Chapter 164: Ocean
Emily Molson was not one to run from anything. That much she knew about herself. It was a truth that she was sure of. She had faced down a mob of angry protesters. People who could have very easily killed her in the heat of the moment. But she had stood her ground in front of them, not trying to escape.
She even stood her ground against scumbags like Sebastian Haven on a regular basis. And in all of those times, Emily had never run. In fact, running had been the furthest thing from her mind. That was just what she did in situations that were scary. When push came to shove. Emily pushed back, kicked, and clawed too if she had to, in order to face a situation.
But in that moment, Emily did not feel anything at all like the fierce woman that she knew herself to be. Going over to Derek’s place was scary, not because she felt uncomfortable around him, or felt as though she were walking into some sort of trap where she would be attacked.
It was quite the opposite actually. After years of suffering and enduring, Emily was now headed towards something that could be useful. Something that could cure her. Something that could take away all of her sleeping problems. Something that could leave her as someone able to sleep through the night without a nightmare.
And Emily was terrified. She’d heard of people who went back to abusive relationships over and over again. And if they happened to find themselves in a relationship where things were going good, then they made sure to either mess it up, or to leave as quickly as possible.
Emily had often wondered why people like that did things that way. But now she understood it. The body was a strange thing. If pain and discomfort were applied consistently, at some point, people got used to being uncomfortable. And once the source of the discomfort was gone, adjusting was very, very difficult. And that was where most people failed.
Those who could not adjust, who could not accept that something had been wrong and that now it had been fixed, often suffered the most. Those were the people who often went back to abusive relationships. Those were the people who, after kicking one bad habit, often jumped into the next.
People who went from being overweight, lost the weight, and then found a new drug to fill them. Moving to alcohol or drugs, or some other toxic habit. Emily had seen that before, but she had never realized that it could apply to her, when it came to her sleeping problem.But now she realized that it very much did.
In sleeping with Derek, there was a huge chance that she would never have to worry about having nightmares again. And that scared her. She had been having nightmares for over half her life. Without them, who was she?
That was the question that had Emily clinging to the strap of her bag as she sat in the back of the car. The driver weaving them through traffic and getting her closer and closer to Derek’s penthouse. ’Go in there and find out.’ Some deep part of her whispered, and Emily clung to the quiet confidence in the voice. Yes, this was what this was all about. She was going to reclaim herself to find out who she could have been had things turned out differently, and she had lived a life where she did not suffer from nightmares.