Abyssal Awakening

"What must be done to avoid such a situation? How does one ’fix’ this world of ours?" Enris asked.

Alice simply stared at the scene before her and shrugged her shoulders.

"Isn’t that what Gods are supposed to figure out? Do I look like a god to you?" Alice sighed, shrugging her shoulders.

"That’s true. Right now, you are not a god. Yet. But you can’t trick my eyes. I see divinity in that body of yours." Enris chuckled, narrowing her eyes. "Or are you saying that you’ll reject ascension? To squander Veli’s gift."

Alice’s eye twitched slightly.

Enris was spot on. No matter what, Alice didn’t want to squander the gift that Velouria left behind.

But at the same time... she couldn’t see herself becoming a god.

All she wanted was a peaceful everyday life with her family.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Was that so much to ask for?

Alice let out a deep exhale.

"What answer do you expect me to reply with? Should I be like ’We should kill Nyer and stop his plans’ or ’Nyer is right, this is a better world’." She asked, turning the question back on Enris.

"Pft, if I knew why would I bother asking you? Girl you might be more stupid than I gave you credit for." Enris sighed as Alice had to actively hold back the urge to punch this god of chaos.

"I’m asking you because I want to know what kind of God you will become." Enris finally turned serious as she folded her arms.

"Lumiria is a jealous one. Seeing this kind of view, she’ll seek to take it all for herself. Even if that meant killing everyone in that room and taking their souls, shattering their peace and immortalising it in lunar crystal.

"Not the kind of God you’d want to see a scene like this." She shook her head.

"Solaris on the other hand, would want to make the celebration about him. If they’re happy, they better be happy because they’re in his presence. If they dare to be happy about something else other than him, well... I’m sure I don’t need to explain how petty of a God Solaris is." Enris chuckled.

"Then what about the sinful god of the Eclipse? The one who breathes war and famine into this world. A god who desires blood and sacrifice from her followers, sparking endless battles in her name. The absolute enemy of all." Alice narrowed her eyes.

Enris didn’t shrink away from the glare. In fact, she welcomed in.

"Fufu~ I would turn those smiles upside down. I want to see them suffer and cry. This meal? How amusing would it be if it turns out that they’re eating one of their children? With a snap of a finger, this joyful family meal becomes one of chaos and fear." Enris revealed a twisted smile before shrugging.

"At least that’s what I would say years ago."

"So now it’s different?" Alice raised an eyebrow.

"When you live as long as I do and do the same things over and over, they are bound to become boring. The same mead will lose its enjoyment if you drink it every second of every day, don’t you agree?"

"First of all, blasphemy. Second of all, I’m not stupid enough to overindulge to the point of losing my love for mead." Alice countered but Enris shook her head.

"That’s the problem. When you have so much time on your hands, you no longer have a choice. It’s inevitability. A matter of when rather than if. You will become bored of mead when you live as long as I do." She chuckled ominously.

"So what would you want to do now? If chaos and heresy is all you knew back then, what’s different now? Aren’t you still lusting over chaos?" Alice frowned.

"My tastes are... more refined. What I wish to witness is something more interesting. Fulfilling even. So that I can rest feeling ’full’ of satisfaction. And when I drift off into that slumber, I hope to never wake again."

Alice pursed her lips slightly.

"You remind me of Astrelya. I knew she’s a freak but don’t tell me she’s like a super high ranking member of your cult."

"That child... is a unique case. But you are right in that she follows my doctrine of the Eclipse." Enris nodded.

"Tch, no wonder she wants to die a happy death. Like god like follower I guess." Alice clicked her tongue.

"Is that so wrong? To die in a blaze of glory when both fighters have put their all to bare. When they’re locked in a moment that only exists for the two of them. To me, that sounds rather romantic."

For a moment, Alice wasn’t sure if Enris was being serious or not. But after seeing her expression, she understood that Enris was being 100 percent serious.

Letting out a sigh, she decided to humour Enris for now.

"You said it sounds romantic? All I feel is wasted effort." She shook her head.

"Throwing your life away for what? Battle? A final hurrah? Yes, it sounds good. But it’s only for the moment. Can you really be satisfied with that?" Alice asked.

"The loser dies. Their joy is cut short. And arguably, they get the better ending. The one who won? They only get emptiness. When you pour so much emotion into a singular task, the instant it ends, you need to find something new to fill that hole.

"If you don’t, that emptiness will keep growing uncontrollably. Then what? Why is the winner more miserable than the loser? Because the way you and Astrelya make it sound, both fighters need to put everything into that fight. To be prepared to discard everything else in their life for that singular moment." Alice spun on her heel, turning fully to Enris.

"That’s just sad and selfish. To discard everything for a single fleeting moment. What about the other people in your life?"

If Allura or Kaden decided to go out in a blaze of glory, Alice would want to protest. How can they fill her heart with such emotions only to throw themselves into battle without care?

What about her? What about the hole they’ll leave behind once they die?

They can’t just enter her life then leave behind a hole that’s ten times bigger.

"Selfish huh?" Enris mumbled as she focused her eyes at the scene of the happy family.

For Gods, this scene was both mundane and foreign. Something that looks so simple yet completely out of their reach.

Perhaps it was a natural flaw that came with being a god but Enris found herself unable to properly understand.

"So to you, are the attachments that you make in life the bars of your prison? If so, isn’t that more selfish than my desire of having them die in a blaze of glory? "

Alice furrowed her brows.

"You call it selfish to throw one’s life away for that singular transcendent moment. To cast aside the present and the future. The comforts of everyday life. A warm meal, a quiet home." Enris turned her gaze towards the rest of the village. "I agree. It is selfish. Selfish beyond measure. Throwing away such precious luxury’s may be a foolish move in your eyes. But for me?"

She paused.

Enris closed her eyes as she recalled the countless wars she’s witnessed. The stories of each hero. Their motivation, that glimmer in their eyes as they put their lives on the line for the better everyday of the common folk.

That was the height of beauty in her eyes. When humans were most true to their nature.

The pinnacle. When one can discard everything so that others may gain everything.

"Such sacrifice is what gives their life meaning. If one has nothing to lose then the sacrifice is cheap. It’s empty and devoid of meaning. Without weight, it’s simply another person throwing themselves for indulgence.

"But when they have experienced warmth, family, love and yet even after everything, still choose to wager their life for something they deem worthy... That is the beauty I desire." Enris smiled.

"Solaris wants recognition. Lumiria wants indulgence. As for me? I want meaning behind sacrifice. I want that final death to have some real weight behind it.

"You say that the winner is miserable. Left with a hole in their chest. Perhaps you are correct to some degree. Put think of it like this.

"Doesn’t that make the rest of their life more meaningful? Knowing that at one point, they stood at the cliff where everything could’ve been gone. Would they not cherish the time they have left even more delicately? This was the life they risked everything to achieve.

"And having won the clash, it is only right that they now get to enjoy it in its fullest. They might still feel empty. But that’s simply a sign that what they felt, what they experienced in that fight was irreplaceable. Another memory for them to hold close to their chest."

Enris turned to Alice and for the first time, Alice felt as though she could see the core of the god beyond the trickery and façade.

This was her deepest desire. The truest side of the god who ruled the Eclipse.

"There are moments in this world that happen only once. That final violent clash, the thought of whether or not this is your last. And willpower to still throw your entire being into such a class... That’s what I chase after. That is the final desire that I hold in my heart.

"At the end of my life. At the end of my purpose... I don’t wish to die as a god." Enris smiled.

"I wish to die as a ’human’ who has found a moment worth giving everything for."