Chapter 52 - 69?
Olivia’s pulse quickened even more, she felt like her heart was about to explode as Joseph said it.
"N–"
"You know you can never step over that." Joseph interrupted her. "You can never accept the death of your parents. It will always be something that weighs down a person, a darkness, that’s what it is. Weeks, months of despair, suffering on your own. You fight with it, trying to accept that they’re gone, but deep inside..." He pointed to his heart. "You will never accept it, that they are gone." He leaned forward. "I never accepted what they did to me, you know. That little hope was always inside me, though I lied about it, tried to push it down, like ’no, they can’t be doing this to me, what have I done..."
He leaned back, staying silent for a brief moment as if lost in thought, maybe... and it really seemed like he was completely lost.
"Yeah... well I totally forgot the point I wanted to make with it." He laughed. "Fuck, I might truly have a mental issue... but don’t worry, I’m not going to touch your family or you. I just wanted to say that this whole shit you’re in, it’s nothing. You feel like you’ve betrayed yourself, but no... you did good, Olivia. You listened to your heart, your own justice. I love you for that. I will love you till death for it. I truly appreciate you."
He leaned forward once again, but this time he gently took her hand... in a warm way, like he wanted to comfort her. It was such an unbelievable moment for her because she actually felt it. She felt Joseph’s warmth as he held her cold, trembling hand... It somehow felt comforting, like a lifeline.
How strange was that... a man with all his darkness could give comfort to the same woman he shot.
"People always say time heals, but it doesn’t. Time just teaches you how to carry the weight better. You learn to live with the scars, even if they never really fade. Some days you’ll feel like you’re drowning in all the pain, like it’s going to swallow you whole and that’s okay. It’s okay to feel broken, to scream inside, to want to give up." His grip tightened on her hand, not in a hurtful way, but more like a caring one. "But if you do that, you lose a part of yourself that’s still fighting to survive. So don’t give up on yourself, Olivia. Not now, not ever. Because somewhere beneath all that mess, there’s still hope. And as fucked up as life gets, hope’s the only thing that keeps us from falling apart completely. I’m not telling you this to pity you. I’m telling you because I know what it feels like to be lost, to feel like you don’t matter anymore. But you do. You matter more than you realize." Joseph finished his motivational speech and just and he let go of her hands and sat there calmly.
Olivia, on the other hand, just blinked in total confusion, struggling to process what had just happened. "Y-You... you fucking came here to comfort me, you psychopathic fuck...?" Her voice was shaky, and even she chuckled at the sheer absurdity of the situation.
"Yeah." He answered straight away, looking at her still confused face. "Well, my first plan was to threaten you, to say I would behead your entire family, your dog, your cat, your bird, even your fucking goldfish if you had one. But then I thought about you... how you had been kind to me, at least to some extent. You wanted to help me, and you cared about me... so I changed my plans."
"To comfort me...?" She asked back, her mouth slightly opened.
"Everybody needs an emotional partner, Olivia, and I’m here for you... of course, in a way where I give you something, and you give me something... like doing 69. So yeah, I tried my best not to, you know, threaten you, and I still don’t want to. So let’s just help each other out."
Yeah, now she totally understood what Fian was talking about... that it’s really true that every one of those Cassians is fucking rotten from the moment they’re born... like they’re the punishment for the world’s sins, or something fucking diabolic like that... and she actually believed him. Yeah, she got manipulated and tricked the moment she touched his files.