Beneath the Dragoneye Moons

I never thought I’d be planning a party for a dragon. And even if I did, I never thought it’d be for Lun’Kat, the Stygian Deceiver.

Then again, I’d lived long enough, seen hated enemies become the closest of friends and lovers turn on each other often enough that nothing truly took me by surprise anymore.

Auri was working on a beautiful obsidian platform, with a scattering of Lava hardening into beautiful crystals. Rare to the point of impossible in nature, but the System provided. That was just for her landing spot.

We’d picked a place close to where she laired, but not so close as to be a problem. Not close enough that we’d interfere with her herds, and a reasonable - even for an Immortal dragon with an ego - distance away, so we weren’t ‘desecrating’ her territory. There was a suspicious lack of civilization anywhere near where her cave was located, even factoring in how nomadic centaurs were.

Iona was working on the tablecloths, straightening them all out. Getting them just so, in a way only millions of stats and a relentless eye for detail could manage.

Fenrir was on a distant hill in full armor, gleaming in the sunlight. A message that we had our heavy hitter with us, without being threatening.

Amber was patrolling around, making the smallest adjustments to everything. The three of us could move so much faster than the beanpole of a merchant, but her presence was critical.

“Fair warning you two.” Amber said. “Just because it was a good deal for me to sell you all those items, doesn’t mean she’ll accept.”

We nodded.

“Warning understood. It’s lucky for you, it doesn’t mean we’ll have any success.”

Lun’Kat’s title was effectively “liar”. Her skills and presence all revolved around deception. How could we trust a single thing she said?

We couldn’t. Nor would any skills help us out.

But Amber had magic beyond the System, having traded heavily with the fae. Her third class, her eye, and a permanent limp had been traded away in exchange for a coin, the ability to divine value, and a quiet skill that was rarely used.

She knew when people were lying. If Lun’Kat should negotiate in poor faith, Amber would be able to let us know. It was a huge risk for the merchant, the tastiest snack, the clear weak point on our team, but she believed the risk was worth the reward.

We had tried to pay her, but she refused.

“I don’t charge friends for this, let alone family.” She had said.

After the tables I started to set up various garlands and other party knick-knacks we’d collected over the years. Doing weddings was fun, and keeping the over the top decorations to do them every time we helped with a wedding let them all be over the top. Fly in, focus for 20 seconds, fly out, instant fancy wedding. They were almost all reusable for other parties, although I didn’t think Lun’Kat would want the big ‘Just Married’ flower wreath. Unless the negotiations took a bizarre turn. Well… we’d seen stranger things over the years. I packed it away, but made a mental note of where it was. Just in case.

Or heck, maybe she would, and I’d bust it out. Then silently judge her for robbing the nest. By an obscene margin.

Actually… I had to wonder if she was lonely. I’d seen evidence of her kids back then, but they had to be grown up and gone by now. Any spouse of hers had probably ascended, and… by Ciriel, could she just be incredibly lonely? I couldn’t imagine her life. If Auri and Iona ascended, if Nina and Sara were goddesses, if everyone I knew over the long years was dead or gone, what would I do?

Thoughts to keep in the back of my mind for later. Or to share now, they could be important. I quickly shared them with Iona.

“It’s a thought, but I doubt she’s stuck. If nothing else, she’s had chances to visit new realms, but has chosen to stay on Pallos. I think she’s got a goal, but the analysis is good.”

I nodded and we kept working on making everything nice.

Iona stepped back and surveyed all the tables she’d set up with a satisfied nod. They were ancient-dragon sized, ready to be loaded up with food and offerings. Amber made two more adjustments and gave her blessing to the entire thing.

“Alright! We’re ready for it!”

I started to [Teleport] everything out onto the tables. Raw slabs of steak, cooked and spiced brontosaurus legs. Roasted vegetables and herbed fish. Iona subtly adjusted each one on the tables as I continued to unload them all.

Auri had made a gigantic model of the dragon, done in pure sugar and held together with skills. We placed it at the centerpiece of the dessert table, along with other sweets. No idea if she’d like them, but the effort was clearly there.

We then placed out bars of useful metals and gold coins in a pile, our opening gifts to hopefully have Lun’Kat interested enough to stick around and discuss things. A few copies of various books and rarer seeds rounded the initial gifts out. Iona continued to rapidly shift them around, subtly moving them with [Telekinesis] to position everything just so. The items we’d brought to negotiate were stored safely in my pocket dimension.

“Ready?” Iona asked. I opened up the portal to my pocket dimension in the gate we’d made a few centuries ago for it. Made it look pretty.

“We’re sure we don’t want the martial vibe in case this turns violent?” I asked.

“Brrrpt?” Auri agreed as she zipped over to my shoulder, then rubbed her beak against my cheek.

“I’m sure.” Iona said. Given that she had over 4000 levels in [Silver Tongue], I was entirely willing to defer to her expertise.

Iona quickly prayed to the Moon Goddesses, and I sent my own up.

Hi Ciriel! About to do something super dangerous and possibly extremely stupid. Wish me luck!

You’re going to need ALL the luck. Ciriel’s mirthful voice echoed in my ears and mind. She’s been stubborn about this for over 30,000 years, she’s NOT going to change her mind in an afternoon.

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Better than going straight to violence. I argued back.

True. Good luck. I’ll make you an angel, and try to scoop a few of your ashes up. Ciriel teased.

Well, at least that way I’ll be able to listen to Sara tell me what an idiot I was. Black humor, what was not to love about it?

“Going to start now, unless anyone else has a last second item. Fenrir?”

He was a few miles away on his hill, and none of us doubted he heard every word. The mighty wyvern stretched and stood up on his wings and legs, ready to leap to our defense if needed.

“Go.” He said.

“Oh Lun’Kat, the Stygian Deceiver, greatest of the ancient dragons, peerless Immortal and shrouder of the moons! I, Iona, [Paladin] of Selene and Lunaris, eldest Valkyrie of an ancient Order, defender of the meek, beseech you! I would beg you for an audience, and have brought you food and drink, salt and gifts, merely for the opportunity to have a small conversation with your august presence!”

Iona didn’t need to shout, didn’t need to roar. The mystic magics that followed no rules the System laid down, that let dragons know when their name was called and lit a flare in their minds, that let Lun’Kat listen in on any conversation she was invoked in, would do it for us.

Auri rolled a tumbleweed past us. I shot her a fond and exasperated look. She replied looking far too smug. Amber rolled her eye and tugged her gem encrusted braid.

“Chair time?” I asked.

“Chair time.” Iona agreed. A minute later we were all sitting down, and Iona was shuffling up a deck of cards. Stasis wizardry kept the food fresh and unmolested by bugs, the mana drain completely unnoticed. Every hour or so Iona entreated Lun’Kat to come join us for negotiations again, modifying her speech not to be a pain.

The last thing we wanted was for Lun’Kat to get so pissed off that she went straight to torching.

Well, I suppose that wasn’t the last thing we wanted, but we were seeing if a non-violent solution could be found.

We rested at night, taking shifts and not trying to entreat Lun’Kat. Fenrir was starting to eye the feast by the third day.

By the sixth day we were only entreating Lun’Kat once a day, and Auri was going on a dragon-baking spree. Nest, hoards, eggs, scales, talons, dragonbreath - everything was modeled in fine sugar. Amber refused to flip her coin, leaving it hidden deep in the most secure vaults of our home.

She’d lost it once or twice over the years, and getting it back had always been a chore. Teasing her about it was fun.

“You should leave some for the rest of us.” I was half-teasing, half-serious. “If an Immortal War breaks out next week you’re going to have to go years without sugar.”

“BRRPT!” The idea was horrifying to Auri. Iona jumped in on the teasing.

“You know, the law of ‘life fucks you over’ practically dictates that the next Immortal War is going to break out before you can get more sugar.”

“BRPT!” Auri protested, miming water to her heart. She dramatically flopped over, and I laid my cards on the table. Iona made a disgusted noise as she flopped hers down. Amber had been banned from playing ages ago.

Bluffing and Iona’s vow to tell the truth had an interesting intersection, one that had evolved over the years.

“Well, that’s my shirt.” She stood up and slowly started to tease it off, my eyes glued to her every movement.

“BRRRRRRRRRRRRPT!” Auri trumpeted the alarm, and in a flash all of our clothes were back on and we were standing at attention.

Damnit, Lun’Kat. Committing the absolute worst sin like that? My tormented feelings of possibly needing to go toe to toe with the dragon were rapidly vanishing.

To say she was huge was a bit of an understatement, and the best evidence I’d seen that said dragons, like wyverns, never stopped growing. Her scales were as black as the void between the stars, and yet shimmered with iridescent light where the sun caught them. Her claws were as large as Iona’s glaives, and her teeth were like swords. If a pair of mountains were close enough, she could put her left legs on the first peak, and her right legs on the second one. Age hadn’t dimmed the intelligent gleam in her all too familiar eyes. She circled twice, breathing fire high above Fenrir when she passed over him. I wanted to [Identify] her, but I remembered what happened last time. Iona was going to have a better peek than me.

“Ilusion.” Iona quickly muttered to me in English, the only language we believed we could get away with.

It was possible that Lun’Kat had been blessed by a god over her long time on Pallos, even likely. But I knew I wasn’t blessed, Night wasn’t blessed, and several other long-lived Immortals weren’t either. It was impossible to play the ‘what-if’ game with blessings, given that they looked at all the normal rules of what magic could do and heartily laughed.

The fact that she hadn’t come in person made Iona’s attempt to peek at her stat sheet moot. Her illusion was good enough to spoof [The World Around Me], which had terrifying implications for the potential battle ahead of us. At the same time, I had no doubt that Lun’Kat could see, hear, and speak through her illusions, and that they were eminently deadly.

Heck, at the level of bullshit we were at, she could probably cast, eat, and otherwise perfectly go through life with her illusions. My imagination briefly conjured up the idea that she had illusions layered over the entire world, then the possibility that everything was an illusion.

I let a tiny part of my brain go gibbering with insanity in a quiet corner. I thought, therefore, I was. Even if I was simply a puppet in someone else’s play, that was good enough for me.

The skies darkened and roiled with storm clouds, as lightning started to rumble high ahead. Subtle differences told me that it wasn’t Fenrir’s doing.

Able to make tangible illusions? Lun’Kat could mirror any element, and most skills. I could only hope [Let There Be Light] would be up to the task should this come to blows. It should. The specific counter generally beat the broad general skill, but I had no way of testing, not without things devolving.

In a crash of thunder and flames she landed heavily on the dais provided. Her wings spread out, and dark flames ringed the platform.

Amber quietly slipped into the entrance hall of [Manor], one finger indicating if Lun’Kat was lying or not. I clasped my hands behind my back, another small finger movement at the corner of Iona’s eye transmitting the message.

What we did next had been carefully planned and choreographed, an entire room of our home dedicated to which actions were taken when, why, and conditionals. We’d had thousands of years to refine our abilities, if not outright plan.

We bowed deeply, but didn’t kneel. Iona immediately launched into a small speech in Lun’Kat’s own native language, deep growls and rumbles normally impossible for a human throat to make. She didn’t look surprised in the slightest. Then again, she was an illusion, and perhaps her true body was reacting, or we’d simply been around long enough for her to know about us. Or had perfect poise, or… the possibilities were truly endless.

We knew nearly every person and monster near level 4000. The only reason we didn’t claim to know them all is some were possibly hidden far away, avoiding all contact with others.

Auri, made of condensed flame and denser bullshit, started to translate in my ear, brrpting away merrily. Dragon to brrrpt was a stretch in the first place, never mind a second translation. I’m sure a ton of honorifics and flowery, diplomatic language was cut out. It took dozens of minutes to get through each point, the negotiations torturously slow for the little amount of information actually given. They went around and around in circles, the discussion barely moving forward.

“Lun’Kat. We offer these gifts to you, and wish to see if we can resolve the grudge you have against Selene and Lunaris.”

Lun’Kat accepted the gifts, and made no motion to break bread or share with us in any way. Not exactly a great start to things, but she seemed satisfied enough by our offerings. It wasn’t the worst. No fire, no screaming… honestly, my standards were a little low.

“Petty paladin. Our grudge isn’t one that can be solved with simple words, else we would have solved the issue eras ago. What could you possibly offer?”

“Great Lun’Kat, instead of resolving the grudge entirely, can I convince you to no longer veil the moons behind a great illusion? Surely, there is a new mark, a different mark, that you can choose to place on the world and the skies above.”

She snorted at that.

“And ruin the efforts I’ve made so far to slay the pair of traitors? No.”

There was clearly a story there, but we’d get it from the moon goddesses themselves later. It wasn’t like there were any other sources. Seemed like there might be more to the story.

Iona listed out our frankly impressive list of offerings, seeing if there was a way to tempt Lun’Kat. She pretended to be interested, but Amber silently called out her lies, and we got nowhere.

We did get some more interesting information.

“Should I ascend, the moon goddesses will attempt to slay me in my nascent stage. Why offer myself up as a sacrifice?”

I wasn’t terribly revenge driven, but if someone had been pissing in my cheerios for 30,000+ years, I could absolutely see the desire to do something about it.

Iona surprised me a moment later.

“I could offer my guarantee that you could ascend unmolested.” She offered.

“How?”

“Should the most sacred goddesses of the moon agree, and should they stoop to base treachery, then I will refuse to become one of their attendants or be associated with their domain upon my ascension.”

Lun’Kat almost looked offended by that, but then again - illusion. Every shift of her muscles, every blink, was decided on and deliberately cast from her.

“What use is that to me? I’d be dead, and your moment of crisis would be brief. Your faith has been strong over the years, you would come back to them. And I would be slain.”

The negotiations continued for another day of solid talking, but by then I realized the negotiations were futile. There was no trust between us, too many lies and deceptions. She realized we could divine when she lied, and we had nothing to offer her. She wanted us to personally kill the moon goddesses or otherwise see them dead. Obviously not an option. We offered to pray to other gods to help secure any deal, but Lun’Kat was too suspicious. She had good relationships with a good number of gods, but none of them wanted to get into a direct brawl inside the divine realm.

In short, tens of thousands of years of bad blood between the three of them wasn’t going to get fixed in a day, and we hadn’t even gotten a chance to look at the real Lun’Kat and check her stat sheet.

But we had tried, and that made me feel better about what was going to happen next.