Chapter 134: Wine and Warrior Women
Sha’Rona leads them through the lively little village.
Women of all kinds greet the team fondly as they walk among them. Even the occasional forlorn-looking man pops into view to see the new arrivals, eyes flicking wide when they catch sight of Pip.
The team are led onto a small wooden platform, and Sha’Rona gives a sharp whistle, then tugs a hanging vine. The whole platform slowly lurches upward, hauled along the tree’s length by living vines grown for exactly this purpose. It deposits them at a walkway tucked into the canopy.
They walk along rickety walkways high above the forest floor, Vuvi clutching onto the vines along the way, not daring to look down until they reach a treehouse structure half-hidden by branches and leaves.
Sha’Rona leads them Inside, then gestures broadly. "My den. Welcome. Make yourselves comfortable. Touch nothing."
Everyone drifts in, silently marveling while Sha’Rona slips away into a side room, followed shortly by the sounds of running water.
The team immediately starts touching things.
Except Penelo, who stands frozen in the center of the house, staring at the walls in growing horror.
Across the structure hung weapons, trophies from old fights, a heap of blood-stained clothes piled in one corner, a table cluttered with old plates of half-finished food. Far too many empty bottles scattered around the floor, and a bra hanging from what looked like the polished lower jaw of a mountain troll mounted above the front door.
"This," Penelo says faintly, "is the least bunny-like house I have ever seen."
"I don’t know," Raikya says, pulling twin cleaving knives from a holster on the wall with obvious professional interest. "I kind of like it."
"Of course you would." Penelo sneers, "you were practically feral when we found you."
Raikya opens her mouth to protest, but fails to find a response, and shrugs instead with mild agreement.
"There’s a system here." Sera announces as she picks up a bottle, swishing it as she checks for any left overs. "It’s not messy, it’s organized chaos. There’s a difference. "
"There is not a difference." Veena gags as she pinches a bloody rag off a stool.
"There is absolutely a difference." Sera retorts, grinning when she finds a half empty bottle of mead and promptly knocks it back, with immediate regret. "Ugh... that was NOT mead."
Sha’Rona emerges from a side room at that exact moment, chuckling, stark naked, a towel draped over her head as she scrubs her wet hair dry.
Pip lets out a high, startled beep and a burst of steam from his collar vents.
The bunny-kin warrior arches a brow at him before laying the towel across her shoulders. "What is that and what’s its problem?"
"That’s Pip!" Lula starts to explain, "His a gift from the Great Mother herself."
"What’s a Pip?" Sha’Rona mumbles, clearly confused.
"Never heard of the Prince of Pleasure?" Veena asks.
"...Pleasure... Prince?" Sha’Rona mutters.
"He provides a certain type of healing." Sera adds, "Mind, body and soul."
"Through orgasms!" Lula adds plainly.
"Life changing orgasms." Raikya sighs.
"W-What!? Did you just say orga..." Sha’Rona asks, shocked by the dragon-kins statement
But Vuvi cuts her off smoothly. "Side quest first! Don’t worry about Pip, your whole village is going to get to know him. Very soon. Very intimately."
Sha’Ron’s mouth falls open, she lifts a hand like she wants to say something to that, but Vuvi waves her off. "The forest, first. Tell me about your tree problem."
Sha’Rona shoots Pip one more suspicious glance, rubbing her chin thoughtfully before she turns her full attention to Vuvi and the rest.
The dwarves, she explains, have been clear-cutting the forest at an unprecedented pace, for reasons nobody will explain. They’ve always taken from the forest responsibly, for generations, but for some reason, they’ve started devouring it.
"They won’t listen to reason!" she sneers, "So me and a handful of villagers have taken to quietly sabotaging their logging operation instead, but we’re too few, too weak, to actually stop it. We need help. Stronger allies."
Sera grins, rolling her neck with an audible crack. "Good news, darling! You’ve found the perfect team for the job." She starts ticking off fingers. "We’ve got a dragon-kin that can turn into a Baroness, a demon princess, a wolf-kin and her massive frosthound, and a divine construct." She flexes one arm proudly. "And then there’s me."
"What about me?" Vuvi demands.
"I’m counting the muscle. Not the nerds."
Vuvi gasps, "Say that to my Boombuster, you muscle-head, bimbo!"
"What am I then?" Penelo asks, slightly worried at the answer.
Lula and Veena consider it seriously for a moment. "Mascot!" Veena blurts out as the answer sudden pops into her head.
"Exactly!" Lula agrees, "you’re vital to the team moral!"
Penelo pouts for exactly one second, then breaks into a delighted grin and nods enthusiastically. "I am very good at lifting morale."
"Best morale booster in the business," Sera agrees proudly.
"What does that make me, then?" Zora asks, drifting closer, sounding genuinely curious.
"Logistics," Sera says. "You said it yourself."
"Ah, that is true." Zora sighs, resigned, and drifts off to go admire one of the weapon racks instead, mumbling something about being an underappreciated support-skeleton.
Vuvi groans, dragging a hand down her face. "I need a drink."
"Kitchen," Sha’Rona says. "Third drawer, under the basin."
Vuvi’s already halfway out of her seat.
"Extra glass for me!" Veena calls after her.
"Make it three," Sera adds, not even looking up.
"Make it four," Raikya says, still poking at the trophy wall. "If we’re fighting dwarves tomorrow, I want to enjoy tonight."
Somewhere behind them, Pip lets out one long, faint, resigned beep, the exact sound of a construct who already knows, deep in his crystal core, that "one drink" is never actually one drink with this particular group of people.
"So..." Sha-Rona asks, "how does he work?"
Vuvi pops the cork off a bottle and takes a deep whiff before exhaling slowly with a wide grin.
"I think our generous host deserves a demonstration." she smiles while pouring a glass to the brim with a dark, red liquid. "Pip... would mind?"
Pip rises from his seat, bows deeply at Sha’Rona, and extends a hand in silent invitation.
Sha’Rona tilts her head, smirks slightly at Pip’s generous gesture, and grabs it before swiftly leading him to her room.
"Can’t help it if I break your toy." she calls back to Vuvi over her shoulder, a confident smirk across her lips.
"Oh, don’t worry about him, darling." Vuvi calls back, tipping her class at the two, "He’s usually the one breaking something." she winks, "Brace yourself."