only Judy put on her communicators, I could—

"I'm a little worried about the lack of defenses." Speak of the devil, my dear assistant spoke up in a low whisper while inattentively tapping on the glasses tucked into her collar. I figured she just didn't put them on because everyone was gathered here, so she didn't need to act like mission control yet. I would've really appreciated it if she thought of me as well, but I digress. She glanced through the window of the train cab and added, "Why would they leave such an obvious point of entry unguarded?"

The heavy-set patriarch stifled a drawn-out chortle and uttered a single word, "Conceit." He sounded thoroughly convinced of his point, but seeing that the gang wasn't, he made a sweeping motion towards the buildings barely visible outside (an act made a bit awkward by how cramped the place was) and explained, "The Lord of Inanna must have never even considered that someone would challenge him and his Emperor on their home grounds. I'm sure he considers himself to be the prime mover of this civil war, the one who attacks and conquers, and thus the mere idea of someone daring to assault his castle must've been so preposterous, he didn't even entertain the thought."

"I… don't know…" Snowy muttered on the side, looking less than convinced. "Noir is usually more… careful than that."

"Maybe," the man granted her, but then shrugged her concerns off with his very next sentence. "Absolute power, or the belief of possessing it, often makes a fool out of even the most prudent of men."

There was an odd, almost self-reflecting tinge in his tone, and it resulted in a long moment of silence… at least until my knightly sister exclaimed, "With great power comes great arrogance!"

"Pssst!" Elly hissed at her, putting a finger in front of her lips. "We're in silent mode."

"Ah, right!" My sister also put a finger in front of her mouth, all the while Judy was just shaking her head at their antics and continued her reasoning from before.

"I still think we need to be careful. It would be embarrassing to fall into a trap at this stage of the plan."

The patriarch eventually nodded along, but before he could formulate a proper response, Angie grabbed everyone's attention by saying, "I think we're getting close! I can see the castle!"

This was my knightly sister's turn to hiss, "Psst! Silent mode!"

The Celestial girl didn't seem to care though, and she leaned even further out of the cabin for a better look, so much so that her boyfriend subtly sidled closer and held onto her waist from behind. She let out a giggle (she might've thought it was a romantic gesture) and leaned out even harder, her finger aimed at the structure in the distance.

"Look! It's all lit up like it's Christmas!" Her expression suddenly turned thoughtful, and she finally stopped reenacting the bad example from a railway safety PSA. "Do you have Christmas in the Abyss?"

The question was clearly aimed at Snowy, and she awkwardly muttered, "Leo once asked me about this, too. No, we don't. We have—"

"Sorry to interrupt, but we should focus on the mission," Judy interjected, followed by Penny and Elly both going hush-hush again.

"Silent mode."

"Very silent!" Penny insisted, only to then immediately pause and tap her chin with her forefinger. "Wait. If we put Snowy's Sigils on the train, we could've gotten one step further! Stealth mode!"

"I'm… not sure they would work well on an object this big," my other sister pointed out.

Judy also added, "It still wouldn't help with the noise."

It was at this point that Angie crossed her arms and let out a soft huff.

"I told you we could've used a silencing hymn to mask our approach."

Hearing that, Josh subtly rolled his eyes and, since his hands were still on her waist, pulled her closer.

"And I told you that a 'silencing' song that you have to sing from the top of your lungs is a… what was the fancy word for contradictions?"

Judy uttered a disinterested, "Oxymoron," without paying much attention.

"Yes, that. An oxymoron." He sent an appreciative glance at my dear assistant, but then focused on his girlfriend and told her, "Also, a Celestial hymn needs a choir to work, doesn't it?"

"But Deus said we could do it!" Angie retorted with a pout, only for her eyes to switch colour and Deus to declare, "You have to be bolder, Boy! It's about time you embrace your Celestial nature and learn how to perform something more complex than just simple arias and cantatas!"

Josh froze up for a moment, and it looked like he was about to take his hands off her, but then he exhaled hard, relaxed his posture, and then retorted with a flat, "Yeah, sure. Maybe once we aren't in the middle of something like this?"

"That's not a good attitude!" Deus snapped at him, causing my princess and my sister to 'Pssst!' at her, but they were summarily ignored. "There's no better time to learn than the present!" She paused, then added, in an almost sheepish voice, "Maybe not the 'present' present, but maybe after we rescued Polemos? Oh! Maybe we could practice together! It should be much easier to learn the intricacies of a chorus with more voices!"

Oh, dear god, no.

"Maybe?"

No. Just no. If I ever sing anything, it's going to be in Faunish, about how much of a ponce Crowy is, and that's it.

Fortunately, before the childhood-friend… um… adjacent duo? Yeah, let's go with that. So, before the two of them could come up with any concrete plans, the patriarch in the middle of the group let out a low hiss.

"Quiet. We're getting close to the station."

"How can you tell?" Judy inquired on the spot, looking genuinely intrigued, so the man stifled a sigh and made a vague gesture towards the window.

"A sign, by the rails."

"Interesting." If it wasn't dark in there, I was sure she would've jotted that down into her notepad. Instead, she raised her hand to get everyone's attention. "Get ready. It seems like we haven't been discovered yet, but we still have to be prepared for heavy resistance once we disembark. Do you remember the plan?"

"Sure," Josh noted while still hugging… was Deus still in control? Anyhow, he kept absent-mindedly holding onto her while he explained, "First, we secure the train station. We're gonna set up a defensive perimeter inside the building." When he said that, he gestured at himself, Angie, and the military liaison who… holy crap. That guy had so little presence, I totally forgot he was there. Anyhow, he pointed at my sisters and the patriarch next, saying, "Team B will head directly to the castle, while Team C…" By process of elimination, that could only refer to my girlfriends, "… is gonna proceed to the Chasm of Desolation and rescue Leo."

"We need to move fast," Elly declared, only to then blink and turn to Judy. "By the way, shouldn't we contact Leo and tell him that we're coming?"

"Knowing the Chief, he already knows," my dear assistant responded a touch dourly, but finally grabbed her party glasses and was ready to wear them. "We might need directions, though."

She was just about to finally put them on, but she paused mid-motion when Angie exclaimed, "I think I can see the station!" Once again, she was leaning out the window and being held back by an eminently unamused Josh, but before the others could hush her, she turned around and said, "Hey, guys? Trains are not supposed to be running right now, right?"

"No, they aren't," Judy replied, her glasses almost touching her nose.

"Then we might be in trouble. The whole place is lit up and there's a lot of movement."

"What? Let me take a look!"

The Ninhursag noble tried to follow her example and lean out the window, though in his case, it was a far less graceful affair.

"You see? I knew we should've been quieter," Penny moaned, my princess nodding in agreement, and then the patriarch turned to face them again, cutting all conversations short.

"You! There's no point hiding now! Full steam ahead!"

"Yes, Lord!" the driver yelped and began to tweak the knobs again.

Meanwhile, the large man headed towards the door leading to the coupling and the passenger cars behind it.

"I'll tell the men to be ready for battle!"

It was at this point that Judy, mercifully, finally placed the stupid glasses onto her nose, and I immediately connected to it.

"Hey, Dormouse."

"Chief?" She let out a soft hum and turned to Elly. "You see? Told you he would be…" Her words trailed off when the image also came through. Unlike when I was in the Chasm of Desolation, there should've been no interference whatsoever, so I figured she was looking through my eyes at this moment, and as soon as the first surprise passed, she hurriedly called out, "Lord Ninhursag, sir. Please wait."

The rotund man stopped in the doorway, looking mildly confused by this development. It didn't show in her face, but Judy was probably the most confounded out of everyone in the cabin.

"Chief? Is what I'm seeing what I think I'm seeing?"

"Depends. Is it a train rolling into the station?" I asked back.

In the background, Angie exclaimed, "Look! Someone's waving to us!"

Meanwhile, my dear assistant forced down a groan and muttered, "This is going to be so awkward…"

"It wouldn't be if you put on the communicator earlier," I pointed out, much to her audible chagrin.

"Must've been narrative influence."

"Come on, Dormouse. We can't blame everything on that."

Snowy chose this moment to interject with a quiet, "E-Excuse me?"

She looked extra-perplexed, though the same could be said about the rest of the gang as well, which wasn't surprising, considering they were only hearing one side of the conversation. I left Judy to explain all that and returned to my body, where I was also met with a confused glance.

"Who were you talking to?" a raspy voice asked on my side, and before I could finish, an energetic voice answered in my stead from over my head.

"It was Auntie Judy, right? Is she coming?"

Ollie was riding on my shoulders and sounded pretty excited as he craned his neck to take a better look at the approaching steam engine languidly following the final bend of the rails leading to the platform. On my right, the Matron exhaled a sharp breath through her nostrils, looking generally annoyed. Next to her were a few familiar faces: the strapping young man from the salon, a couple of the Fauns from the barracks standing on guard, and a certain elderly bald military man. On my left, a small gaggle of nobles and servants (both the civil and the domestic variety) surrounded by even more Fauns. Further left, a group of different and visibly more 'working class' Abyssals bunched up in a huddle and trying not to draw attention.

"This is madness! If the Lord hears of this, we're going to lose our heads, I tell you!" the bald Abyssal next to the Matron whispered to her, but loud enough that I could clearly hear him even over the sound of the metallic groaning of the locomotive's wheels.

She didn't respond to him directly, just continued to stare dispassionately at the approaching train and said, "I shall decide whether I care about what Noir thinks of today's events or not after I listen to Neige's side of the story."

Speaking of her, the train barely started braking when the side door of the driver's cabin popped open and a dash of red and white escaped from it.

"Brother!"

Yep. Leave it to Penny to make a dynamic entry while dragging my other sister along. The two of them dashed under the evenly placed electric lampposts of the station's main platform, and she… kind of looked like she was gearing up to tackle me.

"Whoa! Easy there, Kiddo!"

I desperately gestured at Ollie, still sitting on my shoulders, and that finally made her slow down.

"Oof…"

She still tackled me all the same.

"Brotheeer!"

"Yes, yes. I'm here."

I was half-expecting Snowy to join in on the family hug, but she was frozen up next to me due to the presence of the Matron.

She muttered an awkward, "Ah, I-I…" so I reached out in her stead and pulled her in.

"Worry about it later."

She was surprised at first, but then she also opened her arms wide and caught both me and Penny in a big hug, and…

"Leooo!"

… and now the princess was diving towards me. Crap. I should've put Ollie down first, shouldn't I?

Hindsight was still a female dog, but for now held onto Ollie and tried my best to weather the storm. As soon as the train stopped, the rest of the gang crowded me as well, with Judy being the last in line, courtesy of being the only one who had to use the ladder to get out of the cab instead of jumping off a moving vehicle like it was completely normal. And while I waited for her to get here…

"Oh, come on, man! Would it have killed you to let us be the big damn heroes for once!?"

I listened to Josh's complaints.

"This was definitely anticlimactic," my dear assistant agreed with him as soon as she arrived, and she looked me in the eye. Or rather, she looked Ollie in the eye. "Éolienne Serua Ashur?"

"Yes!" he responded loudly, followed by a quieter, "If she's Auntie Elly, then you must be Aunty Judy!"

She responded with a soft, "Mm," and then looked me in the eye. "Chief? Could you please put him down?"

"… Why?"

"So that I could kick you for making me worry." That was extra-deadpan, meaning she was serious, but then she also added, "And I also want to kiss you," in the same tone, so maybe she wasn't.

"No way! I was here first, so I have dibs!" Elly declared while still attached to me from behind, since my sisters were still hogging my sides. "Not for the kicking part!"

"I know, I know, just… Everyone, could you please step back for a moment?"

They reluctantly did so, and while we were busy with that, the Ninhursag Patriarch and his retinue also got off the train, much to the present Inanna personnel's mild apprehension.

He greeted me with a cautious, "Lord Dunning?" so I did my best to appear as friendly as possible.

"The Head of House Ninhursag, right? Pleased to meet you, but I'm afraid proper introductions and pleasantries have to wait." In the meantime, I put down Ollie and simultaneously pointed a palm and the girlfriends. "Same goes for kicks and kisses as well."

"Is this the part where you're gonna explain to us why you decided to break yourself out of prison literally five minutes before we got here to break you out?"

"It was a bit more than five minutes, and no, that explanation also has to wait a bit."

"Are we heading back to Castle Inanna?" the Matron asked without taking an eye off Snowy, scrutinising her like a principal getting ready to dress down a troublemaking student. My sister looked self-conscious, but not afraid, so I let the attitude slide for now and shook my head again.

"No, that's not it either." By this point, the confusion was palpable in the air, so I raised my palms and said, "We don't have much time, so let's get things done first. Snowy?"

"Y-Yes?"

"Please explain what happened between you and Crowy to her." I jerked my head towards the old woman. "Just the abridged version. You can talk about the granular details later."

"O-Okay?"

She didn't look too happy about that, but obediently walked over to the Matron's side. Penny automatically followed after her, like her shadow. Next, I turned to my girlfriends and pushed Ollie towards them.

"Here, introduce yourselves. The Beansprout's been dying to meet you."

Elly looked happy to oblige, while Judy slightly narrowed her eyes and asked, "You're trying to distract us, aren't you?"

"Yes," I admitted without a shred of shame, which took her aback long enough for me to move on to the childhood friend couple.

"You two, I need you to help me throw some switches."

"… Switches," Josh repeated after me with a critical brow raised at my expense.

"Yeah. Rail switches, to be exact," I explained and waved at the group of hapless Abyssals standing a bit further off in the distance, wearing an eclectic combination of formal clothes, casual wear, and uniforms similar to the Ninhursag train driver's. Raising my voice, I yelled, "Come on, people! Look alive! I want this train turned around within the hour!"

"Yes… Yes, sir!" a middle-aged placeholder, apparently the senior officer or manager or who the heck knew the hierarchy of the railway, responded briskly and began to hand out instructions.

Meanwhile, Josh stepped up to me and whispered, "What's this about?"

"Exactly what it looks like." I made a few more urging gestures at the men, and only then did I turn on my heel and tell Josh, "There's a situation going on back at Castle Shamash, so we're all going back there."

My friend first looked incredulous, then angry, and finally just plain exasperated as he hissed, "What situation?"

"Crowy is besieging the place with his whole army. Oh, and the class rep's there too. Can't forget about her."

Now his expressions went in reverse, resulting in a skeptical, "Hold your horses, pal! Are you seriously telling me that he decided to invade right after we left?"

Scoffing, I responded with a miffed, "Yeah. Annoying, right?" followed by a more neutral. "Come, I'll give you the details on the way back." Then I turned to Angie, and asked, "Let's rearrange some trains, shall we?"

"Okay!"

With his girlfriend agreeing, Josh had no choice but to fall in line, and with that, I managed to weather the most critical junction by getting everyone busy, so that they wouldn't start asking more questions. Such as why they even needed to come get me if I could break out at any time, or why I didn't tell them about this before, or why this whole situation was moving at such a bloody breakneck pace.

Of course, I would have to answer those questions sooner or later, but with some luck, by then I could come up with something satisfactory. And who knew? Maybe even Judy would forget about kicking me in the meantime. I could only hope.