Chapter 277 - 35: Finally
Athan stood still on the landing, his chest rising and falling unevenly. His face was blotched and damp, his hands twitching at his sides as if uncertain whether to defend himself or reach out.
Shawn stared at him in disbelief, heart thudding painfully. The tears had rattled him. Athan never cried. He was always collected, always proud. But now, seeing him like this, undone and fragile, something bloomed in Shawn’s chest. Hope. Dread. And confusion.
"...Why were you crying?" Shawn asked at last, his voice quieter than the silence around them, nearly drowned by the drumming of their hearts.
Athan looked away. He wiped his face first, then he replied, "Forget it. You shouldn’t have seen that. I’m sorry for showing you such an unsightly view."
Shawn frowned. "That’s not an answer."
"I said forget it," Athan replied, firmer and colder. He was trying to save what remains of his dignity. "Go back inside, Shawn. You don’t have to see me like this."
He was heartbroken already, and now, he was embarrassed by his unmanliness. He picked up the bin and the bouquet, then turned away from Shawn to leave.
But before he could take another step, Shawn’s hand darted out and grabbed his wrist. "Don’t do that."
Athan froze.
"Don’t just walk away again," Shawn pleaded. He bit his lower lip, his eyes lowered a bit, but he made sure his voice was louder this time. Louder and more honest. "I know it might sound ridiculous, but... after I saw you break down like that, I hoped..." His voice caught. "I hoped it was because of me. That you were hurting because of me."
Athan didn’t speak. His eyes darted away again, lips pressed tightly. Saying that was selfish and asking why he cried was inconsiderate. How was he supposed to answer that when he couldn’t even utter a single word of how painful it was, hearing and seeing Shawn reject and disregard his flowers symbolizing his feelings?