Chapter 49
“Your Majesty, this commoner is Qing Ganshi. I am skilled at examining corpses. I disguised myself as a man and apprenticed under a coroner for four years, then worked independently as a coroner for another three. I was the coroner who solved the Broken Palm Case in Lengyang Commandery.”
“If I enter the palace, I can determine the causes of death, assist Your Majesty in solving cases, and decipher the language of corpses!”
After saying all that in one breath, Qing Ganshi finally revealed a trace of unease beneath her calm, composed exterior.
She was gambling.
The path of a female coroner was simply too difficult. Discrimination, contempt, and schemes had made every step arduous. And sooner or later, disguising herself as a man would become a serious liability.
Therefore, when she learned that the Emperor was appointing female officials, she had found a way to join the ranks of the palace candidates. After passing round after round of selection, she had made it this far.
Qing Ganshi wanted to enter the palace as a consort and take an easier route toward becoming a female official, so that His Majesty would have the chance to see what she was capable of.
And after witnessing the boldness Your Majesty had displayed just now, Qing Ganshi decided to tell the truth outright.
The moment her words fell, the selected women and the ministers erupted in an uproar.
The coroner who had solved the Broken Palm Case, which had made such a name for itself throughout Jiangnan, was actually a woman? At the time, countless coroners and government examiners had been helpless before the case!
No wonder that coroner had suddenly vanished after becoming famous. She must have been discovered disguising herself as a man.
A woman working as a coroner? How ominous! Utterly brazen! It was practically beyond belief!
A woman who dealt with corpses had actually dared appear before His Majesty. Surely His Majesty would have her beheaded on the spot!
But then Yun Yaoyao walked straight toward Qing Ganshi and studied her seriously. The more she looked, the more pleased she became.
“After entering the profession of corpse examination, you must have suffered greatly.”
“At My side, anyone with ability may stay. It matters not whether they are man or woman, noble or common.”
“You. Stay.”
Qing Ganshi’s eyes suddenly stung.
Ever since she had embarked upon the path of becoming a coroner, the words surrounding her had always been filled with incomprehension, doubt, and malice. This was the first time anyone had told her, You must have suffered greatly.
Those words made her want to cry more than any attack she had ever endured. She could not help lowering all her defenses and revealing the softness hidden beneath them.
Qing Ganshi met Yun Yaoyao’s gaze, her voice choked with emotion. “This commoner thanks Your Majesty!”
Your Majesty, if you are willing to treat me sincerely and value me in the future, I, Qing Ganshi, will never betray you. I will devote myself to your service until my dying breath!
How could a foul-omened coroner who dealt with corpses be allowed into the imperial harem?!
Once again, several censors began banging their heads against the ground as they passionately remonstrated.
Yun Yaoyao gave them a cold sidelong glance. “Are you choosing women for Me, or am I choosing women for Myself? This is what I like. Any objections?”
“If you object, go to Xuanzheng Palace and smash your heads against the dragon pillar. Even if you die, you’ll at least earn a place in the history books.”
As an emperor, if one could not appropriately show a tyrannical side now and then, what was the point of being an emperor at all?
As soon as this threat was issued, the remonstrating officials immediately became obedient. Even their eyes seemed noticeably clearer.
Hehe, Your Majesty’s old habits are showing. Please, continue…
“Next.”
After Qing Ganshi set the precedent, the selected women no longer had any reservations.
“Your Majesty, this commoner is Shu Qian. I am skilled in mental arithmetic, mathematics, bookkeeping, counting money, and so on. My father owns more than ten rouge shops, and I have always managed the accounts. I have never made a mistake! If I enter the palace, I can keep Your Majesty’s books!”
Yun Yaoyao nodded in satisfaction. “You stay.”
Minister Zhou has been working himself to the bone lately, day and night. Even the donkey at the village entrance doesn’t work itself that hard. I hear his constipation has gotten even worse.
I’ll train her first. When the opportunity arises, I can send her to the Ministry of Revenue to help Zhou Siren shoulder the burden!
“Next.”
“This commoner is Naixue. My heart beats somewhat faster than an ordinary person’s. I have fourteen years of experience with an accelerated heartbeat. If Your Majesty doesn’t believe me, come closer to my chest and listen. You’ll hear how fast my heart is beating…”
What in the world?
Yun Yaoyao hurriedly waved her hand. “Next, next.”
“This commoner is Wu Tingshou. I am skilled at attracting bees and butterflies, and I know a little animal speech.”
Yun Yaoyao’s interest was piqued. “What a unique skill. Demonstrate it.”
Wu Tingshou stepped out of the line and began to dance gracefully. Before long, quite a few butterflies and bees were truly drawn to her, circling around her body.
Yun Yaoyao became even more interested. “Bring My Rice Bucket over.”
Someone immediately went to the imperial stables and brought over Rice Bucket, who had been chewing grass.
Wu Tingshou walked up to Rice Bucket, gently placed a hand against its flank, and tilted her head up to mutter to it.
After a while, Wu Tingshou withdrew her hand and bowed to Yun Yaoyao.
Seeing her hesitant expression, Yun Yaoyao said directly, “Speak freely.”
“Your Majesty, it says: ‘You stingy two-legged creature! You called me here without even giving me anything to eat. Just wait until the day you want to ride me. I’ll make sure your hot face meets my cold rear.’”
As soon as those words were spoken, everyone could clearly see emotions called awkwardness and embarrassment appear on the horse’s face.
Yun Yaoyao was speechless. Those were exactly the sort of words that could come from that gluttonous, foolish horse.
“You stay. Next.”
“…”
“This… this commoner is Xiao Yanran. I am skilled at crying. I have cried from the time I was little until now. If I enter the palace, I can… sob… sob… cry for Your… Your Majesty to see… waah, waah, waah!”
Yun Yaoyao: …
Being able to cry could come in handy at a funeral, but surely the imperial palace could not have someone dying every day.
“Next!”
“Your Majesty, waah, waah, waah!”
“This commoner is Fang Yao’er. I am skilled at spreading rumors.”
“Oh? Spread one for Me.”
Fang Yao’er slowly approached Yun Yaoyao and whispered something to her.
Yun Yaoyao nodded. “Approved.”
Fang Yao’er immediately turned around and happily announced to the remaining candidates, “His Majesty has just recognized my abilities and bestowed upon me the title of Changzai. Today’s quota is now full, so the remaining candidates may leave directly.”
The moment these words were spoken, the selected women’s faces turned pale, their disappointment and sorrow impossible to conceal. Some had already begun sniffling and sobbing.
The ministers wore regretful expressions. The spectacle was ending far too soon.
Little Wuzi immediately stepped forward to record the chosen women’s names and present them with scented sachets.
Seeing this, Yun Yaoyao laughed. “What she discussed with Me just now was idle chatter. What she told all of you was a rumor. The selection will continue. Fang Yao’er, you may stay, but once you enter the palace, you are not permitted to spread rumors recklessly.”
Fang Yao’er was delighted. “As Your Majesty commands!”
The selected women: …
Their emotions today had been jerked up and down like a roller coaster.
After that, Yun Yaoyao also selected women with extraordinarily keen hearing and eyesight, one who knew how to make incense, and another who was skilled in medicine.
By the time the sky was nearing dusk, the first round of His Majesty’s personal selection of more than a hundred candidates had finally come to an end.
Yun Yaoyao bestowed upon all seven women the rank of Answering.
She did not want them to be trapped within the square walls of the imperial palace in the prime of their youth, doing nothing but waiting for a man’s favor. She hoped even more that each of them could make use of her talents and shine brilliantly in her own way.
“I am sapiosexual. I adore clever, hardworking women. The more contributions someone makes to the Yanchi Dynasty, the more I will favor her!”
As she said this, Yun Yaoyao took the hand of her mascot, Consort Tu, and began her indoctrination.
“Why has Consort Miao been able to enjoy My favor all this time?”
“Because she is clever and hardworking. She rises earlier than I do every day, trains her body, reads widely, and constantly strives for excellence so that she may help shoulder My burdens. The museum was Consort Miao’s idea, and she is now managing it herself. Her talents mean she need not be confined behind a single palace wall.”
“Anyone can become like Consort Miao—whatever she has, you can have too!”
Seeing the seven Answering Ladies once again breathing heavily, their eyes blazing with determination after being thoroughly inspired by her, Yun Yaoyao finally stopped.
My future female officials, start competing!