Chapter 41
As they walked toward Ashley’s parked car, Koi couldn’t help but feel like he was being dragged along against his will. And of course, he was. Ashley was walking ahead, fingers laced tightly with Koi’s, while Koi hesitated behind him, dragging his feet.
The warmth of Ashley’s large hand, tightly wrapped around his own, made Koi uncomfortable. He tried to subtly slip his hand free, but Ashley, sensing the movement, only gripped tighter. Startled, Koi looked up. Still facing forward, Ashley spoke.
“I told you—I’m not letting go.”
The words I won’t run away again were on the tip of his tongue, but they wouldn’t come out. Realistically, he’d just been caught fleeing in the act. Even to himself, that promise wouldn’t have sounded convincing. So Koi lowered his head again in silence.
The atmosphere was tense and awkward, yet at the same time, Koi felt a strange sense of reassurance from the warmth of Ashley’s hand refusing to let go. Was this what friendship was supposed to feel like? Constantly shifting emotions, conflicting feelings tangled up all at once? Koi didn’t know. Ashley was his first friend, after all.
Maybe I’m just hitting a really late puberty.
Koi thought to himself. Sure, he was past that age, but he’d learned that even adults could go through changes like that. Puberty brought not only physical changes but emotional upheaval too. And wasn’t that exactly what he was going through now?
Maybe manifestation and puberty are similar.
It was a surprisingly decent thought. Both involve drastic changes. Most experience it before adulthood, but sometimes it hits later. If that’s the case, then maybe puberty is just a kind of manifestation for betas. That would make for an interesting essay topic.
He’d unexpectedly stumbled upon an idea for his essay, which was great—but that was as far as escapism could take him.
Koi cautiously glanced at Ashley. He still hadn’t turned around, so Koi couldn’t see his expression. Ashley had pulled him along without once looking back.
He must be really mad.