Chapter 12: After School
After I said all that, she just sat there for a second. She did not say anything, but her face completely changed. The small bit of happiness she had from the sandwich was gone. She looked like I had just told her some terrible news. ’Was I too harsh?’ I wondered. ’Maybe I should have said it a different way.’
She opened her mouth like she was going to argue with me, but then she stopped. She took a quick look around the classroom, and I could tell she remembered that everyone was watching us. She probably did not want to have a big emotional conversation in front of the whole class. I didn’t blame her for that.
She leaned in a little closer, and her voice was quiet when she spoke. "Kofi, can we please talk about this later?" she asked. "After school? We don’t have to talk about it here."
I just shook my head. ’No, I can’t do that,’ I thought. ’I just made my decision. If we talk later, it will just make things harder.’
"There is nothing to talk about," I told her, trying to keep my voice steady. "I already said everything. It is better if we just leave it like this."
The look on her face got even worse then. She looked genuinely hurt, and I felt like a real jerk.
"Please," she said, and her voice was a little shaky now. "Just give me five minutes. I just need to say something to you. Please."
’Damn it,’ I thought. I looked at her, and I knew I could not say no again. I had never had anyone look at me like that before, like what I did really mattered to them. Making her look so sad felt awful, and I hated being the reason for it. I let out a long breath that I did not realize I was holding.
"Okay," I muttered, not looking at her. "Fine. After school."
I saw her shoulders relax like she had been holding her breath too. "Thank you," she said, and she managed a small smile. She stood up from the chair, still holding the container with the sandwich I made. "And thank you for this, really."
She turned and walked back to her desk. I felt like a complete hypocrite. I just spent five minutes telling her to leave me alone, and then I agreed to meet her later. The whole class was still looking at me, and I felt their eyes on my back. I just wanted to disappear.
The second she sat down in her own seat, I felt this sudden, sharp pain in my chest. It was not my ribs; I knew what that felt like. This was a deep, aching kind of pain that made it hard to breathe for a second. I instinctively put my hand over my heart.