Chapter 256: Rage Beyond Compare
During the past week, having his mind occupied by the war, Spade decided to let go of some things in his mind to be able to focus on the matter at hand.
And yet, Spade would be a hypocrite if he said that his fear had also faded. No, it was still there; it was waiting for the right time to erupt.
It seemed this was the right time—a time when Spade was caught off guard and could hardly think of anything. There was no doubt that what was happening had slapped him to where it hurt the most. The reality seemed to mock him for his incompetence and arrogance.
As they continued to approach the capital, the harsh whisper of reality seemed to grow louder and louder beside his ears. Spade’s eyes were still firmly shut, and as time passed, the quivered off of his lips intensified from holding his emotions.
At some point, his trembling fingers pinched his brows. The throbbing of his head made it even harder for him to maintain his rationality. He clenched his teeth, bent forward, bowing his head, and powerlessly hunched himself in the backseat.
Spade regrets it so much. There were a lot of what-ifs in his mind, like a cliche he never thought would befall him.
If only I hadn’t left the capital. If only I had brought Arren with me. If only I decided to be unreasonable for once and let the royal guards not leave Arren’s side.
If only... Spade’s lips trembled again. He almost let out a humorless laugh with these thoughts. It was fucking ridiculous, but it was all the thoughts that kept whispering in his mind.
Ahh... How pathetic.
Spade then criticized himself. Gone was the calm and composed dominant alpha that was known to everyone in the world. If one could witness him at this moment, no one would believe that he was the same person as the sun of the Empire.
Perhaps, he was indeed different. When it came to Arren, Spade was never the Emperor.