Chapter 311: Jealousy
Kim’s pov
He was gonna spend his rut with someone else?
As I stared at him right now, I could see the way the anger was burning in his mesmerizing eyes, alongside something else. Those words were supposed to make me happy and relieved, right? Because if he stopped caring about me and moved on, I’d also slowly stop caring about him, then I’d be able to find other guys attractive and actually be able to move on. But that didn’t make me feel happy, instead, it made me feel sad and jealous.
The last time his rut came by, I remember it vividly, because that was the period we got to share a first kiss. I could remember breaking the kiss almost immediately after it started, but it still felt like the best kiss of my life. I could remember how he informed me that since he liked me, he was gonna be spending his rut alone, since I wasn’t ready to be with him yet, and that he hoped by his next rut, I’d be able to spend it with him.
Back then, I had felt flattered and also pleased, because even though I urged him to find someone else to spend it with and to not pine for me because we’d never get together, deep down, I kept hoping he’d really spend it alone and ignore my advice which I hadn’t meant. He ended up doing just that and I was happy. Even though that was selfish of me, it still made me happy.
I know it made me a horrible person to want him to spend his rut alone again, but that’s exactly what I wanted. I actually wished I could spend his rut with him, to have him fuck me with a primal need, to have him claim me with his bites and kisses, to have him knot me and fill me up. But because I knew I couldn’t have that with him lest I fall for him to the point of no return, the only other option I had was to settle with him spending his rut alone.
Now that he apparently wasn’t gonna be spending his rut alone, all I could feel within me right now was anger and jealousy. I folded my arms and glared up at him, hating the way my heart skipped a little at the intense look in his golden rimmed eyes when our gaze locked.
"You can do whatever you want. I don’t care." I finally breathed out, and I was glad that my voice sounded firm and cold. Roy blinked once, and then he scoffed
"You don’t mean that." He stated, or more like gritted out and I rolled my eyes, feeling my insides crumbing into a mess.
"But I do. You think I care about you? I’ve told you countless times that I don’t. Why? Are you wishing that I do? You’re still pining after me till now?" I forced myself to laugh after that sentence, a move which I regretted because something akin to hurt fleshed through his eyes for a moment, but it was falling away in the next moment and he was stepping away from me, face blank and voice cold.
"Let’s just go get the game over with then I can go get an omega whom I’ve been eying for a while." He snapped and I tried but couldn’t stop myself from gritting my teeth in anger and irritation as I stalked past him, heading straight to the part where I could see people lining up in twos.