Chapter 35: The Weight of Wanting
Josie
The first thing I did when I got home was shower.
It wasn’t just about getting the grime off. It was about scrubbing away the touch of Alpha Ian, the scent of his pack, the suffocating dirt and trauma clinging to every inch of me like a second skin. I stood under the water until my legs trembled from exhaustion, until my fingers were shriveled and numb. Even then, it didn’t feel like enough.
The steam fogged up the mirror, but I didn’t look into it.
I couldn’t.
What was I even expecting to see? The same girl who had been taken days ago? Or someone... broken?
I dried off slowly, fingers aching as I tugged the towel around me, then slipped into a soft robe someone had left folded neatly on the bed. The fabric was gentle against my raw skin, and I was grateful for its warmth. Someone had also brought me food—plain rice, warm broth, a small plate of fruit—but I could barely taste any of it as I forced each bite down. It felt like chewing cardboard.
I ate like I was going through the motions, not really present in my body. Like my limbs moved out of habit, not because I wanted to move. Everything inside me was still frayed. My stomach churned with hunger and nausea at the same time.
I should’ve stayed in bed.
My entire body was screaming for sleep, for stillness, but I couldn’t rest. Something inside me buzzed—an itch I couldn’t scratch. I needed to see them. I needed to know where they were—my mates.
Thorne.