World After Worlds

Chapter 38

At first, Hansel thought he was only lusting her. Lust at first sight, something like that, that was what he thought. But over time, his interest evolved to attachment, it wasn’t lust- but he was attracted to her as a person not to her body. He couldn’t say it was love because he knew it was not love.

He was trying to figure it out, is it lust? Is it an attraction? Infatuation? What does he want from her? Sex, he could have sex with her. If it was a lustful attraction, he could hope that he would be over it. But right now, he wasn’t certain about himself anymore. He wanted to feel her, however, it seems like it wasn’t a one-time thing for him. He knew at the cruise that one night stand between her won’t be a good idea. So, he wanted to become part of the relationship too for his sexual needs, because he thought, maybe, he was just undergoing his late teenage phase, where his libido was being stirred by her.

But again, it’s not it- if he just wants sex, why is he annoyed that Spencer was having her? Why is he irritated about the marks on her body? Why is he getting worked up with her? Just thinking about it- he doesn’t want to share anymore. If it’s just sex why does he want more than physical attraction with her? He knew this wasn’t just physical...

"Yes, that’s right, let’s have sex." He uttered to her, with dark eyes. Not filled with lust but disappointment. "I wanna have sex with you and get over it." He said in a grave manner.

"...Hansel..." she murmured his name, not comfortable with him, he felt that. "Please, stop." She bowed her head, "Y-you’re scaring me." He had a heavy breath, he inhaled her scent and soothe his nerves.

"Sugar, you’re confusing me. You say you don’t like me- but I feel you are. You do, you like me as much as I like you..."

"I don’t, you’re wrong." She mumbled, "I don’t like you the way you think. You’re wrong." Her mellow voice rang to his ears. He distanced himself from her and made eye contact with her.

"...you don’t really want me?" She shook her head. Hansel gulped and stepped back, away from her, and saw his reflection in the mirror. He looked stupid, he felt stupid.

"Why do you keep sending me signals?" He asked.

"... I don’t know what you’re talking about-"