The Calamitous Bob

Gale flapped his wings in an attempt at intimidation, standing briefly on his hind legs as he did so. Viv had to admit he was pretty big. For a whelp. She put her fists against her hips to give him her best ‘parent about to explode’ impression. Something emerged from her soul, and Gale took a few steps back. He looked sullen.

I just don’t see why you have a right to tell us how to fly!

You don’t even have wings!

It’s stupid!

“Young man, we’re going to fly in formation, just the way I suggested, for exactly four reasons. One, you know how to hunt, but I know how to wage war. This is the sort of solution my people came up with and it’s the one we’re going to try..”

Earthlings could fly?

“We fly with machines. The pilots of small agile machines would use these strategies against larger, slower ones. Two, only I can stop the black mana pulse defense used by the golem long enough for you to not die, and then only for a moment, so it’s going to be a hit and run. Three, and more importantly, Judgment gave you to me to lead for a battle and by all the gods, if you don’t listen, he’ll grab you with one hand and fold you like a fucking napkin.”

Gale suddenly looked very dejected.

“And four and unless you’ve forgotten, I don’t need to wait for Judgment to fold you like a napkin in front of all these mortals. Are we perfectly clear?”

Yes yes…

We will try your solution.

Hmph!

Viv sighed. It was like herding a herd of three cats except one was decent, one was a teenager with an ego and the other was the uncle who’d stopped giving a shit five years before and was now completely feral. At least Meadow could focus most of the time.

“We will resume practice now.”

Can’t we have a nap first?

“The undead horde is walking towards us at a ceaseless pace so if you don’t mind, I’d like to get ‘that’ out of the way before we get to relax.”

Viv climbed on top of Arthur who grumbled out of habit. She was keeping an eye on the Children of the Scales maneuvering on the hellish checkerboard the valley had been turned into. Jaratalassi and Sahin bickered on a distant hill as they oversaw the last preparations. There were a lot of ‘ifs’ people depended upon for this battle not to end in a massacre. The largest ‘if’ being the empress managing to break the influence of the golem so that they’d ‘only’ be facing an uncountably large undead horde rather than one which was also guided by some base level of intelligence; but hey, no pressure.

Viv sighed. It was going to be a close call with no options for a redo, therefore she absolutely needed to prepare as well as possible. No naps. Far above, Meadow practiced climbing and diving while carrying heavy stuff.

“To the skies!” she told Arthur, and they took off.

Practice took most of the morning, but by the end she felt she was ready. As she returned to the palace to announce their departure, she was intercepted by Lak-Tak. For the first time ever, he looked sheepish.

“Everything alright?” she asked him.

“Not enough shells.”

His ears drooped, weighted by shame.

“We do not have enough shells,” he repeated. “Or fuel.”

Aaaah so that was what it was about. She patted his broad shoulders.

“Listen, sir Lak-Tak. The sad truth is that there are never enough shells. Ever.”

He frowned. It was as if she’d insulted him.

“I’m serious. Even if you were to somehow increase the production, there’s still the logistical nightmare of bringing all those shells to the front.”

“You. Have portals.”

“Yeah and people still need to carry the shells from storage to the portals and then from there to the guns. We’d need trains, pallets, all the sort of things we don’t have the industry for just yet. I mean, I think? And then even if by some miracle you have an endless supply of shells, then it’s the barrels that go bad. All I’m saying is that you don’t need to feel guilty about not having enough shells because it’s an impossible task. People back on my home planet have been improving logistics non stop for centuries now, and for good reasons. It’s that important. As a man named Pershing once said, a good army wins battles, logistics wins wars.”

“What’s a train?”

Viv suddenly had the feeling she’d parked her ass in a bear trap.

“Uh, it’s hmmm, you know how we have rails in the mines? Same thing but much larger and you put a machine on the rails that drags wagons behind it, and also you put rails everywhere, including to major portal sites.”

It looked like Ser Warcrime was orgasming.

“Draw it,” he demanded in a breathy voice.

“Ok… so it looks a bit like this though obviously we could make it mana-powered at first. I need to tell you that the trains themselves are only part of the challenge. For the system to be efficient, you need those running regularly every day at a strict schedule in a very controlled and predictable manner, monitored by a system of beacons and signals. It’s obviously very difficult to set up and organize because of the many rules and measures required for safe and reliable operation, but it’s at least very logic— AH!”

Viv jumped when a heavy hand settled on her shoulder with a tight grip. Fuck! It was Irao. Truly, one of the few entities alongside Solfis and perhaps Arthur who could reasonably kill her. His mask showed an expression of curiosity that made his grip all the more stressful.

“What?” she asked.

He normally hated physical contact. Right now though, the hadal’s attention was focused on the train plan and basic schedule Viv had drawn on the earth with a rare intensity that bordered on mania.

“How soon?” he hissed.

“What?”

“How soon can you make trains?”

“I, errr.”

Lak-Tak screeched something to Irao, who replied with hand signals Viv didn’t recognize. This went on for a little while.

“I see you two appear really involved in this thing so I’ll, uh, leave you to it. Goodbye.”

Viv continued to the “Foolcatcher Garden”, the specific spot below the throne room’s windows where the defenestrated people ended up. Most of it was made of fluffy bushes resilient enough to catch an adult body — she didn’t want people to break their necks by accident.

If she were to break someone’s neck it would have to be deliberate.

Lady Azar was there, entertaining guests and envoys including that prick Baranese who had at last shut up now that the threat of draconic incineration had been made clear. Viv was sort of miffed it had taken her daughter’s threat to make him shut the fuck up. Hadn’t Viv herself murdered Tarano during a ‘truce talk’? Wasn’t she a proven lunatic herself? There was the problem with going legal: people thought you retired as a hellion. Like she was going to stick to the rules at all times. Crazy.

“Your Majesty,” Lady Azar said. “It appears your witchpact regiments are taking bets on who will be the first to earn a necrarch face tattoo.”

Ah yes, the southern custom introduced by spear maiden Koro. Although she had kids now so maybe she was a spear mommy? Anyway. The witchpact had the right to wear makeup depicting the strongest foe they’d ever slain. The more dangerous ones had undead bear or gut spiller symbols Koro had made on the spot. No one had a necrarch mark yet. Surely they wouldn’t try?

Ah, who was she kidding? Of course some of them would go for it.

“Well, have the blessed quarrels been completed yet?” she asked.

“Your priests are praying over the last barrels as we speak.”

“Well, then, at least it’s possible. I hope it doesn’t come to that though. I’m here to tell you that I will be leaving now.”

“After lunch, surely?” Lady Azar insisted.

Well, it might be her last.

“Fair enough.”

***

Viv and the three dragons flew north. They crossed over the blighted land at a sedate pace, conserving their strength for the battle to come. Viv kept looking ahead with apprehension until, after a couple hours only, they found the squirming mass of revenants. As before, they covered the land for leagues, more a natural disaster than an army.

“They’ve accelerated,” Viv said.

All our outposts are empty.

Maybe they found out and stopped searching for them.

“Undead don’t have a strategy, or so I thought. Well, whatever, we’ll see if our theories were correct soon enough.”

They climbed immediately without approaching the horde, again, at a sedate pace to save strength. Viv had to rein the two young dragons twice because they were boiling with energy. Once they pierced the cloud veil, it was easy enough to spot the dragon golem circling in the distance alongside its reanimated escort. Meadow growled so loudly, Viv heard it over the howl of the wind.

“Stick to the plan, big guy. Patience.”

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I know.

They kept climbing, higher and higher, until the three of them could see the massive undead as little more than toys on a background of everlasting dark clouds. It was high enough. Viv focused her mind. Speaking to dragons with images always taxed her mind, but it was easier with all that wind.

We dive!

Arthur and Gale plunged with a roar while a surly Meadow stayed with the payload. With the help of gray mana, the dragons picked up speed. They approached the loose undead formation from behind. It didn’t seem like there were any reactions. Still, the dragons accelerated until the wind blasted Viv’s hair back and she had to use a shield just to protect her face. She sent the vision of two isolated reanimated dragons at the edge of the formation. As they closed in, she activated a massive shield that absorbed black mana, yet still allowed everything else to go through.

[Aspect of the Guardian]

Despite her skills, it was extremely difficult to keep such a complicated construct active but it proved necessary. The ambient mana around the golem was staggeringly powerful to the extent it even ate through her spell. Arthur’s voice pierced through Viv’s mind.

NOW!

The dragons breathed fire while banking sharply. The hot magical breaths covered the two shapes like napalm blankets. By the time the magical fire engulfed the two fliers, Viv and the others had already disappeared under the cloud cover. Their trajectory curved up again. All three looked back at the same time.

A powerful pulse of black mana smothered the devouring blaze, but it was too little too late. Dragon fire was endlessly hungry and by the time the flames dimmed, the constructs were already falling to pieces. It wasn’t long before they crumbled apart. No amount of black mana could animate ash.

“Two gone, four to go,” Viv remarked.

Gale flapped his wings with obvious excitement.

It worked!

We got them good!

His sister rolled her eyes so hard she was probably looking at her own brain.

I told you.

You have to use your head!

Not as a battering ram, mind you.

“USURPER.”

The voice cracked through the wind. It was immensely loud, and coming from the titanic golem still slowly flying in a circle over the presumed horde. The voice was female, a deep alto, and she was definitely speaking in Harrakan with an accent Viv’s borrowed knowledge vaguely recognized as northern. The knowledge burrowed itself in her mind with the promise of a bad surprise.

“Usurper,” the voice said in Viv’s mind. “Thief of legacy. Prove yourself or fall.”

“Who the fuck are you?”

“We shall take your measure. Are you who you claim to be? I beheld your appearance and found no evidence of imperial blood. You are a foreigner. You will face judgment for this.”

The voice ignored her question. By Viv’s sides, the dragons grew agitated. Arthur’s head swiveled left and right.

It is speaking through the air.

Very powerful.

Mother, what should we do?

“It can speak all it wants. We climb again, and then we repeat the same maneuver.”

The two dragons obeyed with surprising discipline. They both had one more breath in them, though they’d need a moment to recover. The third would take a lot more time but that was fine. Viv was more than willing to sacrifice time hanging around if it meant a costless victory. From far above, Viv could see the golem’s baleful eye tracking her progress. The animated skeletons flew closer to the massive construct’s hulking shape, presumably for protection. Arthur’s mind voice trilled with concern.

Mother, they are huddling for protection!

That was not what we expected.

“Yeah because it’s fucking stupid. Now we can spray two for the price of one and hopefully nick the golem as well.”

Gale roared.

They cannot match our intellect!

It took a lot of self-control not to comment on that. Suddenly, a dark shape emerged from the cloud cover underneath at a brisk speed. It immediately rushed towards the golem. Viv blinked. It was another dragon, this one black and slightly smaller than Meadow. Her deep voice brushed Viv’s own, through it felt muted.

Finally, I find you, you cur!

Behold the Wrath of Fire!

You lot, what are you waiting for? Attack!

Under the Harrakan group’s speechless gaze, the large dragoness torched one of the skeletons, then fell upon it as it was already disintegrating. A pulse of black mana hit her straight on which forced her to disengage with a squawk of pain back under the cloud cover from under which she did not emerge again.

All of this had taken around eight seconds.

“Hmmm. Thanks for the assist? I guess?” Viv hazarded.

That was stupid. Gale thought.

That was your entire plan, you dimwit! Arthur thought back.

What would you do without Mother and I guiding your wings?

“Alright, at least she took down one of them. That leaves us with three. Meadow, are you ok?”

Impatient.

“Just one more run and you’re good. Let’s wait first.”

And they did. The undead made no effort to chase after them. Instead, they circled over what Viv suspected was the tornado of undead birds without stopping. The only constant was the golem’s gaze following her with unyielding intensity. Ten minutes later, Arthur confirmed she had recovered enough for one last blast.

“Alright. For victory!”

The young dragons roared with excitement. They might like to fight but they liked winning even more, and Viv’s approach was bearing fruits. The wind howled in Viv’s ears as they flew ever faster. The timing would be tight again but the dragons knew their flying.

“You are cunning,” the Harrakan female voice howled over the powerful wind. “And strong.”

It was spoken with a cold detachment, like a scientist making notes after a successful experiment. The lack of any sort of emotions rang alarm bells in Viv’s mind. Was this the golem speaking or someone else? Golems never commented out loud unless they meant to be heard, because it was an inefficient use of resources. It was growing more and more likely that the golem was not just a relay for orders, it was also being remotely commanded.

That or the golem had a pilot but that felt very unlikely. Viv had seen nothing that resembled a cockpit.

As they approached, the escort animated dragons opened their skeletal mouths. Viv immediately cast her shield, then reinforced it with [Aspect of the Guardian]. Arthur hesitated.

“I got it! I got it!”

Rays of concentrated black mana hit her full on, then more joined it as they made their final approach. Viv grit her teeth. The pressure was monstrous. Where was the golem getting all this power? Despite the onslaught, the pair spat their flames at the huddled form, hitting all three reanimated dragons plus the golem in a torrent of fire. Powerful blasts of black mana immediately dimmed the blaze. The effect was even stronger near the golem. Again, point blank dragon fire was still strong enough to bypass those defenses. One of the dragons fell apart as the attackers emerged again from the cloud cover. Arthur huffed in annoyance.

The fire on the golem is already extinguished!

How?

A second dragon collapsed a minute later, but it looked like that would be it.

“I think Meadow might want to get rid of the last one in person. We should be good to go for payload delivery.”

Why are you talking all weird?

“Sorry, habits from my previous life. We’ve been careful enough, now it’s time to finish this.”

The two young dragons climbed again with renewed enthusiasm. Meadow was more than happy to finally get a move on. Viv judged he must be much more resistant to black mana on account of his size and because old dragons just felt stronger in general. He would still be vulnerable to the black mana pulse if the fate of the aggressive lady was any indication, so she would have to go with him.

“Are you ready?” she asked.

You are like a swarm of mosquitoes when I am trying to sleep.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Let’s go!”

They dove again. Viv expected some sort of reaction from the golem but perhaps it hadn’t been built for aerial maneuvering. Still, its glowing eyes followed them as they approached. Runes glowed alongside the skeletal wings while ethereal winds kept ghostly membranes afloat. The lone surviving skeleton flew near its master, a daunting defense made useless by borrowed Earth tactics. This was it. Viv hoped Meadow wouldn’t miss.

Feel the wrath of She-Who-Feasts-on-Many-And-Collects-Much!

Viv weaved her shield, keeping an eye on the golem as it slowly turned over the horde. The good thing was it wouldn’t be dodging anything. She put some extra power into it, just to be sure. Mana was gathering inside of the massive construct. Arthur and Gale happily screeched on their way down, going faster than they should even though they were here as a decoy. Viv could feel Meadow’s presence lag behind her like a weight on her neck. The larger dragon was so focused, she could feel it.

Something flared inside of the golem’s ribcage only a few seconds before impact. Viv’s eyes widened. Her instincts screamed in alarm. The energy didn’t taste like black mana. It was… transparent mana.

She spotted a glyph repeating across the golem’s surface. She used the same for kinetic blasts.

“FUCK!”

Mother?

Viv switched her shield at the last moment, going for force instead. She only had a few instants. The shield crumbled. The shield reformed.

[Aspect of the Guardian!]

Shock.