Magical Girl Mechanical Heart

"Oh, laaaadies!" Melpomene calls out, kicking open the doors of her absurd nightmare castle. "Guess what I brought home!"

She doesn't open the doors like a normal person in part because she's about the furthest thing from 'normal' anyone could ever be, but mostly because I am, to my chagrin, once again being carried around in her arms. Flight has proven too much for me outside my incarnate form, but Melpomene assures me that will likely change. As for my incarnate form itself… I could barely hold it for a few minutes.

Apparently, there's still a giant hole in my soul. Imagine that.

"I'm making dinner!" Nanaya's voice shouts from deeper within the castle. "Quit yelling, and come up here!"

She means up the stairs I saw last I was here, presumably, though of course I can't see them anymore. I can't even feel them all that well, given that my odd new sense of… what, external proprioception? It functions much better on things closer to me, and for whatever reason it seems to function worse inside this castle than outside it. Once the doors slam shut behind us, I'm back to near-total sensory uselessness. It's a little scary. If anyone here wanted to hurt me, there's very little I could do about it.

…But of course, the fear leaks away and leaves nothing but a dull sense of pointlessness in mere seconds. Oh, heaven forbid someone hurt me. Like there's anything they could do that's worse than what the Dark World has already done. Melpomene was right. I belong here with them. There's nowhere else for me to go.

And besides, none of it matters. The nervousness, the confusion, the constant mental reminders that these people used to be my enemies… with her gone, they don't mean anything. Without her, without the person who actually made me worth something, everyone I cared about is better off without me.

Besides, apparently Nanaya is making dinner, and I could not physically be more hungry. Although…

"Why do you eat?" I ask.

"Pardon?" Melpomene responds.

"Why do you eat?" I repeat. "If you're like me, you don't need to eat anymore, right?"

"Ah," Melpomene hums. "Not quite, darling. The miasma has accepted you, so it can sustain you, but the castle keeps it out. It's something that… Thea designed."

She trails off for a moment, letting a beat of silence pass before she seems to remember that she has more to say.

"Ah, but yes. You'll need to get back in the habit of eating regularly again. It can be difficult to tell time here, so keep an eye on the clocks to make sure you know when to—"

"I'm blind," I remind her.

"…Yes, apologies darling," Melpomene sighs. "Well, we can help remind you to eat. We're all used to doing it for each other to some extent."

"Somehow I can't imagine Nanaya being happy to help feed me," I say.

"Nanaya is a practical woman," Melpomene says. "She's not the sort of person to turn down a valuable asset merely because it beat her in a fight a couple times."

"I never beat her," I correct.

That gives Melpomene a moment of pause, but this close to her I can feel her smile.

"Of course, darling," she says. "All the better, then."

Up the stairs and down a hall, I'm once again disoriented by my lack of ability to see or feel anything around me. I can feel emotions, at least: Melpomene's disgust is thick around me, cloying in a way that reminds me somewhat of the mists themselves. But beneath them, I can feel more than that: happiness, anxiety, depression, frustration… it's a tumultuous storm of emotion, flashing and flickering like lightning, prone to a sudden strike to an unknown spot at any moment. Overall, though, beneath all the disgust, I'd judge her as excited. It's odd.

I can feel two more sources of emotion in front of me, too. The bundle of anger is obviously Nanaya, though unlike Melpomene I don't really feel a lot underneath. I'm probably too far away. The last cluster of emotion is mostly sad. It feels vaguely familiar, but I don't really recognize it. I'm not sure who else would be here other than Anath, but she's a yellow mage, right? She's always perfectly gleeful when beating the shit out of me for no fucking reason.

"Alright, everyone!" Melpomene calls out. "Last chance to guess!"

"Mel?" someone asks. "Is something wrong?"

Wait… that is Anath! I guess there was that one time I had to keep an eye on her at our place so she wouldn't mess with my brother. That was weird. She was sad that whole time, and it pissed me off. It sucks to punch someone that's sad.

"Nothing at all!" Melpomene says brightly. "In fact, I have excellent news for you! Look!"

I'm lifted slightly higher into the air as Melpomene presumably parades me around to her team.

"…Melpomene," Nanaya says flatly. "You didn't."

"Oh, god," Anath breathes, her emotions blooming with fear and despair. "Who is… no, that can't be…"

"Fulgora is alive!" she announces like it's big news. She's… known that for a long time now, though? Did she not tell anyone? Whatever.

"Fulgora!?" Anath yelps, and I hear a quick patter of running feet getting rapidly closer before she suddenly collides with Melpomene and me. Melpomene barely budges, keeping me steady in her arms, and all of a sudden I have Anath's hands all over me, poking and prodding at my tail, my crystals, my antenna… I just go stiff, not having any idea how to react to the sudden contact. Get the hell off of me…? Anath quickly pulls back, but I've already almost completely stopped caring.

"Fulgora," Anath whimpers. "Fulgora. Oh, no. What happened? Please be okay…"

What the hell…?

"The fuck do you think happened?" I grumble at her. It's not like there's more than one way to end up a blind, paraplegic crystal-covered monster. …Hopefully.

"You're not okay," Anath concludes, hesitantly poking at one of my crystals again. "You feel so quiet. Where's Mi—"

"Shut the fuck up," I snap at her. I don't want to hear that name from her rotten mouth. "She's dead. I killed her."

Confusion wafts off of her.

"You killed her…?" she mumbles to herself. "That doesn't…"

"I let her die," I clarify. "It's the same thing."

Another set of footsteps indicates someone getting closer.

"One of your incarnate forms died, but the other lived?" Nanaya hums. "I didn't realize that was possible, yet it makes a certain sort of sense. But what are you doing here?"

"Where else am I supposed to go?" I ask. "Just look at me."

"Let's set up a chair for Fulgora at the table, hmm?" Melpomene asks, and I think she's looking at Nanaya when she says it. Sure enough, the other woman grunts and moves away, presumably to do just that. I can sort of feel it: where she's going, what she's moving… and as Melpomene brings me closer, I can feel enough of the table and chair that I can awkwardly get my tail underneath me and sit down without accidentally smacking anything.

My tail. I can't believe I have a goddamn tail. It's nothing like moving my legs; my legs are still there, after all, they're just trapped in the crystals growing out of me. Moving my tail is like some huge, complicated extension of wiggling my butt or stretching my back, except I just keep stretching all the way down the line, and I can stretch in so many directions, and it just… it's a lot. I can't decide if it's harder to move a new body part than I expected or much, much easier. I suppose I have no frame of reference. Maybe I should have asked Su what having a tail was like when I had the chance. Personally, I'm not sure I like it.

In some ways, I'm glad I can't see it. I'm glad I don't have to know what I look like now.

"May I speak with you in private, Melpomene?" Nanaya asks flatly.

Of course, she says everything flatly. Not in the same way Castalia does, though. Castalia sounds like there aren't any emotions behind her words, even though that couldn't be further from the truth. Nanaya sounds like there are too many emotions, and they're barely being held back by a dam of self-control. Knowing what her Catharsis does, I can hardly blame her for being insistent on keeping herself in check.

"Always, dearest," Melpomene answers fondly, and the two of them step away.

As she does, the vague understanding I had of my surroundings vanishes, leaving me even more in the dark than ever before. It startles me, causing me to nearly fall out of my chair in an attempt to follow after the source of my senses. I catch myself, though, freezing up. What's going on? Why did I lose feeling around myself when she left? Is she some kind of… portable miasma substitute? That seems bad, but I do not like being this ignorant of everything around me. I don't like it at all.

"Fulgora?" Anath asks from my left, nearly scaring the shit out of me. I don't let it show.

"What?" I snap.

"I, um, I think the food is still simmering, but can I get you anything?" she asks. What the hell? Why? "Um, you know, like… a snack? I have cheesy chips and Gatorade. Or maybe just some water?"

Water water water water.

"…Water," I agree. Melpomene gave me some before she brought me here, but I'm still thirsty. A shuffling sound indicates that Anath probably left to go get some. Probably. The source of her emotions starts to get more distant, but that's the only way I can really tell. I have no idea where anything is, and I hate it.

"This is not a good idea," Nanaya says from the other room. It's quiet, but I can still make out the words.

"You know we need more members," Melpomene argues.

"But her? How long have you been cooking this little surprise? I seriously doubt you just stumbled upon her by accident."

"She understands that the Preservers are at fault," Melpomene says, not answering the question. "And having her around should make Anath happy, right?"

There's a pause.

"…Are you stupid?" Nanaya asks.

"Don't," Melpomene growls. "I love you, but you don't get to talk to me that way."

Nanaya sighs.

"Mmm. Apologies," she says, though she doesn't really feel like she means it. "It is just that I have been doing my best to comfort Anath and help her grieve. You know this. But when we finally start making good progress, you bring the source of that grief back. As a teal mage."

"I… understand that, but surely it's better than her being dead?" Melpomene says. "She can always end up a different color later."

"Name one teal mage who did," Nanaya says. "Just one."

Another pause.

"A pattern is not a requirement," Melpomene eventually says.

"Indeed not. So you will keep that girl alive, Melpomene. If you go using her as a sacrificial pawn, we'll lose both her and Anath."

"…Would that really be so bad?" Melpomene asks, a flirtatious tint to her voice. "Just the two of us against the world?"

"Mmm. And how would you have reacted if I said such a thing about Thea?" Nanaya counters blandly.

"…Fair point," Melpomene sighs. "But not a relevant point. I wasn't planning to throw her away regardless. Like I said, we need more members… and we both know she has incredible potential. You should have seen her incarnate form! The girl roars like a dying star."

Emphasis on the dying, perhaps. I couldn't really judge how strong I was, but I suppose going teal tends to give people a power boost. Too little too late, of course. I still killed her.

"Very well," Nanaya sighs. "I trust you. But I will be having a talk with her."

"Of course, dearest," Melpomene answers fondly, and then I briefly hear some weird wet noises. Did they… kiss each other?

…This is the part where she would have said 'ew.'

Water water water water.

God, I'm thirsty.

"G-got it! Got the. The water. Sorry that took a bit I don't normally drink water and we have separate drinking water and bathing water and I might have mixed it up at first but the glass is clean and the water is good now I promise!" Anath suddenly blabbers in my ear. Gah! She's back I guess!?

"Thanks," I say, hearing a clunk in front of me. I guess she set it on the table? That's fine. That's cool. I'm sure I can find it.

I carefully reach forward, my fingers questing in the general direction of the noise for the glass I've been brought. The tips of my fingers clink against something, startling me a little. Claws. Right. I have claws now, most likely made of crystal. I do my best to maneuver them around the glass, but everything is just slightly offset from where I expect it, and I end up nearly knocking the damn thing over.

"Oh, do you… need any help?" Anath asks.

"No," I snap.

"Sorry," Anath immediately responds, shuffling back a step.

I can do this. It's just a glass of water. I don't need help for something as stupid as this. I mean, who hasn't had to get up and take a drink in the middle of the night? I guess I could usually see a tiny bit when I did that, but still! I just need to get my hand around it, and… ah!

"You two getting along?" Melpomene says, coming up behind me, and all of a sudden I can wrap my hand around the cup with ease. I immediately bring it up to my lips and chug the whole thing down. It feels amazing.

Water, water, water, water.

"Still thirsty, darling? Well, we're fairly stocked up right now, so drink as much as you like," she tells me.

"How are you doing that?" I ask.

"Pardon?" she says, tilting her head to the side. And I know she's tilting her head. Somehow.

"You're helping me see," I say. "Kind of. I can feel what's around me easier when you're nearby."

"You're probably detecting magical flows," Nanaya says. "Do you have similar senses out in the mist?"

Huh. I wasn't expecting her to talk to me so casually after arguing against me hanging around, but I'll take it, I guess.

"Yeah," I confirm.

"It's the same sense as the one that lets you feel people's emotions or judge how powerful a magical threat is, just applied differently," Nanaya explains. "Some of us are better at it than others, but we can all do it to some extent. I believe it's one of the side effects of having these crystals implanted in our bodies. Speaking of, I would like to do a medical examination on you, if you will allow it."

"…What?" I ask. "Are you… a doctor? Huh?"

"No, Fulgora, I am not a doctor," Nanaya says flatly. "But I am a healer. And though I lack a formal education, it does not require a university degree to understand that crystals growing inside your internal organs can be very bad for you. And your crystal growths are very advanced. Your body is covered with them. If they look anything on the inside like they do on the outside, you are in serious danger."

So what?

"Do whatever you want," I grunt. "But can we eat first?"

"Mmm. I suppose you likely haven't eaten in eight months, so I can understand the urgency. Very well."

Eight… months? Wow. I knew I was there for a long time, but… wow. It's been eight months since she died. That's too many.

Water, water, water, water.

"…Could I get more water, also?" I croak.

"Y-yeah, of course!" Anath chirps, grabbing my empty glass and rushing off.

"We have drinking water here in the kitchen!" Nanaya calls after her, but she's already gone.

Nanaya sighs.

"…Why are you here, Fulgora?" she asks, moving away from the table as Melpomene sits down next to me.

"Huh?" I say. "Why are you asking me that? I don't know why I'm here."

"Mmm. Let me clarify. You've never been interested in avoiding a fight with us before," Nanaya says. "But Melpomene says you want to join us?"

"As long as I get to fight for you, sure," I answer.

"…Oh?" Nanaya prompts. Annoying. So annoying. Talk talk talk.

"I can't go back to the Preservers," I say. "I won't. They hurt her. They hurt us. I can't go back."

"Naturally," Nanaya agrees easily.

"But I don't like any of you," I continue. "I don't care about your stupid rebellion. I just have to fight."

"You have to fight?" Nanaya repeats.

"What do you not understand!?" I snap at her, bringing my hand down to slap the table. Yet at a speed I can barely follow, Melpomene catches my wrist.

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"Careful, darling," she says soothingly. "We only have the one table."

I open my mouth to yell at her too but find I no longer have any desire to. The anger just… faded away. There's nothing but emptiness left in me. Nothing but a hole.

"…I'm worthless at everything else," I say, addressing Nanaya again. "I'm not even all that good at fighting, either, but it's the only thing I can do at all. It's that or nothing, and…"

I've done nothing. I've done nothing for eight months. Existing in the darkness with nothing but my self-hate for company. Nanaya, Melpomene, Anath… they're probably all crazy, but they're better than that. Melpomene and I fought. I lost. And even though I got Minerva killed, I couldn't do the same to myself. I'm stuck being alive. So why not do the only thing my life is for?

I don't care what the reason is anymore. It just doesn't matter. I have to do it, or else I go back to nothing.

A hand on my shoulder snaps me out of my thoughts. I turn my head… and of course see nothing, though I can tell it's Melpomene. She gives my shoulder a light squeeze.

"You're alright now," she tells me. "You're here. With us."

What an absurd thing to say. I'm alright? I'll never be alright again. I—

"Food," Nanaya grunts, dropping a plate of something in front of me. I can only make out the general shape, though it smells… I don't know. Weird. Not a bad weird, but I think there might be something wrong with my nose.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Stew," Nanaya says.

Ah. That would explain the spoon. I think that's a spoon, at least? I manage to pick it up, successfully navigating myself a bite to eat with the help of Melpomene's… I don't know, magic farts or whatever.

Oh.

That tastes really good.

I quickly shovel down another bite.

"Slow down, darling, your stomach will need time to adjust!" Melpomene chides, but I really just do not give a fuck. This is the best thing I've ever tasted in my entire life.

"I-I got you more water!"

Hell yes. I grab it and start chugging it down.

"Fulgora! I said slow down!" Melpomene snaps, a sudden pulse of anger causing me to flinch.

"S-sorry," I stammer, freezing in place.

"It's for your own good, darling," she says. "You'll hurt your poor stomach if you give it too much at once. Nanaya will keep the food hot. It isn't going anywhere."

"Right," I say, still not really moving. "Sure. Sorry."

There's a pause.

"…Uh, you don't… want an upset tummy later, right?" Anath tries.

"Sure. Whatever," I agree. I get it. God. Let's just move past… whatever this is. I take another bite of food, carefully this time. It tastes just as good, but I don't care quite so much anymore.

I am such a mess. I knew I would be without her, but I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know why I do anything. Why am I even bothering? I'm finally out of the mist, so I should be able to just kill myself and get all of this over with. Instead I'm here, eating stew made by the woman who almost murdered my team.

…Her team. Not mine. What am I even thinking? She raised them up, she made them strong, and I didn't do anything but watch and grouse, telling her over and over to stop. That it was pointless. That she'd just get them killed again. But that was never her, was it? It was always me. I've always been the one getting everyone killed.

Ha. Haha. Maybe if I do want to get rid of the Dark Rebellion, the best way to do it would be to join them after all! Does it really matter how powerful Melpomene is if I'm just that cursed?

"…This is really good, Nana," Anath speaks up again. "Thank you."

Nanaya feels a little surprised, though I'm fairly certain she nods.

"Of course," she says.

God, it's only just now hitting me how absurd all of this is. They're so weirdly normal. Just… sitting around a dinner table eating stew. Who does that? I mean, I did that with Chloe and the others, but what kind of monster does that? How are these the same people who nearly dropped a kaiju on a fucking school?

Dinner continues with a disturbing lack of evil plots or mad ravings all the way until the very end. Ultimately, I do end up giving myself a stomachache, but the pain of overeating has nothing on the agony of starvation. It's… almost nice, though I can barely feel the pleasure before it slips away the moment I try to focus on it.

"Anath, please do the dishes," Nanaya announces.

"Wh—really?" Anath says, sounding surprised.

"Carefully," Nanaya insists. "I need to do Fulgora's medical examination. I'll be taking her to my room."

"Oh! Oh, um, sure," Anath agrees, her tail flicking behind her as she abruptly stands up and walks out of my sensory range.

Nanaya, meanwhile, gets up and walks behind me.

"Stay steady," she instructs. "You may wish to hold onto your chair."

And then, without further warning, she picks my chair up. I very nearly fall off, but her advice registers an instant before disaster. I manage to grab on, my tail kicking with surprise and causing Nanaya to grunt as it messes with her balance. Somehow, though, it all seems to work, and I take a very stressful ride on the chair she has lifted through the castle.

I, of course, can't see any of it. I can't keep track of where she's taking me. With Melpomene left behind, I'm truly, completely blind. There's nothing I can do but trust where Nanaya is taking me, and that's… I mean, what am I, stupid? Trusting Nanaya?

Oh, wait. Yeah. I am stupid. I'm the dumbest motherfucker alive. Nanaya eventually sets me down, and from the sound of it, closes a door behind us and locks it with a distinctive click. Truly, an auspicious start.

"Do you need any help taking off your clothes?" Nanaya asks.

"Uh, what?" I ask.

"…I did mention this is a medical examination, yes? I have to inspect the crystals growing out of your body, and given how many you have I find it unlikely they have opted to completely avoid sensitive areas. If it makes you uncomfortable, I should be able to avoid touching you for most of the examination, but I will at the very least need to see what I am doing."

I… okay. I was definitely not prepared for this.

"How about I just tell you to fuck off?" I say, though it comes out sounding more awkward than angry.

"I am not doing this for fun, you ungrateful fool," Nanaya snaps. "I'm doing it to save your life. Against my better judgement. It's not as though you have much modesty to cover; you're barely wearing tattered rags as it is. So take them off before I burn them off."

"Okay, geez!" I say, clawing at my own shirt only to realize that, yes, it's completely shredded and full of holes. How long has it been since Melpomene gave me these…? When was the last time I cleaned myself at all?

"I should probably take a bath or something," I realize.

"Yes," Nanaya confirms firmly. "You will be doing that. But this takes priority."

"Sure, I guess," I confirm. "Do I smell bad? I can't really smell anything."

"Well you have been wallowing in your own stench this entire time, so I imagine you have grown rather used to it," Nanaya says.

"I guess," I agree, struggling a bit more with my shirt.

Eh, fuck it. I just tear it off like tissue paper. Nanaya really wasn't kidding about how messed up it was. Now for the pants… hmm. Am I… wearing any pants? I seem to just be wearing shorts at best, the crystal growths trapping my legs having torn apart just about the entire thing, only barely sparing my crotch. I struggle with removing it for a while before giving up and tearing it apart, too.

"There," I say. "Done."

"Thank you," Nanaya says, though she doesn't sound very thankful at all. "Now stay still."

I do so, staying stiff as a board as she walks around me, casting spells and generally eyeing me from every angle, occasionally muttering to herself.

"…Is it alright if I touch you?" Nanaya asks.

"Go ahead, I guess," I allow, doing my best to ignore it as she pokes at one of the crystals on my belly, prodding the base where it's attached to the skin. I wince.

"Did that hurt?" she asks.

"Not really," I lie.

"So yes, then," she hums. "You're in better shape than I was afraid of, but not by much. This will be a difficult process. I will do my best to free your legs."

"Wait, what?" I say. "You can do that?"

"Most likely," Nanaya says. "It will hurt, but I suspect it won't be anything you can't tolerate."

"Bring it on," I agree.

"Mmm. Very well, then."

A dangerous spell flares right next to me, but I consciously avoid trying to defend myself. It's a win-win no matter how this goes, really. Honestly, everything feels a little less real without being able to see it. It's easier than I expected to ignore the pain blooming near my stomach and the disturbing feeling of loss that almost makes me shudder as Nanaya starts sanding down my crystal growths.

It's kind of like going to the dentist, except my entire body is made of teeth, and no one is trying to strike up annoying conversations with me while also insisting I don't move my mouth. And, of course, instead of an annoying light in my face, I am in perfect, total darkness. I can't tell what's happening to me, not really. Everything feels different without my eyes to confirm what they really are. Everything feels… bigger. As if without depth perception I'm completely incapable of understanding even the size of my own body.

Nanaya grinds away at what feels like massive crystalline protrusions, but in reality could be any size and I'd have no real way of knowing without reaching down and grabbing them with my hands. And honestly? That's the last thing I want to do, and not just because Nanaya has a very dangerous spell active on that area of my body. I haven't really made a habit of grabbing at the things growing all over my body in general, because I frankly do not want to know.

"Mmm," Nanaya hums ominously after… well, who knows how long? It's just more pain and darkness. Same as always. My sense of time is completely shot.

"What?" I ask.

"I have good news and bad news," Nanaya says.

"Give me the—"

"The good news," Nanaya barrels on, "is that I can free your legs."

"Oh! Uh. So the bad news is really bad, I take it?"

"Mmm. I'm most of the way done. I'm going to touch your left… foot."

"Why'd you say it like—bwah!?"

I flinch, jerking my leg away from… ah! I moved my leg! But that didn't feel right at all, it was way too stubby and small. Oh, damn it. Damn it all.

"…What happened to them?" I sigh.

"You don't truly have any feet," Nanaya says plainly. "Not anymore. They seem to have atrophied into some kind of spike or claw. What were your legs are now shorter and thinner than your arms. They're completely vestigial; borderline useless."

"Awesome," I say, even though this is of course not awesome at all. "Well, I probably shouldn't be walking around much anyway, right? Since I can't fucking see where I'm going, either."

"Mmm," Nanaya hums noncommittally. "Your mutations are the most advanced out of all of us, and certainly the most harmful. It may not be entirely negative; there are several more structures encased in crystal on your back and along your tail that seem to have unique muscular groups."

"Oh yeah, sure, that doesn't sound negative at all," I groan. "I'm just even more freaky underneath, right? No thanks, keep me in my teal cocoon."

"I refuse," Nanaya says. "I'm afraid many of those crystals absolutely must be removed for your own well-being. If there are any you would prefer to keep on the outside of your body, please let me know, but otherwise I am ripping them out wholesale."

"Ugh. If you're getting rid of those, you may as well get rid of all of them," I tell her. "It's not like I want to be covered in crystals."

"That, too, is ill-advised. A balance is preferable," Nanaya says. "Your body will grow crystals one way or another. However, if you have preexisting crystals, they will take most of the available energy to grow, as opposed to that same energy being used to develop new crystals that may be harmful."

"God, I liked you better when we were fighting," I grumble. "You talk way too much. Just fucking do it already; you clearly don't care about my opinion here."

"I care about ensuring you understand the situation you have found yourself in," Nanaya says sternly. "Your body has changed, Fulgora. You have changed. There are things you must learn to be able to manage yourself."

"Why do you care, though?" I ask. "Because you obviously don't like me. I could hear what you and Melpomene were talking about. You don't even want me here. Just leave me alone, let me die, and I'll be out of your hair."

"No," Nanaya snaps. "If you're going to insist on getting yourself killed, then I at least want to get something worthwhile out of it. And you won't be of any use to anyone if you can't even function. So, unless you opt to finally display some semblance of an informed preference on the matter, I will be sculpting your crystals how I see fit, fixing your damaged organs, and drilling basic self-maintenance into your skull so I don't have to keep doing this for you every damn month. Are we clear?"

She's probably glowering at me. I can't see it, so I just shrug.

"Crystal," I answer flatly.

"Ugh," she groans. "I can't believe I actually lost to a weak-willed idiot like you."

"You didn't," I remind her. "Minerva beat you. Not me."

"Case in point," she mutters under her breath, and then a spell starts holding me in place as she starts breaking apart my crystals some more. It's very uncomfortable, but I've had worse.

I have no way to know if hours pass or entire days, but given the schedules most people run off of, I'm gonna guess it's probably hours. Either way, Nanaya finally finishes whatever the hell she's been doing. I thought it was bad at first, but hoo boy did it get worse. Some of what she was doing got uncomfortably close to parts of my body I would much prefer she stay the fuck away from, but I suppose now that I'm eating again I'll eventually have to take a shit.

Relatedly: my tail is so big I don't really have a butt anymore, so my asshole is on the underside of it. I have no idea how I'm actually going to use a toilet, and I am not looking forward to finding out.

So in summary, everything about this sucks.

"Alright. Turn to the side… yes, good. Try to move some of the spines on your back," Nanaya says.

"Wait, spines plural?" I ask. "Not just the one spine? What the hell is my back supposed to use multiple spines for?"

"What are you… oh. No, Fulgora, not spine as in a collection of vertebrae, spines as in the back of a porcupine. Or… perhaps more of a sea urchin, in your case? No, wait. A lionfish. Interesting. I wonder if…"

Nanaya touches… something on my back, sending shudders through my entire body, and I feel her flinch. Did she just cut herself on part of my body?

"Mmm. Yes," Nanaya says. "That is extremely venomous."

I then hear a clattering thump behind me as Nanaya suddenly collapses to the ground.

"Oh, shit!" I swear, trying to jump to my feet but of course just falling off the chair instead. I suppose I couldn't let Nanaya one-up my idiocy today. "Ow!"

"That's… hngh. My line. That was very potent," Nanaya grumbles, starting to move again. "You'll have to be careful with those around anyone not in an incarnate form. I'll… figure out how to synthesize an antivenom, I suppose. I'll have to go to Earth to get you a wheelchair anyway."

"Huh? A wheelchair?" I ask.

"…Yes, Fulgora, a wheelchair," Nanaya says. "Your memory is even worse than I thought. I could have sworn you were just now reminded that you can't walk."

"Says the woman who decided to test for poison by cutting her finger on something," I shoot back.

"…I would advise you not to mention that to the others," Nanaya warns. Oooh, is that embarrassment I feel?

"Are you threatening me?" I ask. "What are you gonna do if I say something? Try to kick my ass? I'd be happy for the invitation."

"I need not resort to anything so brutish. I control the eating schedule for the entire castle. It will not be difficult to learn what you do and do not like."

"Insidious," I deadpan. "That'd definitely work on a few people I know. Joke's on you, though: Chloe told me I had an eating disorder before I spent eight months literally trying to starve myself to death."

"Who is 'Chloe?'" Nanaya asks. "Hmm… that is an epithet of Demiter, is it not? A former teammate, perhaps?"

"Yeah, I'm not answering that question," I say, trying not to laugh. As funny as the thought of Magical Girl Chloe is, I under no circumstances want her on this insane woman's radar. "Though for what it's worth, all the teams I've been on so far have used the Roman names for gods, not the Greek ones."

God. Chloe. Maybe this is all a moot point. For all I know she's dead. There's no way that fight ended with no casualties. There are always gawkers. Then again, does it even matter? Ideally, I'll never see her again either way. It would only put her in danger.

Don't think about it. Don't think about it.

Water water water water.

"So anyway, let's circle back to the part where you thought stabbing yourself was a good idea," I say out loud.

"I could leave you there on the floor," Nanaya grumbles.

"Sure," I say. "Go for it. I don't give a fuck."

She pauses at that, taking a moment to realize that I am entirely serious. I've spent a long time lying down on Dark World rocks, and this stone castle is among the comfiest. It's certainly better than that damn chair. Nanaya's the only person here who doesn't have a tail! Why doesn't their table have more stools?

"…I am functionally immune to poison," Nanaya says, wisely opting not to call a bluff I very much wasn't making. "Or so I thought. Apparently, I am mistaken."

A knock at the door interrupts my response, but that's fine because I have no idea what that response was going to be, and I don't particularly care.

"Nana? Is everything okay in there?" Anath asks. "I finished the dishes."

"What do you mean you finished the dishes?" Nanaya asks. "Just now?"

"I… yes? You told me to do the dishes," Anath squeaks.

"Anath, it has been several hours," Nanaya says.

"I-I was t-trying to be careful! Like you said! I didn't want to break anything, I… sorry."

Nanaya sighs.

"…It is fine. Did you break anything?"

"No! No, I didn't," Anath insists.

"Good job, Anath," Nanaya tells her. There's a brief bloom of happiness that emits from within the bubble of melancholy that is Anath's current emotions.

"Thanks," she says. "I-I brought some more water for Fulgora!"

Water, water, water, water!

"Hell yeah, bring it in," I call out.

"Okay!" Anath agrees, and I hear the doorknob jiggle.

"Wait—!" Nanaya tries, but then there's a sharp sound as the lock on her door snaps and Anath pushes the door open without even seeming to notice it.

"Here you—eeek!"

The sound of shattering glass is what finally gets me off the floor, my body trying to jolt upright as my 'legs' scrabble uselessly against the ground, and all sorts of weird feelings along my back and tail (my fucking spines, I guess?) flare outwards. Did… did she drop my water? Noooo no no no my water…

Water? Water? Water! Water!

"Why is she naked!?" Anath shrieks.

Oh yeah, I'm naked. I forgot.

"Because I had to remove nearly thirty pounds of crystal from her body!" Nanaya answers. "The door was locked for her privacy! Get out!"

"It's fine, I don't care," I grunt. My body is so impossibly fucked up that what does it even matter? Clothes, no clothes… anyone seeing any of it is more shameful than someone looking at my damn nipples, or… whatever the hell may or may not have happened to my vagina. I'm not thinking about it! Out of sight, out of mind, and now everything is out of sight forever.

"Are you sure?" Nanaya presses.

"I'm sure," I insist.

"Are you sure you're sure?" Anath squeaks.

"I said I'm fucking sure!" I snap at her. "Jesus!"

"S-sorry!"

"Fine. Whatever," Nanaya grumbles. "She can do the rest of my job, then. Anath, help her get to a bath, and see if any of your clothes fit her. I'm heading out. …And adding plastic cups to the shopping list. Clean that up."

She storms off, leaving me alone with a very flustered squirrel. Is that… orange magic? Whatever, I don't care, I don't fucking care about anything.

"Do you… need help?" Anath asks.

"Nah, I was figuring I could find the bathroom in a giant castle I don't know the layout of while totally blind all by myself," I deadpan.

"Oh, okay."

There's a pause.

"…I was being sarcastic, idiot," I tell her.

"Oh! Oh, sorry!"

God, this is so weird. What is happening to me today? Where's the Melpomene who acts like a middle school theater kid before trying to kill everyone? Where's the child-murdering Nanaya who would burn herself alive just to hurt me? Where's the batshit insane Anath who smashes up a privately owned pet store to draw me out for a bloody-knuckle fistfight? Why the hell is everyone acting so… normal?

Why, all of a sudden, am I the only monster here?

"Should I… carry you?" Anath asks. "Is that okay?"

"Sure," I grunt. "Be careful, though. Apparently the spines Nanaya broke out of containment are super poisonous."

"Spines… plural?" Anath asks. "How does that even work?"

"No, like a sea urchin," I explain.

"I thought those didn't have bones," Anath says.

"…Just don't cut yourself on any sharp parts of me, okay?" I sigh.

"Oh, sure! I can do that," Anath agrees, and now it's official. Every non-Amalthea member of the Dark Rebellion has picked me up and carried me around like I'm a fucking baby. But apparently she defected or something because nothing makes sense anymore, and I shouldn't even try to understand any of it.

"Hey, it's… it's gonna be okay," Anath says softly. "We're gonna take care of you."

"Sure seems that way," I agree. "What I can't figure out is why."

"Well… I don't know about the others, but I'm doing it because I like you!" Anath says.

"You like fighting me," I correct. "That's not the same."

She doesn't answer, instead just getting even more sad. Well, wallow in it. See if I care. She takes me somewhere and sets me down in what feels like a large bathtub. Unfortunately, it doesn't actually have any water in it yet.

"Oh… shoot. Nana usually heats it up," Anath says.

"Whatever, just pour it on me cold," I tell her somewhat impatiently.

Water, water, water, water.

"Really? Okay, I—"

"MELPOMENE!"

Again, I flop around quite embarrassingly at the sudden noise, nearly toppling over the bathtub, because I guess it's not built into the room? Now I know! Why did Nanaya suddenly scream Melpomene's name? Thankfully, my hearing remains quite good, so after Nanaya rushes back up the stairs (ah, right, she had just left the castle to go to Earth) and runs into the purple bitch, I can listen in on their whispered conversation.

"Luna is alive," Nanaya says.

What the hell…?

"How the fuck could that girl be alive?" Melpomene asks.

"Thea must have managed it somehow," Nanaya says. "You know she's a miracle worker."

"Are you certain?" Melpomene asks. "How can you be sure?"

"Because there was a five million dollar withdrawal from our account just yesterday," Nanaya says, "and the name for the transaction is simply, and I quote, 'I lived, bitch.'"

A pause.

"And then, for some reason, an angle bracket, a colon, and the number three," Nanaya concludes. "Which has to be purposeful, but I have no earthly idea what it could mean."

I do not need enhanced hearing to listen in on the rest of the conversation, because it is entirely composed of Melpomene's furious, wordless screaming.