Chapter 58 - 6
Chapter 6: The Gym, the Pain, and the Human Noodle
Look, I've had some weird lunches. Once I ate stale cereal with orange juice because we were out of milk and my dad said "experimenting builds character." But nothing—and I mean nothing—prepared me for eating reheated leftovers while getting a motivational speech from Naruto Uzumaki, shinobi extraordinaire and part-time ghost coach.
After limping home like I'd lost a fight with a haunted blender (which, honestly, wouldn't be the weirdest thing that's happened in Amity Park), the first thing I did was take a shower.
Let me just say: showering with half your back screaming and your eye still looking like it got personally offended by a bowling ball? Not fun. I may or may not have whimpered a little. No one can prove it.
The house was quiet when I got out. Mom and Dad were off doing their usual "mad scientist" thing—possibly at a ghost portal convention or creating ethically questionable weaponry in the basement. Jazz wasn't home yet either, probably solving quantum physics for extra credit or saving orphans or something equally jazz-like.
That meant it was just me, my damp hair, and the comforting hum of the microwave.
I grabbed some of Mom's leftover lasagna (surprisingly good, considering it hadn't exploded), nuked it to that perfect "magma on the edges, cold in the middle" temperature, and plopped down at the kitchen table with a sigh that sounded like it came from my soul.
And then—because my life is a swirling tornado of the absurd—I heard his voice.
"Yo, Danny! Ready to start training today?"
Naruto's voice came through clear as ever, thanks to the weird mental link we'd developed. (Don't ask me how it works. If I think about it too hard, I start questioning reality.)
I blinked at my lasagna. "Uh... define 'ready.' Because if you mean 'physically and emotionally capable,' then no. Absolutely not."