Book 18: Chapter 4
Tanya didn’t reply right away. I didn’t rush her. I just leaned on the door and waited for her answer. As I said, I needed her opinion. I wanted to know what she wanted. If she wanted to leave and I kept her, she’d only loathe herself more. If she wanted to stay, I wouldn’t tell her to leave.
I was thinking, “What does Tanya want, though? Does she want to stay or leave?”
As Lucia and Nier said, Tanya was an understanding and sensible kid. When she realised what her condition was, she’d definitely choose to leave so that she didn’t disturb and threaten us. The North was her only home, however. I wanted to know if Tanya really wanted to leave.
Tanya didn’t make a sound after a long wait. I straightened up and turned around to look at the door. I sincerely said, “Tanya, I’m not looking for your answer after you think about it carefully. I want to know what you’re thinking, but that’s precisely why I think your answer is meaningless. Tanya, I know what you’re thinking. You’re a child. Don’t think about risks, safety, not safe and whatnot. You just need to tell me if you want to leave or stay. Of course, even if you go further North, I’ll make sure to have Irina look after you. I won’t give you the cold shoulder; you can come back at anytime, and I’ll visit you. You’re at home, Tanya. We’re your family. Nier and Lucia may not be your biological mother, but we all treat you as our child and sister. We all care about you. Therefore, we care about your feelings. Tell me, do you want to stay or not?”
I chose to word my last question as “stay” as opposed to “leave”. I was sure that Tanya could notice the subtle difference. As long as she said she wanted to stay. I’d have a reason to keep her. To be honest, I didn’t want her to leave; unfortunately, I wasn’t the only person in the Imperial Palace. If the others in the palace evaluated her as a liability I forcibly kept, they’d most likely discriminate against her. That was why I need justification. If Tanya wanted to stay, then I’d have a legitimate reason to keep her.
Tanya gently pulled open the door. She was expressionless despite the situation. I truly couldn’t tell what she was thinking. Eventually, she solemnly answered, “Your Majesty, I wish to leave.”
“Wh-…”
Tanya nodded: “I want to leave. It is not because I feel that I will bring you trouble or because others feel that I am a threat but because I want to leave. I was happy during my time with you. I can sacrifice anything for you, which is why I do not feel discontent with my current condition. To the contrary, I am honoured. Hence, please allow me to do something for my parents as a child, and let me leave. While I am at it, I will help you watch over those dragons.”
“Tanya…”