Book 3: Chapter 73: All's Faire in Love and War
Yes, my life was full of problems. So I did what any sane adult does when overwhelmed. Avoidance!
The music playing in the street was barely audible above the sounds of magical explosions, tamed monsters, and screaming children. Above me, fireworks shattered the night ‘sky’ and the people in the streets shouted their appreciation.
I smiled happily at the sight. Copperpot had outdone himself.
Today was the day of the Octamillenial faire, that long awaited event. All of Redwall had been transformed into a massive open party, with exciting exhibitions, marvels of magic and machine, and lots and lots of food. Everywhere I looked there were food carts and places to spend what little remained of my enormous piles of gold. It reminded me of Playland in Vancouver, minus the hot dogs and plus a lot of hairy children.
Okay, maybe the hair wasn’t that different. I thought back to some of the in-vogue hairdos of the nineties and shuddered. I’d always thanked whatever Gods existed back on Earth, which were apparently many, that Sammy had never wanted a big poofy do. Now, Caroline’s hair back in the day, when she’d gone through that ‘Fitness Goddess’ phase had been something to see! Brushing her hair had been like parting the red sea!
I felt the tension in my shoulders releasing as I watched a group of mustachioed youngsters run past carrying giant stuffed animals. It seemed some traditions were universal.
I turned to the dwarfess beside me with a big shit-eating grin. “Want to go get some candied fruit? They managed to bring in honey from some place called Hive Dungeon up in the human kingdoms. It sounds awesome!”
“Hive is a horror of a dungeon.” Tourmaline said, matter of factly in her same-song blase tone. “It has some of the most deaths per capita of any dungeon in North Erden.”
“Spoilsport.” I muttered. “I’m getting some of those rock candy sticks at the very least.”