Chapter 21: Fading
Emily did not like taking sleeping pills. When she was not on them and someone asked. She could simply say she did not like the way that they made her feel. But now that she was back on them. She knew that the person who she was when she was not on the pills, was severely understating the effects the pills had on her.
When she took them, Emily did not sleep, she faded. Hands, knees, elbows, nose, heart, lungs...every single piece of her just went away bit by bit until there was nothing left.
Then in the morning when she woke up, it all came back, but not really. It felt like she spent the whole day trying to rrbuild herself and then just when all the puzzle pieces were almost back together again it was night time. And night time meant that she had to take the pills again and undo all of her progress, leaving her back where she had started...faded.
And so the cycle continued. She spent the day learning how to be human again. How to laugh, how to smile, to cry, to feel. Then at night, the pills took it all away. She was the humpty-dumpty of sleep.
But she was getting sleep.
The one reason that she had begun taking the pills in the first place.
The grass is always greener on the other side. She kept reminding herself every time she wanted to quit. Taking the pills had drawbacks( so many drawbacks). But ever since she had begun taking them she slept each night. That was a good thing.