Contract Marriage: I Will Never Love You

Sarah

I stab my fork into a piece of roasted potato, looking at him from under my eyelashes.

I won’t beg him to be there for his own child. If he wants to keep pushing me away, let him. I’ve spent too much time tiptoeing around his moods, too much time pretending that his words don’t cut deeper than they should. But I am not alone anymore. I am going to have a baby, and I want to be stronger.

I take a slow bite, forcing myself to chew and swallow before speaking again. "Josh has always been kind to me." I keep my tone light, casual, as if I don’t notice the way Matthew’s grip tightens around his fork. "And he doesn’t seem to mind stepping up when someone else won’t."

Matthew exhales sharply, his gaze darkening. "If you think I’m going to sit here and listen to you talk about another man, you’re sorely mistaken."

I tilt my head, feigning innocence. "Why not? You were the one who suggested I ask someone else."

His lips press into a thin line. He’s angry now, and I should stop, but something inside me won’t let me. Maybe it’s the exhaustion, maybe it’s the months of being pushed aside, or maybe I just want to see if there’s still a part of him that gives a damn.

I set my fork down carefully. "I don’t need you to be there, Matthew," I say quietly, my voice steady. "I wanted you to be. There’s a difference."

The silence that follows feels like a physical presence between us. Matthew’s jaw flexes as he sets down his own fork loudly.

"Josh," he spits the name like it’s poison on his tongue. "He showed up at a very convenient time, didn’t he?" His laugh is hollow, scraping against the silence.

I feel heat crawl up my neck, spreading across my cheeks.