Chapter 70
[SAMANTHA’s Point of View]
“Goddess, it’s awful,” I murmured to myself in frustration and self-disappointment as I leaned against the wall while I looked emptily at the window panel in front of me.
The scene there was usual. The streets were buzzing with busy people while the lampposts started to lighten and make the city lively during the night. I looked down at my wristwatch and saw that it was already six in the evening and yet I couldn’t move.
My mind was still foggy with the thoughts and the possibilities when finally, I had the courage to choose between them. If only I had been honest with myself, maybe I would have prevented it. Maybe Killian didn’t have to feel so wrecked after finding out that Dominic and I began seeing each other again.
How could I explain to him that it was something I had no control over? How would I tell him that it was always Dominic, no matter how hard I tried to stop myself? I looked up at the ceiling and thought about the decisions I made while watching Dominic peacefully sleeping beside me that night. Decisions that terrified me at first but I had to make so the twins and I could move on to the next phase of our lives. I was highly aware it would never be easy for the twins and it was a gamble I had to take knowing we couldn’t stay in the Moonstone anymore and further hurt Killian with our presence here.
They were right. It was always the right thing that was harder to do or make.
I collected the folders I tossed on Killian’s desk and I felt funny. My eyes furrowed and I thought it was just the automatic dim light of the room that made my vision look a little blurry but it wasn’t. I felt dizzy and hot and it was hard to stand up without the fear of falling and hitting my head on the white marble floor of the Alpha’s office.
“W-What’s happening to me!?” I whimpered to myself as I cupped my forehead with my hand and propped the other one against the table, trying to regain my equilibrium once again. My chest was tight and my breath was a little faster and warmer than usual. A fever? I asked myself as I blinked fast and drew in a steady and calming breath.
I wanted to get out of Killian’s office as soon as I could to avoid starting any arguments with him again. I never wanted for us to hurt each other because it was pointless for him to throw any more insults at Dominic just to convince me I was making a huge mistake. I already made a decision and he couldn’t change it. All I wanted was for him to realize that it was something I needed. That Dominic was a huge part of me I couldn’t get rid of easily.
Despite the feverish feeling, I did my best to stand without looking like a boozer in the hallways. The folders were still on my arm, safe and secure, making sure they wouldn’t slip from my grip because if they did, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to stand up again. I had never felt so dizzy like this before. It must be the rapid beating of my heart that pushed the adrenaline through my veins that I was able to get to my own office and slumped on the couch near the slightly opened window.