Chapter 170: Restless Energy
Jonas was startled awake when he felt a light bump on his side. It wasn't anything that worried him. In fact, he was more surprised that it had been enough to wake him up. Especially since he could see daylight shining on him through his eyelids.
Whatever the reason, he couldn't help but wonder what might have happened while he was asleep. Part of the reason he'd stayed awake so long before the party that ended in such disaster was because he needed to make sure that he was doing something about the situation he was in.
At the moment, there wasn't a need for himself to do anything exactly, but he still felt a need to do something. Even if he couldn't be sure what that was. After all, the chamberlain had been captured before he or any of those in his group were aware of it, which meant that Owen would be able to interrogate him to make sure that he was the head of the conspiracy or not.
Which also meant that he was left without anything to focus on. Which in turn didn't sit well with him. He'd often been told in his life that 'Idle hands are the devil's playthings' or something like that. He'd always taken that to heart and wanted to make sure that his hands weren't 'idle' at any point.
However, right now there wasn't anything specific that he could even think of to do. He could feel his body needed more rest, but at the same time, he couldn't just let himself be idle.
Carefully opening his eyes, he looked to see what had bumped into him and saw Elmo on his left. He couldn't be sure if Elmo was asleep at the moment or just dozing, but he suddenly felt an urge to put his arm around Elmo's shoulders, to pull him closer. He couldn't say where the urge came from, but it was unexpected for him.
Jonas reached over and brushed some hair away from Elmo's face, giving him a better view of Elmo. However, as he started to pull his hand away he froze. Not because he was caught in the act, but because he realized what he'd just done and couldn't believe that he'd done that.
He'd never even had the urge to do anything like that before, so he couldn't understand why he did that now. He wanted to stand up and quickly walk away, not caring that Elmo would probably fall down on the ground without him to lean against, but at the same time, he couldn't bring himself to stop the contact between him and Elmo. Which served to further confuse himself.
He couldn't figure out what was happening to himself and wasn't sure if it was good or not. Not only that, but he couldn't think of anyone he could turn to, to talk about this. Kim might be an option, except he viewed their relationship as more of a professional relationship, which meant that he should leave personal matters like this outside of it. Elin possibly might be willing to not talk about it, but he doubted that he'd be able to get much insight out of her, as she'd probably go off on some fantasy of her own that wouldn't be helpful or even productive.
Jonas sighed and closed his eyes again for a minute, trying to settle his thoughts. Why he had to deal with this now, for the first time in his life, he couldn't say. As if dealing with this stupid competition wasn't bad enough. Now he had to deal with these confusing emotions as if he was thirteen again or something.
Jonas opened his eyes and looked around again. There wasn't anything of interest to see at all, but at least it gave him something to do other than let himself get overwhelmed by confusing thoughts that didn't help him out any. Or even create more confusion.