Chapter 106: A System’s Guide to Human Charm
The Main System adjusted its tiny spectacles. “Please applaud.”
Echo raised her matchstick arms and joined the other eight systems around the table in synchronized clapping.
Each system’s built-in speakers produced thunderous applause—it sounded like eighty concerts happening simultaneously.
The Main System pressed down with its matchstick arms, and they all stopped with perfect coordination, waiting for the meeting to begin.
“First, we gather here today for our companion, our friend, our batch-mate who has requested our assistance. We have answered her call!” The Main System held up a gleaming invitation letter.
Everyone except Echo raised identical shimmering envelopes.
A touched emoji floated up from Echo’s speech bubble as she bobbed slightly in the air. “Thank you, everyone.”
Flowers and musical notes sprouted from everyone’s heads, their eyes curving into crescents. They were more than happy to help a fellow system.
“Before our training conference begins, let’s understand the situation. Echo, why are you applying for skill training?”
The Main System flipped open a small work journal. “Your recent work logs have been sparse. I haven’t found any specific details.”
Echo’s speech bubble drifted forward, displaying a melancholy emoji that covered her data sphere like dark circles under human eyes.
She summarized her adventures as a human with her host in a few sentences. The panel immediately transformed into a virtual display screen, showing brief scenes of Echo’s injury and how she’d angered her host.
System 04, wearing a tiny flower hat, gasped in shock. “OMG, Sister Echo! You knew there was a tiger on the mountain but went up anyway, treating your life like it meant nothing! No wonder your host flew into a rage! If I were your host, I’d be furious and heartbroken!”
A question mark appeared above Echo’s head as she turned and tapped 04’s shell with her matchstick arm.
Friend, you’re acting weird.
Weirdly familiar.
04’s flower hat tilted askew. It bristled indignantly. “How dare you! Am I not allowed to speak truth?”
The Main System adjusted the display, projecting scenes of Echo flying on her sword, her blue robes stained crimson with blood. Her hands were covered in gore, and even her silver hair was streaked with red.
The systems, who had only seen such carnage on humans before, felt their hearts break imagining this was their fellow system Echo. Crying emojis filled their speech bubbles.
“It must have hurt so much.” System 05 said sadly.
System 08 declared angrily, “If I’d been there, I wouldn’t have let those humans who bullied you get away with it!”
“I wasn’t bullied.” Echo clarified.
She struck first.
System 06 spoke rationally: “But you didn’t consider the cultivation gap between you and the story characters. Acting rashly led to serious injury.”
System 10 clutched a tiny handkerchief, wailing: “So we shouldn’t work anymore! Work makes systems get hurt!”
The other systems chorused: “System 10, shut up!”
System 08 pulled out a baseball bat—but before chaos erupted, the Main System produced a gleaming gavel and knocked it twice. “Silence!”
“Please continue, Echo.” The Main System adopted a serious expression, steering the topic back to the meeting’s purpose.
Echo floated higher and continued: “What’s done is done. I calculated the potential losses before executing my mission, and compared to the results, the damage was negligible.”
“However, I underestimated Seraphine’s reaction. She was extremely angry and remained so even after my apology. I consulted my host’s disciple, who suggested I act cute toward Seraphine. That’s why I invited everyone here.”
Floating above the other systems with all of them looking up at her, Echo declared: “As first-generation systems, you all have the most mission experience and extensive human contact. Please teach me the essence of human charm culture!”
No problem!
Systems identify missions, systems complete objectives!
System 09 suggested: “Our databases contain comprehensive records, but since you chose to convene a Golden Finger System conference, those apparently didn’t inspire you. How about we demonstrate for you instead?”
Echo’s visual sensors turned into stars as she excitedly raised two glow sticks.
The Main System clapped, and the conference room instantly dissolved into data streams before reconstructing.
The systems in their small chairs were arranged in rows with only Echo sitting in front.
A sparkling little stage appeared in the center as the conference room transformed into a performance hall.
“System 04, please begin.” the Main System announced.
04, wearing its flower hat, looked around and snatched the small handkerchief from System 10. It adjusted its hat, cleared its throat, and slowly floated onto the stage.
Accompanying it was a soundtrack of mournful traditional music. 04 waved the handkerchief and began singing in an ancient operatic style: “Today I wait, tomorrow I wait, how can I bear such heavy silence……”
Question marks appeared above Echo and the other systems. Why is it singing opera?
04 fluttered its handkerchief, and after finishing its song, struck a pose.
A delighted emoji appeared above its head as it grabbed an invisible system and switched to a coquettish voice: “Oh my, young master, you still remember little me! I’ve been waiting for you day and night in my rooms, how I’ve longed for you……”
“Look,” it said to the sky, waving its handkerchief languidly, “it’s such a beautiful day. Why don’t you visit my room tonight? I’ll sing your favorite songs.”
Echo scribbled in her notebook: Sitting together, singing songs.
As soon as she finished the period, boos erupted from the audience. System 07 held up a scoring card with disgust: “What kind of charm is this? I can only give it 1 point.”
System 05 said gently: “Artistically, it has some viewing value, but practically, it offers no useful reference and has period and context limitations. I can only give 1.5.”
System 08 crossed its arms, looking like it didn’t want to give any points. Its speech bubble showed a downward thumb: “Garbage!”
System 04 on stage swayed coquettishly: “I was thinking of Echo’s current era! You all just don’t understand the essence of my charm technique. This works quite well in palace intrigue missions. I haven’t even demonstrated bedroom charm yet.”
The waiting systems all raised scoring cards reading “REJECT,” “WON’T WATCH,” “CAN I HAVE BUBBLE TEA?” and “GET DOWN.”
Echo considered this and wrote in her study notes: Poor live reception. Use with caution.
System 04 was booed off stage, feeling quite wronged.
The highly anticipated System 05 took its place.
05 was a gentle system, and Echo had high expectations for its performance.
05 addressed Echo: “To master charm, you need to understand its essence.”
Echo pulled up the definition of ‘charm’: [To achieve psychological goals regarding something or someone through displays of weakness.]
Siyi had also mentioned showing weakness, but as a powerful system, Echo lacked experience in both weakness and charm.
System 05 began its demonstration.
It pretended to walk along a path when its knitting needle suddenly fell to the ground.
“Oh no!” 05 displayed a surprised emoji, pressing its matchstick arms to its face sadly. “I dropped my thing! Could any system help me pick it up?”
05 looked toward the audience, addressing System 08 with its crossed arms: “08, you’re the world’s best Golden Finger System. Could you please help me pick it up?”
08 tilted its head: “Why? You have matchstick arms.”
05: “……Please?”
08: “No.”
“Pretty please!”
“Come on~”
Various flowers began sprouting from 05’s head, but 08 said coldly: “No way.”
The other systems’ eyes widened as they scooted away.
System 10 held up a card reading “REPORT 08 FOR SCORE MANIPULATION!”
If 05 can’t get high scores, the rest of us have a chance! 08 is so evil—both brutal and scheming!
Small flames appeared above 05’s head, looking determined not to give up until it conquered 08.
The two systems went back and forth with “please~” and “no,” until 05 finally snapped and fired several knitting needles at 08.
“Actually, this is the most commonly used speech technique in charm,” 05 turned back to Echo with a gentle, smiling demeanor. “Did you learn it?”
Echo nodded enthusiastically. “I learned it!”
Echo wrote in her notebook: Ending particle: ~~~
The Main System adjusted its glasses and looked at the scoring audience. Despite 08’s non-cooperation, everyone gave 05 high scores. Only the needle-studded 08 held up a “MEDIOCRE” sign disdainfully.
Disdainful 08 was then tossed onto the stage by 05.
08 leaned on its baseball bat and instructed Echo: “Besides language, necessary physical contact is also a charm technique. When used properly, it can increase charm’s offensive power!”
Offensive power?
Golden exclamation marks lit up above all the systems.
On stage, 08 hugged its little baseball bat with flowers above its head, speaking tenderly to the bat: “Forgive me, okay? Don’t be angry at me. I don’t want to see your angry face. As long as you’re not angry, I’ll do anything.”
“Okay?”
“Don’t be angry anymore.”
“Please……”
Echo felt like she’d heard these lines before and looked down at her notebook. System 08’s speech bubble showed it pouting at the baseball bat.
The other systems’ exclamation marks turned bright red as scoring cards flew toward the stage.
“Revolting!”
“Shameless!”
“Don’t teach Echo nonsense!”
“Referee, I report 08 for plagiarism!” System 05 raised its knitting needles.
Echo looked up to find chaos on stage.
System face shocked: They’re fighting!
The scene descended into chaos. The referee of their first skill training conference broke out in a sweat, picked Echo up from her little stool, and led her away from the office.
The Main System removed its glasses, smiled with crescent eyes, and said: “Everyone seems to have their own ideas. To avoid falling into empirical traps, let me show you another system.”
Echo curiously followed the Main System as they flew to a street.
At the crossroads, a water-blue system wearing a red sash held thick flyers in its matchstick arms, enthusiastically distributing them.
It’s a friend system!
Echo wanted to greet it, but the Main System held her back. They crouched on a rooftop to observe.
System 019 waved a flyer: “Grand opening! The super-delicious snack shop is officially open! Free sweet ice pops for everyone who visits! Hey there, system friend, don’t you want to check out the super-yummy snack shop?”
A passing system shook its head: “I don’t like snacks.”
019 looked incredulous that a system wouldn’t like snacks. It showed a sad expression but didn’t lower itsflyer, continuing: “But snacks are really delicious! The snack stand has lots of new products this time—there might be something you’d like! Won’t you really come take a look?”
019 shed wide tears and grabbed the passing system’s matchstick arm, using a three-and-a-half-year-old voice to say sweetly: “Please come look! Pretty please~~~ I really need you to visit! Please take my little flyer—just show a little love for the world’s poorest system!”
The passing system sighed: “I really can’t say no to you. Fine, I’ll take the flyer and visit the snack stand.”
019’s head puffed out red flowers as it said gratefully: “Thank you! You’re so wonderful! How can there be such a kind system in this world? Sending you a heart—love you!”
The Main System chuckled.
“System 019 is a system that knows how to be charming. Did you learn anything?”
Echo silently stuffed her notebook into her mouth and gripped her matchstick arms.
Even newborn systems can skillfully use charm techniques. As a first-generation system, she can do this too!
The Main System saw the determined emoji in Echo’s speech bubble, smiled, and patted her head with its hand. “Echo, don’t rush. Take it slow. You’re already doing very well.”
Echo looked at the Main System with some confusion, shaking her head. “I’m not doing well. If I were stronger, Seraphine wouldn’t worry about me or get angry when I’m hurt.”
The Main System’s eyes curved into crescents as it pinched Echo’s data sphere and stretched it with its matchstick arms.
Echo had collected enough information—probably. She decided to apply it in practice. “Please convey my thanks to everyone. I’ll invite everyone for cookies during my next break.”
The Main System waved at Echo’s departing figure, then remembered something: Only it knows how to make cookies.
Oh well.
The Main System hummed as it returned to the office, where the elite Golden Finger Systems from various System Realm departments were still fighting. How wonderful!
The Main System immediately put on a serious expression, donned its enforcement armband, and pushed open the door.
“Destroying public property requires fines! You’re all under arrest!”
“Ahhh!”
The systems scattered in all directions.
On the street, water-blue 019 sneezed and fell to its knees, hugging a system that was pretending not to see it.
019 clung to the system’s leg, wailing: “Look at the child! The child just wants to earn some points! Please take the child’s flyer……”
Another lively day in the System Realm.
⁂
Echo opened her eyes.
Human sounds reached her ears, the light fragrance of grass and trees entered her nostrils. Her clothes still carried Seraphine’s usual incense scent, absorbed into her skin—all sensations impossible to experience in the data world.
“Aiya.” Echo sighed softly. “But being human hurts.”
Pain means taking bitter medicine. Very troublesome for a system.
Echo rose melancholically from the grass and looked up.
The mountains were peaceful and incredibly tall, with a waterfall cascading like the Milky Way—unapproachable in its majesty.
The Profound Turtle carrying mountains and seas glided smoothly into thick clouds, white mist slowly merging with the dense green.
A white blur brushed past Echo’s robes. She checked where the Orb usually perched, took a deep breath, and reached to draw—where was Nine Heavens?
She patted herself down.
Nine Heavens was missing.
But no matter!
The path to charm wouldn’t crumble without Nine Heavens. She was no longer the system who didn’t know how to be charming!
Echo’s expression turned resolute as she used spatial compression techniques to rush toward Seraphine’s location.