Chapter 68: Emotions
’JUST WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?’
That question echoed in my mind so much it felt redundant at this point. But I just couldn’t get it unstuck from my train of thought. Everything happened so fast that I still can’t believe it all actually happened. I was already prepared for the test, had already calculated how it would proceed, and given Sam’s attitude, I had predicted he would try to use me as cannon fodder at some point during the examination. But all of a sudden, the most unexpected situation took place—some lunatic whom I’d already had a bad feeling about hijacked me into a hidden corner and began complaining for me to stop what I was doing to her.
I remember it clearly. Her wild eyes, the way she’d grabbed my arm with surprising strength, and the desperation in her voice that didn’t match her composed exterior from earlier. What had she even meant by what I was doing to her?
"Sigh..." I exhaled, staring at the ceiling. The sterile white tiles blurred slightly as my vision adjusted. I was just too shocked for words at this moment.
I mean, what did she even mean by what I was doing to her? Could it be the entity’s presence in me was affecting her somehow, or were my looks too disturbing for her? The questions spiraled endlessly. I just don’t get it. Before I could properly process the situation, my ’instincts’—I guess I can call them that—kicked in, and in the next moment I fell in sync with her panicked energy and tried to forcefully get away from her. At that point in time I was well prepared to utilize a spell on her even when it would incapacitate me. But before I could even do that, her eyes glowed with an unnatural light, and she began using some strange ability on me.
It felt like she was intruding into my soul, peeling back layers I didn’t even know existed. Then she suddenly made a strange expression, like she had seen something in me that shouldn’t have been there. Could it have been the entity? Was that why it suddenly released its hold on me? To hide from her probing gaze? I don’t really understand what happened, but at that point, everything just went wrong, and in the next moment, I felt an influx of indescribable levels of emotions hit me like a tidal wave. And now, here I am.
"I missed the test..." I noted, the words tasting bitter.
This is a problem. A major one.
Missing the test means I forfeited any chances of getting good teammates. They might as well just slap me up with some weaklings who scored extremely low. Well, in all honesty I don’t really care about the grading of the academy, the prestige that comes with it, or whatever benefits they get from being elite... well, except for the comfort. I would have remained completely passive with the academy system, but I chose not to be for one reason alone—the comfort that comes with being an elite. I didn’t want to be placed in some cramped space where five people would be sardined together. I won’t have any privacy for my plans if it came to that. That was the only reason I was bent on retaining my elite rank. But now, it seemed that plan wouldn’t work. If I end up with incompetent members, no matter how strong I eventually become, it would be useless, since I would basically be carrying the worth of four people on my shoulders, considering a team is made of five people.
The weight of that realization settled on my chest like a stone.
"..." I touched my chest, feeling my heart beating slowly but steadily.
Bump.