Chapter 74: I can’t be a bystander anymore.
I leaned back on the bench and thought about how complicated my life was now, because while it was fun sometimes, it also felt like I was about to be swallowed whole.
I know I know, it’s boring to think about my life this much, its almost crazy in a way but, I can’t help it, I cam a long long way.
So yeah, that’s my life now.
A few weeks ago, the most exciting part of my day was finding an extra flavor packet in my instant noodles, and now I’m the commander of a failed romance mission, the reluctant hero in a sad girl’s backstory, and a guy who has a girl who is a ’pillar’ in my life. It’s a lot.
My life went from a boring, black-and-white manga about nothing to a full-color, multi-genre mess, and I’m just trying to keep up.
Sitting here on this park bench, watching these kids fail at flying a kite, it’s the first second of quiet I’ve had all day. It gives me a chance to think about how I’m not really that overthinking loner anymore, and it’s weird.
I talk to people now. I talked to the old lady, I talked to the cashier at the grocery store, and I even have text conversations that last longer than two messages.
’Who am I even becoming?’
It’s not a bad thing, I guess, just... different. Every day used to be a copy of the one before, but now I wake up and I have no idea what’s going to happen. Maybe Nina will tease me about my hair, maybe Jake will have a new crisis about talking to Ruby, maybe I’ll end up in detention for being a good person.
It’s exhausting, but it’s not boring.
I’ll take it.