Chapter 124: Can I See Her
The study was plunged into silence. Neither man spoke for a long time. Anthony sat frozen, as if time itself had stopped for him. His hands trembled, his throat was dry, and tears streamed down his cheeks in quiet, steady lines. He was experiencing a storm of emotions... grief, disbelief, guilt, and a faint, dangerous flicker of hope.
For years, Anthony had lived with the unbearable guilt that his father had killed Joan because of him. He had never forgiven himself for loving her so openly, so passionately, in a world that devoured vulnerabilities and punished emotions. Deep down, he believed that if he hadn’t loved Joan, she might have lived. That if he hadn’t defied his father, she might not have become a target.
After Joan’s supposed death, he had been inconsolable. He accused his father directly... fury exploding out of him like lava. His father denied everything, of course. But Anthony hadn’t believed a word. He couldn’t believe. Not after losing the love of his life.
And then came another nightmare. His father tried to arrange a political marriage for him with the daughter of another influential minister. Anthony, bitter and still in mourning, secretly sought out the young woman, hoping she would reject the alliance once she knew of his past love. But what he found broke him further.
The woman... his future wife... was even more pitiful than he was. She was battling an untreatable form of cancer, and the doctors had already given her only a few years to live. Yet her own family, hungry for status and alliances, suppressed her medical condition and tried to marry her off as if she were healthy.
Anthony wasn’t the only name on their list of suitors. If he refused, they would move on to the next nobleman. Knowing that Joan was gone and not wanting the young woman to suffer more indignity, Anthony agreed to marry her. It was a marriage in name only, for appearances. They had both agreed to that. They never shared a bed, only a mutual respect for each other’s pain.
The cancer worsened, and she passed away just a few years later. By then, Anthony had cut off all ties with his father. He had refused to remarry, and his steadfast loyalty to his deceased wife earned him a strange respect in his in-laws’ eyes. They had seen how he stayed with her during her final days in the hospital, comforting her, tending to her like a devoted husband. Moved by his dedication, they had tried to match him with younger girls from their extended family... but Anthony refused them all. He remained a widower.
Now, all those painful years came flooding back in a rush... memories that scraped at his soul like shards of glass.