60. Reunited
"Goodness!" Uma'tama exclaims as I push past the Earth Guardians. "Thea, dear…"
"Please give us some space!" I call back to them.
"Oh, alright," Uma'tama says, sounding a little disappointed.
"What do you mean 'oh, alright?'" Amaterasu groans. "Shouldn't we be keeping an eye on them?"
"But they asked for some space," Uma'tama points out. Wow. What a great cat. They deserve treats later.
For now, though, I follow Thea as she turns down another hall and ends up barging into a messy-looking room. She tries to close the door on me, but I hold out my arm and stop it before it can latch.
"G—" Thea starts to shout at me, but she cuts herself off, smacking her hands over her own mouth as the tears redouble.
She was about to tell me to go away. That's the only logical… no, it's not the only logical extrapolation actually, it could have been any number of things, I probably don't need to go away because it would be terrible to leave my master alone while she's distressed, right? Right. Of course. Makes perfect sense. I force myself to stop thinking about it and push into the room, latching the door behind me.
The room is mostly bare, with an entirely unused bed in one corner, a pile of all the blankets and sheets that would be on it on the floor next to it, and a basket of unfolded laundry sitting next to an empty dresser. Thea's personal room, I assume. Most of her stuff is probably in the workshop. I can only assume Uma'tama forced her to actually sleep in here instead of in there.
"I'm sorry," Thea blubbers. "I'm sorry. I'm already screwing everything up."
I synthesize a sigh, checking my memory banks for a particular spell. I've been ordered not to talk about this, but it's obvious that we need to talk about this. We just also need to make sure no one overhears. Fortunate, then, that I have so much experience with masters having this exact issue. I feel my spell core unlock and spool online, and my memory reminds me of the exact formulae used in the privacy ward on Melpomene's own room. It costs a hefty four percent of my already dwindling reserves to activate, but soon enough our room is locked and soundproof.
"There," I say. "This should be safe enough. A Preserver could probably teleport in here, but I'll sense it if they do, and we'll be able to just stop talking. So. First things first: I understand. You're fine, Thea."
"It's not fine,"she insists.
"It's not good," I correct, "but as a temporary measure it is fine. You're going to still be working to fix this, right?"
"Of course!" she insists. "Of course."
"Then you made the right call," I say. "I'd rather be online and chained to you than dead somewhere on the Preserver homeworld, okay? And this is the best time to have a breakdown over it, since everyone is going to assume you're crying about Melpomene."
"I'm not not crying about Melpomene," she sniffs. "I… she's…"
"I know," I assure her. "You don't have to say it."
In fact, I would rather you didn't say it. I don't want to have to hear that you still love her, even after all this.
"But there's also you," Thea says, wiping off her face with her hands. "I thought it would be easy. I just wouldn't give you any orders! But it's… it's more complicated than that, isn't it? I didn't mean to order you around, but it's just any imperative statement, isn't it? I promise I didn't mean to, I'm really really sorry."
"It's… more than that," I tell her hesitantly. "Honestly, orders aren't even the biggest thing. The way it works is that I'm compelled to act in whatever way I think you'll want most or is best for your interests. Orders just make what you want more explicit. I can disobey them, but only if I honestly think they aren't something you really mean."
"Oh, frick," Thea says, deflating even further. "That's… I…"
God I'm making her miserable. Should I not have told her all of that…? Surely she'd want to know, right? Yeah. Of course she would. I need to not overthink this!
"Trust me, Thea, I'm used to dealing with a lot worse," I tell her. "Melpomene would…"
This is not something she would want me to tell her about, actually. She wouldn't want to know how I was beaten, or the ways that woman would force me to accompany her and talk to her and do things for her that were frankly far worse than any threats of physical violence.
"…It's not important," I lie. "But what matters is that knowing you want the best for me means I can interpret what I have to do in that light. And that is a huge deal. You care about me. You genuinely care about me. If you accidentally end up making me do something, and I know you didn't mean to, then you haven't actually made me do it. Neat little trick, yeah? It's a bit of a safety net."
It was horrible before, of course, since Mel very much did not have my best interests at heart, but I think that little loophole will come in a lot more handy now. But there's no need to point that out; the important thing right now is making Thea feel better about all this.
"I don't like this," Thea insists, sniffling up some dripping snot. "I don't like this at all."
"Good!" I say. "I would be concerned if you did! But you saved my life, Thea. That had to come first. The rest of this, we can figure out together, okay?"
"Wouldn't it be safer if you just… stayed away from me?" Thea groans.
"I don't think that's going to be an option," I tell her. "And besides, I don't want to."
Even if, yes, it would be safer. It would be smarter. Minimizing the number of situations where Thea can influence me might help her feel better… but she's also obviously in desperate need of a direct emotional support system. Uma'tama means well, but they have no idea what they're doing. Then we have Castalia, who seems to have completely isolated herself again waiting for me to get back, and finally the rest of the Earth Guardians, who all treat her with various degrees of suspicion and/or are eleven years old, tops. Not the best company for someone having a serious emotional crisis as a result of the most important person in her life turning out to be a complete fucking monster in every sense of the word.
Thea needs me. I can't avoid her. The fact that I also don't want to is merely a fortunate coincidence. But after all this? I will take a goddamn fortunate coincidence. I certainly think I'm owed a few!
"Come on, Thea, let's get back out there before anyone gets too suspicious," I say. "It's going to be okay, I promise."
"How will I know?" she whimpers. "How will I know I'm not doing something to you?"
"Well, you're an empath, right?" I remind her. "As long as I don't feel like I did eight months ago, you're probably doing pretty okay!"
Gah. That didn't make her feel better. Too soon, I guess. It's a good thing I physically can't vomit!
"Ready to go?" I ask, trying to brush past it.
"S-sure," Thea says. "Okay."
I remove all traces of the privacy spell as best as I can and open the door for her, taking her by the hand and gently leading her back to the others as she desperately tries to wipe the rest of the mucus off her face. They're all just standing awkwardly around where we left them, arguing in hushed tones.
"Okay, we're back!" I say to everyone as cheerfully as I can. "You wouldn't happen to have any tissues in this secret alien paramilitary base, would you?"
"…I have some in my room," Veritas says with a scowl. "I'll go get some."
"Thanks, Veritas," I say.
She huffs and walks off. I guess you can only toss a girl like a discus so many times before she starts to get annoyed with you. …Nonconsensually, anyway. In the right circumstances, I'm sure a lot of people would enjoy being tossed around. Maybe we should get Veritas a bouncy castle.
"We're sorry, Thea," Uma'tama coos, floating over to place a reassuring paw on the girl's head. "We did not consider how stressful this conversation would be for you."
"It… it's alright," Thea says softly. "I just… I don't understand why she would ever say something like that. Why she would ever think anything like that."
"It is not like the Melpomene I knew," Castalia agrees softly.
"Am I the only one here who remembers the existence of Dark World corruption?" Amaterasu asks. "She is insane."
"W-well I've been living in the Dark World just as long as she has, and I'm not insane!" Thea protests, her tail thrashing against the ground. "I mean… I hope?"
"…You are barely even human anymore," Amaterasu says, instinctively stepping back when the crystal blade on Thea's tail strikes against the ground. "The very fact that is so mundane to you is evidence something has altered your mind."
Thea's expression of hurt nearly causes me to flinch. Okay, stepping in.
"That's idiotic," I tell Amaterasu bluntly. "You've seen Thea's incarnate form, you know she doesn't self-identify as what the Dark World turned her into. You're just being an asshole for no reason."
"Language!" Aurora protests, stamping her foot.
"I'm right, though," I press. "To be honest, I don't know if the Dark World mists actually drive anyone insane. Personally, it's a little too convenient of an explanation for my tastes. You know what else can drive someone insane? Isolation. Alienation. Being made into an outsider and treated like a monster. All of that applies to the Dark Rebellion, too."
"Are you saying it's our fault that you and your friends tried to kill us in an unprovoked attack!?" Amaterasu growls.
"Oh no, absolutely not," I say, holding up my hands in surrender. "Seriously, I cannot possibly overstate the degree to which I hate those…"
I glance at Aurora.
"…Jerks," I decide on. "My point is the opposite: no matter how crazy they are or why, they're responsible for their own decisions and should be judged based on those decisions. Nothing else. Being a weird monster person should not be an issue. The murder and mind control should be the issue, and Thea is pretty obviously on our side there. I mean, she turned herself in, right?"
"The thing about turning yourself in is that you only need to do it if you are guilty of crimes," Amaterasu growls.
"Oh no! How horrible!" I mock. "Someone feels guilty about a bad thing they were involved in! Better treat them like shit instead of supporting their desire to atone, that'll certainly lead to good places!"
"L—"
"Language, I know, sorry," I sigh. "I just… Thea doesn't deserve this, okay? All this bad stuff that happened to me was behind her back, and everything she got involved with made my life dramatically better. She is a fundamentally good person, and she saved my life, and I'm not going to let any of you be mean to her!"
"Are you threatening me?" Amaterasu asks dangerously.
"Oh my god, NO!" I snap back at her. "Why is that your first assumption? Oh who am I kidding, you're a goddamn child soldier, of course your first reaction to everything is violence. No, Amaterasu, I'm afraid that normal people usually try to solve disputes with their words rather than their magical death beams. That is all that I meant."
"I do not think you qualify as a normal person, robot."
"Oh, so we're resorting to racism now," I sigh. "Classy."
"Wh-what!?"
"Okay! We think that perhaps this conversation should be ending for now!" Uma'tama says loudly. "Amaterasu, we know that we've talked about this before, but do try to give Thea a chance. We believe she has shown her trustworthiness and willingness to be one of us again. Luna, please do not rile Amaterasu up. She is not even a red mage."
"Is that really the problem here?" I ask.
"Well, we are fairly sure it is also not very nice," Uma'tama concedes.
"Great! Awesome! We are hitting the barest minimum of social comprehension," I groan. "I can't handle this right now. [Sᴋᴇᴛɪsᴏʜ]!"
Amaterasu and Aurora leap back and grab their stones because I guess their dumb organic brains can't determine every effect of a spell before it completes casting, but all that happens is a flash of light surrounds me, and all of a sudden I'm wearing my skinsuit again, complete with the outfit I had on… eight fucking months ago, I guess. Fortunately, hiding away in extradimensional space seems to be good for avoiding wear and tear.
"Don't just suddenly cast spells in the middle of the base!" Amaterasu hisses.
"I just spent the last few months of my life from my perspective enslaved and forced to follow the orders of a crazy lady who actively enjoyed making me suffer, so maybe don't tell me what to do!" I snap back. "I'm officially an Earth Guardian now, right?"
"Er, well yes, we suppose," Uma'tama confirms.
"And you don't force Earth Guardians to hang out in the base against their will?" I press.
"We do not," Uma'tama says firmly.
"Then I am leaving," I declare. "Because apparently, I have been unconscious for the last eight months, and none of you bothered to tell any of my friends what happened to me! Seriously, what the hell!?"
"Did… did you just turn back into a human…?" Aurora gapes at me.
Oh my god.
"Thea. Castalia," I say with false sweetness. "Did you explain anything about me to anyone?"
"Y-yes!" Thea insists. "I told Castalia about the skinsuit I made, she just didn't believe me."
"…I believe you now," Castalia says.
Oh my god I am so mad right now. Maybe half as mad as Bean is going to be at me for doing this to them again. I was distracted before with the whole 'coming back to life' and 'my master running away to her room to sob' bits, but I can't fucking believe Castalia just never told anyone I was alive. Even if she didn't know for sure, she seriously never said anything? She didn't reach out once?
Wait. Who am I kidding? Of course she didn't. She didn't reach out to Melpomene for six whole years, and they had been together for like, what, a decade beforehand? Castalia is so socially inept that she's one of the most famous people in the entire world, and yet she didn't successfully make a single friend until she was forced to live with someone. She's like, pathologically incapable of reaching out to people.
Oh fuck. Am I empathizing with Melpomene? Nuh-uh, nope, screw that. I'm forgiving Castalia out of spite. And also because of my huge crush probably.
"Castalia, you're coming with me to apologize to your friends," I declare. "And also to not drive Amaterasu up the wall thinking about an artifact walking around and living her life without supervision."
"…Su-san," Amaterasu mumbles.
"Huh?" I say.
"You may call me Su-san," she clarifies. Oh! Huh. Nickname or preferred name? I guess it's something of a peace offering either way. I wonder if the change in heart is because I look like a human now.
"Okay, will do," I nod to her. "Does anyone have any objections to me telling the people I care about what happened to me? Am I obligated to keep any of this a secret still?"
"As an Earth Guardian, it is your duty to not allow artifacts into the wrong hands," Uma'tama says. "You must not by any means share how your body functions or pass along any information on how one might potentially recreate it. But the nature of your existence is not, in itself, a secret. Most of the world has already seen recordings of the battle that took place at your school."
"…Oh," I say. That kinda sucks. People are probably going to assume I'm evil and/or crazy if I go outside without wearing any skin. Lame.
Still, though! I have official permission to tell my friends what happened! That's… pretty awesome, honestly. It's been a long time coming. I hope they can forgive me, but even if they don't, I owe it to them to tell them what happened.
"I brought some tissues," Veritas says, stepping back into the hallway. "Wait, who's that? Where did the robot go?"
"I'm the robot," I sigh. "And you've met me before! I bought you lunch, remember?"
"Huh," Veritas says, blinking once, then twice. "Huh!? Wait, what!? But you don't look like a robot at all! You don't act like a robot either!"
"Yeah, I was being forced to pretend," I remind her. "I think I remember Aurora almost figuring me out, though. Didn't she mention anything?"
"I did," Aurora pouts. "Several times."
"The artifact bought me lunch…?" Veritas says quietly, not seeming to have paid much attention to either of us.
"Well," I say, "if you didn't know Thea was a genius before, you know she is now. Even I'll admit it's crazy how well this disguise held up."
Thea mumbles something unintelligible and almost certainly cute. I poke her in the cheek, causing her to repeat the process. Wow. Automatic noise-making device. Amazing.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
"Anyway, we're leaving I guess," I say. "If anyone is planning to stalk Castalia and me because you don't trust me, then just come with us normally and don't be weird about it. Okay? Okay. Great. Castalia, how do we leave?"
"This way," Castalia says, floating gently past me and down the hall.
"Your friend is very bossy, Castalia," Aurora comments as she passes by.
"Yes," Castalia agrees. "It's nice."
Uh? I think I should be blushing. Although… I guess I don't have to do any of the pretend-to-be-human stuff anymore. I'm mostly just wearing the skin because it's either this or my delicate internals being exposed to the elements.
"What do you mean it's nice?" I ask, power-walking to catch up with my floating guide.
"It… can be hard to do things on my own sometimes," Castalia admits. "You were right. I should have spoken with our other friends. But I did not."
"What exactly have you been doing for the past eight months?" I ask.
"Thinking," she answers.
"Just… thinking?"
"Well, I have mostly returned to active duty as well," Castalia says. "Our college classes were put on hold from all the damage, and they won't resume until later this year. It was important that I still had something to do."
"So you would go out, fight monsters, and then come back here and… think all day," I summarize.
"Yes," Castalia confirms.
"Well. Was it… productive?" I ask.
"No," Castalia answers.
"Oh," I say. "You're depressed."
"Probably," Castalia agrees. "I have had to use sadness for a lot of my work lately."
"Er, wait, how does that work?" I ask. "Wouldn't that be basically worthless with your… oh. Oh gosh, how did I not notice?"
"Mmm," Castalia hums, briefly causing her collarbone to glow where there is very distinctly no transformation stone.
"You didn't get it replaced!?" I gape.
"I don't need it," Castalia answers. "And without a crystal intermediary through which to cast spells, it does not particularly matter what kind of magic I use. Sadness and happiness are equally efficient in the absence of a tool that specializes in one or the other."
"Woah," I manage. That… sounds pretty damn useful. "Tools are still intended to be a force multiplier though, right? It's gotta be limiting to some degree to not use any at all."
"It's difficult," Castalia confirms. "I suppose the portion of my time that was productive revolved around getting used to this new style of casting. It is complicated, but rewarding. I like it."
"Well… congratulations, I suppose!" I say. "You really are incredible, you know that?"
"Not really," Castalia says. "Though that does seem to be the prevailing opinion."
"That's definitely the depression talking," I sigh, following her into a weirdly empty dead-end room with bright circles on the ground. The hell is this…? Castalia floats over one of them, so I join her, and… oh! Woah. This is a fancy teleportation spell! Aw, shoot, I can't see all of the… oh.
All of a sudden, we're outside, in some random-ass alleyway. Er… not so random, I suppose. Now that we're officially on Earth (compared to… wherever the hell we just were), I can connect to the internet pretty fast, nabbing our GPS location and figuring out exactly where in town we popped out. I can also log into a few accounts, which… oh. Right.
Time for this again.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Hey. I have internet access again, no thanks to you. I heard something big went down. Can you at least tell me if you're alive?
Well, it'll be a good way to get power, at least.
[MeanBeanMachine]: No? Just ghosting me? Awesome. Incredible. You're the shittiest fucking friend in the world.
My power reserves have increased to 13%.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Please don't actually be dead. Please. Can you say something? Anything? Even just to tell me to shut up?
My power reserves have increased to 15%.
[MeanBeanMachine]: God damnit. God damnit don't you dare do this to me again, Luna! Don't you fucking dare! SAY SOMETHING!
My power reserves have increased to 17%.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Fuck you. You'd better actually be dead this time. If I have to mourn you a third time I don't think I'll survive it.
My power reserves have increased to 20%.
[MeanBeanMachine]: I miss you.
My power reserves have increased to 22%. And… that's it. That's their last message, from about four months ago. They definitely, actually think I'm dead this time. But… hey. They're online.
God this is going to be so fucking awkward.
[LunaLightOTK]: So. Um. Good news. I can tell you everything now. Also: I am really, really, really, really, really sorry.
And the typing begins. Oh boy.
"Are you okay?" Castalia asks.
Huh? Oh. Right. Empath.
"Reading everything Bean sent me while they thought I was dead," I say. "So not really."
"Oh. I suppose you can do that, can't you?"
"Yeah."
And there's the reply.
[MeanBeanMachine]: FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
Yeah that's about what I expected.
[MeanBeanMachine]: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
[LunaLightOTK]: I deserve that. Sorry. Shit was absolutely insane. Still is, honestly. But I absolutely deserve that.
[MeanBeanMachine]: You're seriously alive? Again!? Ohhhhh my god. Oh my god oh my god oh my god. Fuck! You owe Chloe a million fucking dollars for doing your job.
My job…? Oh. Oh. They mean Chloe talked them out of killing themselves. Awesome. Awesome awesome awesome super awesome.
My power reserves have increased to 25%.
[LunaLightOTK]: Well. I. Can probably actually get you all a million dollars because I'm an alien-designed robot and the more time I spend with human encryption algorithms the more they feel like chewing on delicious rock candy. That's the, uh, thing I couldn't tell you. I'm the evil artifact.
[MeanBeanMachine]: No.
[LunaLightOTK]: I realize it sounds crazy but I absolutely would never joke about this.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Hi, this is Chloe, Bean is a little distressed right now. I think this might work better if we had this conversation in person. Is that possible/okay? My address is linked here.
Location data pops up in my mind. Chloe's house. Bean is at Chloe's house? That… actually makes sense and is probably good for both of them.
[LunaLightOTK]: Chloe, you're a saint. Thank you. Is it alright if I bring Castalia?
[MeanBeanMachine]: Castalia's alive!?
[LunaLightOTK]: …Yes. She's been doing magical girl stuff again apparently? Do people think she's dead?
[MeanBeanMachine]: Wait, if you're the robot, didn't you two try to kill each other?
[LunaLightOTK]: Yeah but thankfully she kicked my ass. Anyway you're right, we should definitely have this conversation in person. We'll be there in like, two to three minutes.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Oh, you're already nearby?
[LunaLightOTK]: Not really, but you know. Castalia.
"Okay," I say out loud. "I have our destination. Mind carrying me?"
Castalia just nods, her telekinesis wrapping itself around me and lifting both of us straight up out of the alleyway. Once we're above the rooftops, I point toward Chloe's house, and we accelerate toward it at a speed that might cause a normal person to pass out. I point down at her house as we approach it, and before I know it we're touching down gently on Chloe's porch. Or, well… I'm touching down gently. Castalia remains floating, as always.
I knock on the door, and it opens almost immediately, revealing a very flustered-looking Chloe. Her hair is longer than I remember. I guess she's growing it out…? God. It feels like I saw her yesterday, but…
"Holy shit, you really are here," Chloe breathes. "You're both here. You're alive. Is… is Eliza okay, too?"
Castalia and I glance at each other.
"No," she says.
"We don't know," I say.
Chloe sighs.
"…Yeah, I figured it was too much to hope for."
There's a pause.
"Wait, you can talk!?" she gapes at me.
"Oh. Yeah," I confirm. "I never did it before because my mouth doesn't move. I'm hooked up to a speaker."
She stares at me for a while, taking a moment to process that. Eventually she just shakes her head and turns away, motioning us inside.
"Well, come in, both of you," she says, and we follow her.
It's the sort of house a polite person would refer to as 'quaint.' Single-story (discounting a likely basement) and showing its age, it has an uneven mix of wear and care marking its walls. Some paint fades, and some paint looks relatively new, like there have been attempts at a renovation multiple times that each only covered a small part of the house. The resulting whole is uneven but not unpleasant: the place is clean, well-lit, and generally homely.
"Oh, we have a dog, and my dad is also home," Chloe says. "They're hanging out together on the back porch right now, and Bosco is a therapy dog, so he's very well-trained, but if either of you are bad with dogs I just wanted to let you know."
"I'm not much of a dog person, but I'm fine with them," I tell her.
"I like dogs," Castalia says.
"Great," Chloe sighs, craning her neck to call into the other room. "Bean? You ready?"
"I guess!" my best friend calls back frustratedly.
"Okay," Chloe says, and we follow her further into the house, ending up in a cozy little living room with an old couch, an older armchair, and a relatively new TV looking comparatively out of place.
More importantly, though, the room also contains Bean. They're standing in the middle of the room in an odd spot that makes me think they were probably pacing back and forth before we got here. They turn to face us, and it's easy to tell from their reddened eyes and glistening cheeks that they've recently been crying.
"Hey," I say softly. "I—"
"It's not her fault," Castalia blurts.
Oh. I wasn't expecting that. It's not like Castalia to interrupt someone.
"It's not her fault," she repeats. "It's my fault. Luna hasn't been conscious until today. But I should have said something."
Whatever emotion Bean was building up inside themselves on seeing me seems to deflate at that.
"…You're saying she's been in a coma?" they ask.
"Not precisely, but I think that is a close analogy…?" Castalia says hesitantly, turning to me.
"…It's probably easiest if I just show both of you," I sigh. "This is gonna be a little freaky, is that alright? I promise I'm okay now, and there's no need to worry about anything, but it might look a little worrying."
"Um… sure," Chloe allows hesitantly.
"Do what you're gonna do, drama queen," Bean mutters.
"Alright," I nod. "[Sᴋᴇᴛɪsᴏʜ]"
In a flash of blue, I'm once again standing bare. Most of my plating is missing, leaving me a mess of advanced motors, crystalline wires and deep blue lines of magitech that no one in the world understands, barring perhaps Thea. Even I don't have access to the knowledge of how most of my core systems work.
Still, if there are any doubts about whether or not I'm truly a machine, they're impossible to hold now. I am the artifact. I'll never be anything else again.
"So," I say, "way back when Bean lost contact with me the first time, I was kidnapped and turned into this. I used a highly advanced synthetic human costume made with Antipathy tech to pretend to still be human, but in reality, I was an unwilling slave of the bitch who blew up our school. Wow my life sounds like a cartoon plot now that I say it out loud."
Chloe and Bean mostly respond by staring at me open-mouthed, their eyes going over all the little intricate details of my body. Not out of any particular interest, I suspect, but just because it's a lot. I am a very complicated piece of machinery. Also they're probably just overwhelmed and coping.
"So yeah, Melpomene ripped my soul out of my body and stuffed it in a sexy robot that has to obey all her commands. She has issues. That's what happened to me, and why I kept insisting over and over that you needed to not tell me if you figure stuff out. I literally had to protect my identity, because she told me to, and she could have ordered me to kill any of you at any time. Which she eventually did! Fortunately, Castalia turned me into scrap, and Thea spent the last eight months cracking my OS, and now I am once again a free woman! Which is awesome because I even get to keep the robot body."
They keep staring at me. I make jazz hands.
"Ta-daaaaa!" I conclude.
Chloe collapses onto the couch. Bean steps forward, reaches out a hand, and flicks me on the forehead. There's a dull clonk and they pull their hand back, shaking it out.
"I really am sorry about being such an awful jerk to you, Bean," I say. "I just didn't want you to die."
"You were a slave?" they ask. "Just a straight-up actual slave?"
"Yeah," I confirm.
"Why were you attending school, then?"
"That one's complicated," I admit. "Thea helped with that, mostly unwittingly. Nanaya helped too, I guess, though… I'm not really sure what her deal is anymore. To make a very long story short, Melpomene was doing everything in her power to hide the fact that I was a slave from the rest of her team, because Thea and Anath at least have basic human decency and would have definitely not been okay with it. So when stuff comes up with the entire group, I had a lot more leeway to make my opinion actually matter. Things honestly weren't that bad for a while there, at least by slave standards, but… then they got really bad. And now apparently eight months have passed, and I'm here!"
"God," Bean swears, sitting down on the couch next to Chloe. "I thought for sure you had died in the mess that happened on campus."
"It's a miracle I didn't," I tell them frankly. "I'm only here because of Castalia."
"…I did not do as much as I should have," Castalia disagrees.
"So you've been unconscious this whole time?" Chloe asks. "You mentioned it was kind of a coma, but only kind of."
"Yeah, I was in the torment nexus," I shrug.
"Uh, the what?" Chloe asks as Bean facepalms.
"The torment nexus!" I repeat. "So my crystals are currently configured to receive the most power from my own sadness. When I took catastrophic damage, my body decided it needed more power to repair itself, so it picked apart my memories and had my soul relive them over and over again to farm power. Because magic is just fucked up like that, it turns out. So, you know, not a fun time."
"This is such bullshit," Bean groans. "How am I supposed to be mad at you? You do all this, you put me through all this, and now it's like oh yeah, you were in the torment nexus slave robot the whole time. Not your fault!"
"I am still wrapping my head around the 'robot' part of this, let alone the torment nexus slave bits," Chloe adds helplessly.
I… okay. Maybe I'm going a little too fast with this. Even Castalia is giving me somewhat of an odd look. For her, I mean.
"Sorry," I apologize. "I should stop talking and ask about what happened to both of you. From my perspective, the big fight happened like, yesterday? But it's actually been the better part of a year, and I still haven't totally grasped that. I sound chipper, but I'm just synthesizing my voice and burning my negative emotions for fuel because I'm really low on batteries. Sorry, I'll shut up for real now. Can I sit next to you guys?"
"Go for it," Bean grunts, waving at the empty space next to them.
I carefully sit down. Castalia remains floating. Nobody talks.
"So… you two are living together now," I say. "That's cool. I assume Chloe offered to help after I… well. Put you on that bus?"
Bean lets out a deep breath through their nose, then finally lifts their head to look at me.
"Yeah," they confirm. "Chloe and I have been getting through this together. We're spending a lot of time with Eliza's brother, too. He doesn't have many other people, so… it's been good for all three of us."
"Castalia said she's dead," Chloe speaks up. "But you said that you didn't know. Why?"
"Oh, um… she got lost in the Dark World," I say. "They never found the body. Thea said that Melpomene said she killed Minerva, but Mel is a liar through and through. I don't want to give you false hope, though. She's… probably gone, Chloe. I'm sorry."
"Fuck," Chloe summarizes succinctly.
"Yeah," I agree. "I'm really sorry. There was probably something more I could have done, if I had just figured it out. Then again, if I figured out a way to stop Mel, I would have had to purposefully not do it, so… yeah. It's been a bit of a mess."
"Oh, 'It's been a bit of a mess,' she says, talking about a horrific transformation into an alien slave robot," Bean groans. "So you were forced to fight Castalia? Savior of the world Castalia?"
"I was forced to do a lot of things," I answer. "That was one of them."
Ooh, have my power reserves hit thirty percent already? Nice, nice. It's always good to not be on the verge of deactivation.
"Luna," Castalia says. "Are you blueburning?"
"Maybe," I answer.
"…Don't?"
"Would a depressive spiral actually be better? Because I feel like those are my two options," I tell her.
"What's 'blueburning?'" Chloe asks.
"Oh, it just means I can't feel sad right now because I'm eating the delicious sadness for lunch, yum yum yum," I explain.
"It is very unhealthy," Castalia says.
"Uh, yeah, I guessed that," Chloe says, standing up and moving to sit on the other side of me, sandwiching me between her and Bean. "Hey. Luna. You know how the two of us would lament together about how much Eliza needed therapy?"
"I knoooow," I groan. "I know! Trust me! I've only been free for a day, though, I haven't exactly had time to schedule myself an appointment. And besides, what sort of therapist would I even get? Who specializes in victims of slave robotization? Is that gonna be on their business card?"
"It… might take a few tries, but I'm sure we can find someone who can help," Chloe says hesitantly.
"Probably," I wave her off. "Seriously though, I'm past the worst of it. I want to hear what you and Bean have been up to. What did I miss?"
"I mean, not a lot?" Bean says. "I'm a shift manager at Wendy's. We've been… living. And pointlessly mourning you, I guess."
"We hang out with Jim every Thursday and Saturday," Chloe chimes in. "And Bean likes to visit him at his job sometimes. They totally have a crush on him, and it's adorable."
"Uugh," Bean groans. "I can't help it! He's like cotton candy in the shape of a man! He wants to be a veterinarian so he can pet more kittens!"
"Aww," I coo supportively. "I haven't really talked to him much, but I know Eliza always speaks highly of her brother."
"Spoke highly," Bean corrects with a scowl.
"Right. Sorry," I confirm. She's dead. She's dead, and I couldn't do anything about it. Aaaaaagh.
I suppose it… is healthy for me to actually feel this pain and guilt. I'm not dangerously low on energy anymore, so it's difficult to justify burning any more than I have to. And I guess I need to, because it's just not settling in yet. Eight months. Eliza and I have been mourned for long enough to be well over the worst of it. Castalia too, I guess, even though she was never out of commission in the first place.
"This is so surreal," I say.
"Well I'm sitting next to a talking robot, so how do you think I feel?" Bean snaps.
"I really am sorry," I assure them, and despite the pain, I make sure I can actually feel it enough to be genuine. "I know this must be hard. I'd go crazy if I was without you for months, but during all those absences I wasn't really aware. It doesn't feel like I've had time to miss you that much. But you… I left you. Twice. I don't know how I can ever make it up to you."
Bean sighs.
"I don't know either," they say. "I know, intellectually, that you shouldn't have to. If you're telling the truth, then none of it was your fault. Hell, you've had an even worse time than I have. But… you know me. This is all it really takes for me to have a hard time trusting someone again."
"I've done my best to not lie to you," I say. And maybe this wouldn't have happened if I did bite the bullet and lie to my best friend as much as possible. Maybe I could have kept them off the scent.
"Yeah," Bean says. "I know."
There's another long silence, and this time I opt not to try filling it. Everyone needs a moment to process, I think. So I stay still, offering my companionship as complicated emotions blow through the air around me, each person grappling with their own. And as I somewhat expected, it's Bean that ends up eventually breaking the silence.
"Can you promise me that you'll never do this again?" Bean asks. "That you're not going to vanish? That you're not going to leave?"
No. Not really.
"Yes," I say, because we both know that. We both know this could happen again. The promise isn't really about predicting the future. It's just about affirming, without hesitation, that we're more important to each other than anything else. "If it is within my power, I will never leave you in the dark again, Bean. And I duked it out with Castalia."
"And lost," Bean smirks.
"Yeah, well, you'd lose a footrace against Usain Bolt, but I'd still think it was impressive if you offered a challenge," I counter.
"I almost lost," Castalia says. "I almost died."
All three of us turn to look at her. I mean, I know I felt like I had her on the ropes, but… still. Hearing her say that is terrifying. I guess she did just duel Melpomene and have her stone broken, though. Extenuating circumstances, right?
"Well, um, we're all very glad you didn't!" Chloe says.
"Yes," Castalia nods. "Me too."
"Say, if you've been mostly fine this whole time, how come you never reached out?" Bean asks her.
"Oh. I… am bad at that," Castalia says.
"You're 'bad at that,'" Bean repeats. "You let us think you were dead this entire time because you're bad at reaching out."
Castalia hesitates for a moment.
"…Yes," she answers simply.
Bean sighs, turns to me, and places a hand on my shoulder, carefully keeping their fingers away from the joints.
"Alright. Your crush makes sense now. You two are perfect for each other," they say flatly.
"Hey!" I protest as Castalia's cheeks tint slightly red.
"Hey, Chloe! Did your friends come over?" a man's voice calls out, shortly after accompanied by the man himself and his dog. He has a prosthetic leg. War veteran, maybe? "Woah, is that a robot?"
Well, Chloe did say her dad was home.
"Hi, Mr. McNeal," I wave at him. "I am indeed a robot."
"Huh," he says. "Wasn't there an evil robot running around last year, or something?"
"Yeah, that was me," I confirm.
"Oh," he says. "Well, don't blow up my house."
"Can-do, Mr. McNeal," I nod, and he gives me a quick salute before shuffling out of the room. We all watch him leave, and then Chloe claps her hands once to get our attention.
"So!" she says. "We just found out that two of our dead friends are alive! I think that deserves a party. Who wants to throw a party?"
"How drunk will I be allowed to get at this party?" Bean asks.
"Two beers max!" Chloe answers chipperly.
"So not at all. Ugh," Bean groans. "Fine, whatever."
"Show me some party spirit, Bean!" Chloe says, standing up and doing a couple terrible dance moves. "Hoo-ha! Let me see what I've got in the kitchen! Wanna help me prepare some food, Luna?"
Chloe is, of course, nowhere near as happy and upbeat as she's pretending to be. I respect it, though. The three of us will wallow in depression all day if she doesn't do anything about it. I should be stepping it up, really.
"Sure," I confirm. "Maybe we can put on a good horror movie later."
"I was thinking a Disney movie!" Chloe says, her fake smile growing wider.
"Of course you were," I say, shoving her lightly as I get up to follow.
It sucks a little to have my reunion with my friends be this much of a mess. It was always going to be painful, though. After everything I've done (and everything Castalia didn't do), there was no way this wasn't going to leave scars. But still… I'm here. I'm here with them, and they know what I am, and they're okay.
There's going to be a future for us. And compared to the last time I was awake, that feels like a lot.