Chapter 69: No Closure
Now that she had acknowledged that there was a very high possibility that the reason her nightmares had stopped for that one night, was most likely because she had been sleeping with her boss. Emily should have been feeling better. She should have at least been feeling some sort of closure.
She had found a possible solution and had also come to terms with the fact that she could not have that solution. It was so close, and yet so far away...simple.
In reality, there was no such thing.
On Monday morning, after accepting that she could not ask such a personal favor from her boss, Emily had walked into work bright and early, feeling determined. She could do this, all she had to do was find something else that made her sleep and then she would be set. There would be no need to risk her job by asking him such a personal thing.
The feeling of having it all under control crashed and died a horrible death the moment that Derek had walked into the office, and as the week progressed, it continued to die in various horrifying ways.
"Good morning, Emily, did you have a lovely weekend?" He had said on Monday.
"Yes, I did. I hope that you did too," She had told him, as professional as ever. But her internal conversation had been going in a totally different way.
’It would have been better, if I’d had a man like you sleeping next to me,’ Her inner self had said, and Emily had barely fought back the urge to start blushing.
On Tuesday, he had called her into his office. The two of them discussing his schedule, moving things around, adding some, and removing others where necessary. A normal thing that they did on a regular basis. But that particular meeting had been hell for Emily, every time Derek had leaned in, his cologne enveloping her, she had wanted to follow him back when he retreated.
"Cuddle me, Derek! Cuddle me, right here. Just for a little while. I need a nap so bad," She had imagined herself saying.
On Wednesday she had caught herself staring at his chest, wondering what it would feel like to use it as a pillow. Would it be that same welcoming firmness that she vaguely remembered(Curse her sleep addled brain! How could she have missed out on such an important detail!). Or would she discover new soft areas that she could sink into and sleep for hours? When she had been caught staring, she had let her hair down, pretending like that was what she had been focused on.
On Thursday, she bumped into his back by mistake. Rather than move away instantly, she instead stole a moment. She closed her eyes for a second and tried to see if she could fall asleep while standing. She could not, and she moved away with a great sense of shame.