Chapter 3: A reason to live
I know that it is ridiculous of me to speak of death as a way out of my situation. I know it is a display of cowardice.. but what can I do? How can I live in this world?
I don’t want to experience it again, but I have no choice.
Life is a blessing, no– it is not a blessing, it is a chance, a chance to leave a mark in the land of the living and death seals that chance, so death completes life and gives it meaning.
This means that every life has a purpose, a reason, but.. I’ve long exhausted mine back on earth. Now the memories of my past life live within me, and the never-fading love I have in my heart is the very cause of my torment.
What is the purpose of my new life? It is devoid of purpose.
The grief and sorrow I feel from losing a love and people that I would never see again forever is too much for me to bear, all hope is lost for me.
And I can only ask these questions amid my sadness...
Why?
Why must I keep living with this pain I’m feeling right now? Should I keep living in a world without my family? What is the reason for this life I was given?
Should I just live on and forget about the precious life I lived? The love that still lingers in my heart? How the hell is that possible?
My heart feels like it’s burning, the pain I feel is like a burning fire.