1172. Pre-Surgery
Stella didn’t know what the color black was.
Her entire life had been nothing but darkness.
Yet she didn’t know what darkness meant.
Darkness was the absence of light to those with vision.
Darkness was isolation to those who were alone.
Darkness became the rot that sept into the heart of those who despaired.
But Stella had never experienced what the absence of light was. She was never lonely because she always had people by her side. Most notably, Stella had never experienced despair.
Even when she lost her friends to the Corruption, there was a tiny spark of hope in her heart that believed they would return to her side.
That spark was a tether to those she lost. To this day, whenever Stella laid flat on her back, she would feel their presence by her side. They would talk about the lone star that sat atop of their dark sky, and nonsensical stories of a world where thousands more existed.
It never occurred to her that there was such a world where countless stars were waiting. She never knew she was born in the Derma Layer, let alone knew what the Derma Layer was. Her world was limited to whatever she could grasp and hear. Her sight never allowed her to see the shape of the world past her fingertips.
Still, people clasped onto her hand to guide her when she was young. Then, when people lost their way, Stella became their guide. Her one wish was to become a star.
There wasn’t a day since arriving at the Epiderma Layer where Stella didn’t smile. Her days were filled with love, friends, and normality that she never experienced in the Triple Paw Complex.
Stella hugged her knees as she thought about this.
She was seated in the middle of a bed, which was inside of a sterile room. Hooked to her forearm was a catheter that supplied her with saline.
She knew what was coming. Stella was made to sign various consent forms before the procedure could commence, so there was no way she couldn’t know what the operation was for.
Heat suddenly entered the room. A presence that had been sitting by her side for the last two hours squeezed her hand. This person was Aster, and the person who entered was…
“Mn. Stella. Are you ready?”
She still sounds like she’s angry.
The thought came to Stella’s mind as she silently giggled to herself. Ignis was one of the first people who helped her alongside Frost. To this day Ignis’ voice had not changed the slightest, unlike the triplet’s whose voices became considerably less squeaky since their transformations.
“I am…”
“You won’t feel a thing.” Ignis assured. “Aster will be allowed to sit with you throughout the procedure.”
“I’ll be right here, don’t you worry Stella.”
“… Will I feel anything?”
There was a soft sound that reminded Stella of someone running a hand through a bristly brush. This came from Ignis’ direction. She was likely shaking her head. Stella couldn’t tell exactly since she couldn’t see, but she assumed that this was the case.
“Mn. No. You’ll be put under anesthetic.” Tapping sounds were made against a glass vial as Ignis explained the procedure in detail. She went through enormous lengths to assure Stella that it was safe but also expressed that there was no such thing as a guarantee.
Ignis didn’t treat her like a child. They had both preserved through tribulations that no child should ever have to endure. The least Ignis could do was be transparent to a child whose life revolved around speculation of what existed beyond her fingertips.
It made her happy that even though she couldn’t see, they were still treating her like she could. School was not kind to Stella. There have been several incidents since joining the Academy where she was mistreated because of her condition.
Stolen lunch. A missing bag. Horrific stickers left on her back. A leg set out to trip her. Sometimes, she would wonder why her food tasted suddenly spicy or sour.
Those rarely affected her. Worse had been eaten in the Derma Layer.
Besides, her home in the Nexus provided her with enough love to offset it.
But it did make her wonder what gave people in this peaceful world the luxury to hurt others, when in the Derma Layer – with people who had to discard their organs for food – showered her with love.
Thankfully, it died down ever since a Star and a Moon visited the Academy for the first time since its founding. No one knew what Stella’s connections were since she expressed the desire to live a normal life outside of the Nexus, but there were rumors that she was connected to the Nexus.
Which of course, was true…
… and she still couldn’t believe that it was.
Why me? What did I do to deserve this? What about the people that helped me? I just did what I had to in order to survive.
The thoughts commonly plagued her mind whenever she tried to comprehend the reason why she was brought out of the Derma Layer.
What compelled Frost to help her? The people of the Derma Layer?
There were a million answers. Frost would likely dismiss it with a smile, pat her head, or ask her why she wouldn’t save them. Such was the type of person Frost was. The people she surrounded herself with weren’t that different from her.
“The procedure shouldn’t take more than an hour. The symbiote needs an adaptation period. Don’t want to shock your body. Mn. With an organ as complex as the eye, there is also a neurological adaptation that needs to take place. People are not machines.”
“Can’t just… um… slap organs together, can we?” Stella awkwardly smiled.
“Unless you’re an Impuritas. Which you are not.” Ignis patted her head. “Relax. Frost entrusted me with this mission.”
“She did? I mean… that’s expected… aha…”
There was a light pause from Ignis. She wanted to say something else, but refrained, as if those words were not meant for her to speak. After a short pause she felt the presence of another person enter the room.
She didn’t need eyes to know who this was. A warm, fuzzy feeling filled her chest. Despite Ignis’ warnings about the worst possible case scenario, Stella knew that so long as this person was here, then the risk may as well be nonexistent.
“When do we start?” Stella asked, lightly squeezing Aster’s hand in return.
“Right now. I’ll perform the operation here. Is there anything else you need? Any more questions?”
“I’m… I’m ready.”
Darkness clouded her vision. Or was it darkness? Stella had only heard the term. She didn’t know if she was falling unconscious or not. Everything was always the same universal shade of void, whether she was awake, falling asleep, in pain, happy… sad.
Sensation left her, and she was suspended in a world where nothing existed.
It never occurred to her before…
… but not being able to see the faces of her friends had caused her to feel lonely. She had always wondered what the strange void in her chest was whenever she heard the others playing a game that she could not participate in.
Stella’s hands often traced the faces of those close to her. Unbeknownst to her, her fingers traced along the linen beneath her, sketching the faces of the people closest to her… and the people she lost.
So, she made a wish moments before her thoughts faded.
I wish I could see them one last time.