Chapter 418: Proof of Existence (6)
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To my beloved Ian Percus
Summer is fading and autumn is approaching. Before I knew it, cold rain now falls at night, and the softened sunlight has become a welcome presence. How are things over there, Ian? I wonder if you can hear this rainfall soaking the moon as I do.
Night, rain and alcohol.
It’s a perfect day to reminisce about the past. Some might criticize a priest for drinking, but as that day approaches again, it’s hard to wash away the bitterness in my heart. You’d get it, right?
Unlike today, it was a bright and sunny day—the day we set off together for the Holy Nation, remember?
I still recall my heart swelling as if going on a picnic. It was my first time visiting my hometown with you. For everyone, one’s homeland holds a special meaning and love makes you want to share it all. I thought I could proudly face even the childhood I buried long ago if I was with you.
It was nothing short of a confession. Perhaps I wanted to repent for that little girl, with too many tears and grudges, whom I had deliberately been turning away from.
Who would’ve thought? My real sin... was something else entirely.
Even the Lord once said that the more we hate another, the more we come to hate ourselves. As resentment deepens, our hearts only grow more anguished and tormented.
I think that the emotion of ‘doubt’ is similar.