Chapter 56: How Can you Mess up That Badly?!
Finn stood in the doorway, silently judging every soul in the room like a bitter reality show contestant.
There he was. The golden boy. The Chosen One™. The anime protagonist with proper lighting and brushed teeth. Surrounded by fangirls and praise. While Finn looked like a half-drowned raccoon carrying three freeloaders and a depression arc.
His eye twitched.
Ardin stood at the center, armor shinning still—somehow (of course), doing a weird thumbs up + wink combo that actually got giggles from the crowd. His biceps practically had their own gravitational pull. A sparkle glinted off his teeth with an actual ting! sound effect like the universe was his editor.
"HAHA, AND THEN I SLICED THE SLIME MONSTER IN HALF—WITH JUST ONE SWING!" Ardin boasted.
The crowd erupted in cheers.
Seraphina gasped. "That’s amazing, Ardin! You’re so... so brave..." she said dreamily, clasping her hands near her chest. Her breasts bounced unnecessarily. Like they had their own wind physics. There was no breeze. Finn checked.
Finn’s soul left his body briefly. And was very envious.
’What is this, a sponsored stream?! I swear he’s got plot armor coded in his hair gel!’
Meanwhile, over at the lonely table in the back, Chunkus was gnawing on a rib roughly the size of a small child. His entire face was buried in meat like he hadn’t eaten in twenty years.
Finn frowned. ’Did he kill a cow or mug a barbecue?’
Then in the corner, there was Raze. Brooding. Leaning against a support beam like he was waiting for Ratman to recruit him.