The Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer

I could feel it.

That dreadful certainty, as clear as the chittering of mice before they even started dancing. Whatever Receptionist #1’s grand design was, she intended to see it through.

After all, doom wasn’t an echo in the deep.

It was a polite smile, a nod, and a posture more unwavering than the summer heat to come … for whereas the sun could be escaped from, the harbinger was a different matter entirely.

She recognised neither mercy nor obstacles, viewing them both as curiosities to be ignored.

When it came to the assassination of my dignity, she was more proficient than any amateur doppelganger. She was like a gluttonous horse to a premium apple, for while she herself was unbending and unbreaking, that didn’t apply to everything in her way.

Against such an unrelenting foe, I had only two options.

I needed to imprison her. Or I needed to flee.

Both were problematic.

A dungeon had as much hope of holding her as it did me. Since knights were just layabouts in shinier armour, it wouldn’t be long until they went from being broadly useless to being broadly useless except as the kingdom’s newest adventurers.

Fleeing was just as troublesome. Whether I was in the ramshackle stables of a common inn, the ruins of a burning tower or tucked away within my own home, she managed to put the fae to shame.

She simply appeared as she wished, caring little for privacy, walls or directions.

No … it was clear that half-hearted measures wouldn’t work.

This was no etiquette tutor I was fleeing from. Unlike Madame Levasseur, whose wiles I could (occasionally) escape using wits and silent prayer, I had no faith that any crevasse, gap or hanging vines were enough to hide me.

Whatever network of paid informants all receptionists used to determine my exact location at all times, it was clear that even my own home was no refuge.

That’s why … I would take the third option!

Bravely facing down doom itself!

Indeed!

I was no ordinary princess!

There was a reason I’d accumulated more points than every other to exist! Whereas my lessers would flee to their summer cottages or hide beneath their duvet, I, Juliette Contzen, was both courageous and beautiful!

Flee? Run? Abscond? Why should I do any such thing?

I’d only just returned!

Furthermore, the Royal Villa was more than just a home. It was where the eyes of the world were upon me. If the many spies and guests scrutinising my every move saw me fleeing from anything less than a tutor’s scowl, the very standing of my kingdom would be imperilled!

No, I could do no such thing.

Instead, I’d put aside all thoughts of flight and wait instead.

Just like every Contzen princess before me, I’d face my foe with righteousness and dignity. Here in my home, I’d proudly deny her the satisfaction of smirking at me as if I were a hedgehog partially stuck in a rhododendron bush.

But first–

“Haah … haa … haah …”

I needed to find the exact corner of my home I intended to bravely wait for her.

… Fortunately, I knew just what I was looking for!

The hidden chamber built by Miriam to accommodate any secret reading in the expanded library.

Ohohohohoho!

That’s right!

I would meet my foe in the field … but it would be a battleground of my choosing! One completely unknown to those outside the Royal Villa, while also having direct access to nearby staff who could discreetly give me all the snacks I wanted!

Providing they were sufficiently bribed, I could stay all day, all week, no … forever!

With endless shortcakes and literature, there was no reason I couldn’t remain to my heart’s content! It would merely be shifting my place of learning from my bedroom to the library!

Thus, with a smile of confidence, I wiped the sweat from my brows then peered around me.

I was delighted at what I saw.

The newly expanded wing was shorn of many books, but the construction itself was almost complete. Much of the oaken interior was already indistinguishable from the existing halls, with any scars in the wall or floor hidden away by the carpets and bookshelves.

In fact, it was so seamless that no obvious signs of any hidden refuge could be seen.

All I saw through my sweat was a young woman peeking around the corner. She took one look at the library’s newest guest before trying to retreat before she could disappoint me. I didn’t allow her.

“You.” I snapped my fingers. “I require assistance.”

“Y-Yes … ! I’m here! I’m working … ! H-How can I help … ?”

She practically hopped around the corner, all the while balancing a stack of books in her arms.

Even so, it didn’t hide the unusual attire.

She wore an apron that was both lacking in frills and also slightly too large. Straight and practical, it was very much akin to what shopkeepers wore, while beneath was a simple dress tailored to fit a common townsgirl and nobody else.

Even so, she was clearly a servant. Only my staff would look at me with the eyes of a bunny caught beneath Starlight Grace’s gleam. But while my maids wore aproned uniforms, none were like hers.

They also didn’t have name badges.

‘Tessa – Trainee.’

Momentarily confused, I leaned forwards and peered at her.

“Excuse me, but are you a tourist for the souvenir shop due to be shut?”

“N-No, I’m not. I work here.”

“Really? So you are a servant? I notice your uniform is quite different. Why is that?”

“I’m … I’m not a member of the Royal Villa’s staff … I’ve … I’ve been directly employed by Her Most Merciful And Kind, the Countess Miriam … as a trainee assistant librarian.”

I clapped my hands in delight.

“My, is that so? … How wonderful! Apologies, I was a bit confused. Aside from the countess, I wasn’t aware the library had dedicated librarians. So far, it’s only been stewards taking care of the library as part of their ordinary duties. I had no idea she was personally hiring! Are there many of you?”

“No, it’s … it’s just me … all alone …”

“Goodness, you’re quite fortunate to have caught her eye, then. You must be glad for the chance to work directly under the countess. It’s a very exciting time for the library.”

She nodded furiously. Her eyes started to swell with tears.

I was deeply moved. To think Miriam had found a literature enthusiast just like us.

“Yes! I’m deeply grateful. Immensely grateful. I like working in the library. It’s safe and warm here. And so long as I never leave, I’ll always be safe and warm. And also alive.”

“Wonderful. There’s no place warmer than here. Except my bathroom and my bedroom. Both of which are temporarily unavailable to me. I need a place to read for a long amount of time. I believe that a hidden sanctuary for studying exotic material is nearby?”

The trainee librarian looked at me in confusion.

Then, she uncertainly pointed to a nearby door.

“Are you referring to the room where the romance titles are kept … ?”

“O-Ohohoho?! The … The what? Why would the library of the royal family keep such things as romance titles? That’s just silly! … Also you must speak in softer tones, for you never know which ears might misunderstand. Maidens must not invite the judgement of the poorly minded. You understand, yes?”

Oddly, she looked like she didn’t understand at all.

She stared at me for several moments, looking me up and down before once again pointing at the door.

“... It’s, um, labelled as a stationery closet.”

“Thank you. That will be all.”

The young woman nodded, clearly already grateful for the chance to return to work.

I was deeply impressed. Miriam had barely started and was already hiring capable staff. I saw only bright days ahead for the library. Especially since I’d be there. Permanently.

Thus, I went over to the false stationery closet, checked several times to ensure nobody was observing, then opened the door and stepped inside.

Joy filled me at once.

Before me was a private reading room perfectly designed for long reading sessions.

Both cozy and spacious, there were chairs for sitting in, sofas for lounging in and also stacks of giant bean bags for doing both sitting and lounging as required.

The only window to the outside world was facing a part of the courtyard fenced off with hedges around the window, providing complete privacy while allowing natural light through. There was also a table with cakes, sweets and jugs of iced tea, ensuring all my nutritional needs were met.

However, greatest of all were the shelves stacked to the ceiling.

And with not a single history grimoire amongst them.

I could see the spines glittering with embossed titles. There was A Summer Knight’s Dream, Scandals Of The Incorrigible Viscount, A Rogue’s Stolen Heart … and there, taking up its own prominent section was A Court Lady’s Indiscretion, Volumes 1-5 plus rare and limited editions.

I could tell by the way the spines were slightly differently coloured.

That meant … she’d stocked the shelves with some of her own personal collection!

As my heart filled with appreciation, I wandered throughout this refuge within a refuge, wishing farewell to all the many hours to come. I decided to select the third volume of A Court Lady’s Indiscretion, intent on finishing it at last … at least until I saw something astonishing.

Beyond The Ashen Maiden’s Journey.

Why, that princess from Weinstadt had written a sequel!

I tip-toed to reach for it–

“Please allow me to help.”

“Oh, thank you.”

… Only for a receptionist to lean over and retrieve it for me with a polite smile.

I nodded in gratitude, then retreated to a corner, hugging the book against my chest like a shield.

“–Hiiiee?! You?! How did you breach the hidden refuge so fast?!”

“Ah, my apologies.” She clasped her hands together and smiled. “I was intending to wait by the lake as requested, but when I accidentally saw you returning to the Royal Villa, I was concerned that another incident had occurred. As a receptionist, it’s my responsibility to assist in any way I can. Including reaching for books.”

I gasped at the insinuation.

She might be smiling enthusiastically, but it was clear she was threatening to divulge my every secret unless she got exactly what she wanted!

“V-Very well … I see your adherence to your duties extends far beyond the desk and also any reasonable expectations. With that said, I’ve no need for assistance, nor am I here as an adventurer, as you now know but have worryingly chosen not to mention.”

“My duties extend to wherever I go, for that same tenet applies to adventurers as well, no matter what other professions or lives they may lead.”

I nodded.

“I see ... that’s indeed very noble. On an unrelated note, if you’re perhaps assessing how many crowns I possess, the answer is very little. I don’t receive a stipend, and can offer nothing for additional services. Such as discretion.”

The receptionist’s smile brightened.

“Oh, in that case, there’s little need to worry. Discretion is also part of my job. Rest assured, nobody will ever know what has been said in this room.”

Horror grasped me.

She was saying I could scream and nobody would know. Was this what it was like to be cornered in an alley by a ruffian, except that mine came with a veneer of customer service?

I slowly offered out my book.

“This … This is likely an advance copy of the sequel to The Ashen Maiden’s Journey. If so, it is rare and limited edition.”

“I’m not familiar with this series.”

“You can be. Especially if you sell it.”

“Excuse me?”

“You could make a considerable amount of crowns. It’s no less than what you deserve. To be made to traverse long distances merely to ensure I need to constantly glance over my shoulder is a terrible thing. Nobody deserves that. Nobody.”

“Thank you for the concern. But I’m quite happy to assist in any manner that I can. Unlike adventurers, my role is straightforward. Which is why I’d like to convey the messages I’ve been given so as to not disturb you any further. To start with–”

“Wait!”

“Yes … ?”

“Before you convey a single word, there’s something I need to say first.”

Standing up straight, I allowed my book to drop onto a bean bag.

I took a deep breath and nodded.

If it’d come down to this, then there was only one thing left to do.

“... I wish to hire you. Again.”

“Hm?”

The receptionist’s expression faltered. And so I smiled in triumph.

Ohohohoho!

Here it was at last! My most powerful gambit! … This time with a 100% chance of success!

Indeed, now she understood who I was, I had nothing to lose by shamelessly dangling the ultimate prize I’d offered to her before!

Except that by standing amidst the splendour of my home, there was no possibility she would do anything but offer her exorbitant salary demands!

“You may rejoice,” I said, placing my hand to my chest. “As the Royal Villa still lacks mages capable of conjuring wine over guests while blaming someone else, my previous offer still stands. I am therefore reissuing my offer of employment. In return for your magical services and your immediate amnesia regarding certain things, you shall have lodgings, a workshop and remuneration greater than anything the Adventurer’s Guild could offer even should they turn their vaults inside out. You can even have a corner of the courtyard as your own private garden.”

I pointed through the window.

The receptionist blinked.

She then looked up with a hum, as though asked what the best way to catch a tabby cat was.

“Oh my. That’s a generous offer. I’ll have to think about it.”

“E-Excuse me? You’re still not accepting?”

“Not at all. But I’ve yet to find someone to replace me at the cat shelter. Moreover, there’s a considerable amount of due diligence involved in accepting new employment. It’s also something I’m still only able to do when I’m not working–which I currently am.”

I was aghast.

My ultimate gambit had failed. At least until the next time when it had a 200% chance of success.

Until then, all I could do was squeeze myself into the corner as the receptionist clapped her hands together. And yet it was no spell of calamity she was conjuring.

That would have been a kinder thing.

“... Which is why I’ll now deliver Mr. Quinsley’s messages. He wishes for you to know that your rewards are ready to be collected.”

“My rewards?”

“Yes. You requested a significant sum in exchange for transferring to the Reitzlake branch, although it technically forms part of your discretionary payment for resolving the affair with the Smuggler’s Guild in the royal capital. It is ready for collection.”

I blinked.

“Oh. Is that it?”

“No, there are further rewards. The enchanted sword known as The Severing Oath has been released from its vault and is ready for collection. A commission reward of 127,892 gold crowns for detaining the Golden Prince has also been gathered from the merchants of Trierport and delivered to the 1st Princess as requested. Additional rewards have been prepared from commissions you fulfilled, perhaps unknowingly, while travelling. On behalf of the Adventurer’s Guild, Mr. Quinsley offers his appreciation once again.”

I waited.

And then I waited some more, my body tensing as I braced for the ambush.

Until eventually–

“Is … Is that it?”

The receptionist nodded and smiled.

Fwip.

Just before holding up a familiar piece of parchment where her hands were previously empty.

I couldn’t turn my eyes away fast enough.

This certificate hereby certifies that the following member of the Adventurer’s Guild has reached SS-rank*.

JULIETTE.

Reitzlake Branch.

(*Formal ranking remains ‘S’ for administrative purposes.)

Only the walls stopped me from collapsing.

It'd happened.

It'd finally happened.

Even without rescuing any further cats, the fact that I was the only one with functional fingers, thumbs and toes meant this was inevitable. Just by merely existing and not hurling shoes into the communal cauldron, the worst possible punishment was handed out.

“Congratulations! You are now an SS rank adventurer!”

The words echoed in the debased refuge.

Until recently, I didn’t even know such a rank existed. And yet from that moment the Oddwell man had made passing mention of it, I knew I'd be forced to face it.

This.

Another shamelessly plain certificate with my name scribbled on it.

And it was again being offered like a brochure for mane combs at a market.

Just like that.

Frankly, there was something almost appropriate about the lack of fanfare. The guild was only known for its shoddiness, after all. And yet all it did was lay bare the darkness assailing my eyes and poking my tummy.

Even so, I still saw one glimpse of light. And it was the fact that it could no longer get worse.

“I … I see … that is … that is an absurdly high rank …”

“It is. S rank is officially the highest rank. Countless records were broken to achieve it as soon as you did. To receive SS rank shortly afterwards is a feat I’m certain will never be surpassed. It is truly remarkable, as agreed by Ariona Maylep. She’s also widely recognised as an SS-rank adventurer, and represents guild headquarters and its highest council.”

I said nothing.

I also didn’t reach for the certificate.

Alarmingly, the receptionist wasn’t attempting to hand it to me either.

“Is … Is that it? This is the end, right? There’s nothing else I need to seek a falling plant pot over? No other ranks, yes?”

“Yes, this is all my messages. My apologies for taking up time. There are no further ranks as well–officially or unofficially.”

To my horror, the receptionist’s eyes were shining.

And not a single bit of magic was involved.

“... With that said, the reason no further rank exists is because no precedent calls for it to. And yet you’ve now just saved the royal family from a doppelganger who succeeded in emulating the abilities of an SS-rank adventurer, and in doing so, prevented a future none could predict. Although the doppelganger’s words were righteous, her actions could so easily have been worse than anything a tyrant could have achieved.”

“Hnnghh … hhgggnh … hgggn … !!”

I lifted at the window frame to force it open. It refused to budge even as I shook it.

“However, it's more than the calamities you faced one after another which proves your worth, but the manner in which you resolved them. Instead of using strength to leave only bitterness in your wake, you have shown kindness and mercy, allowing those you brought to justice to atone in life. To hold back a sword is far harder than to swing it. Such discipline and empathy encapsulates the very core of the guild, and are traits that many come to lose as they rise higher in the ranks. You have never faltered.”

Pwam. Pwam. Pwam.

I banged my palms against the glass. When that failed, I whacked it with the sequel to The Ashen Maiden’s Journey. Lastly, I threw a bean bag.

Nothing.

The glass … it was so strong!

Why, it remained so unbroken that even the reflection of a receptionist’s sparkling eyes remained clear–as well as the quill conjured in one hand as she held the certificate in the other.

Turning around, I was appalled to see her not only smiling, but leaning forward slightly and winking.

A complete departure of professionalism.

Here was a playful young woman clearly enjoying herself.

And why not?

She was about to complete her scheme, once and for all.

“Therefore, please allow me to indulge,” she said, ignoring the rapid shaking of my head. “As a personal note of gratitude. Although I’m afraid this is unlikely to be recognised outside this room, I offer this on behalf of all receptionists who earnestly support you.”

She brought her quill to the certificate and scribbled a tiny plus sign.

With her addition complete, she nodded as though admiring a work of art and beamed.

“Mmh. That looks a little better, doesn’t it? … Congratulations! You are now an SS+ Rank Adventurer!”

I tossed the bean bag a final time at the window.

It slid down onto the floor.

A moment later, darkness took me, and I joined it.